So anyone got any funny pool room stories

Quite often we hear stories on AZ about players getting their equipment stolen.
Just think of how you or anyone would feel to leave the hall and realize that their vehicle is missing.

I can't think of any members here that like thieves all that much.

Boy, thats something to be proud of. Not a very good player but a great car thief.

doitforthegame said:

So, you don't think that any members like thieves all that much? How about that guy that hides his identity to play someone he knows has no chance to beat him for money. To me that is deceitful and stealing. But many of those people seem to be worshiped here.

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I totally agree.

I once saw a guy get his stick chopped by a ceiling fan. He missed a shot and raised his cue in anger he forgot there was a ceiling fan over his head. He was a real A hole so it was extra funny

I wasn't there when it happened, but a fellow by the name of "Big" John, got stuck on a pool table at our local pool hall.
Many years ago we had a local that everyone called "Big" John. The reason he was called by that name was simple enough, he was just over six feet tall and weighed in at around five hundred pounds.
One afternoon "Big" John was playing One Pocket and, as sometimes happens, had a shot that required a bridge. Being far too lazy to reach down and grab the crutch from under the table, John stretched out as far as he could over the head rail...And, got stuck.
There he was, all five hundred some pounds of him, teetering back and forth with a WTF look on his face.
After everyone stopped laughing two guys pushed down on his legs, and two more pushed up on his arms and set him free.
I only wish there had been camera phones in those days. :smile:

Tramp Steamer said:

I wasn't there when it happened, but a fellow by the name of "Big" John, got stuck on a pool table at our local pool hall.
Many years ago we had a local that everyone called "Big" John. The reason he was called by that name was simple enough, he was just over six feet tall and weighed in at around five hundred pounds.
One afternoon "Big" John was playing One Pocket and, as sometimes happens, had a shot that required a bridge. Being far too lazy to reach down and grab the crutch from under the table, John stretched out as far as he could over the head rail...And, got stuck.
There he was, all five hundred some pounds of him, teetering back and forth with a WTF look on his face.
After everyone stopped laughing two guys pushed down on his legs, and two more pushed up on his arms and set him free.
I only wish there had been camera phones in those days. :smile:

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Made me laugh out loud with that one... thank you... the ultimate belly hook!

doitforthegame said:

...How about that guy that hides his identity to play someone he knows has no chance to beat him for money. To me that is deceitful and stealing. But many of those people seem to be worshiped here.

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Not by alll. Plenty of us have been hollered at for alleged online 'knocking'.

...and there is a chance (small, agreed) that the pool sucker might win something that wasn't his already. No such opportunity exists for the theif's victim.

One day I was playing with a guy an ahead match and after a few hours of back and forth, he was starting to pull in front. Then he goes to take his next shot and the guy on the next table is breaking so he stands back and waits for buddy to break. The guy breaks and kicks his back leg up 3 feet in the air and boots my opponent right in the crown jewels, sending him crumpling to the floor. I thought I would be able to take advantage of it and come back to win the set, but I couldn't stop laughing and got my ass kicked. Good times..

Tramp Steamer said:

I wasn't there when it happened, but a fellow by the name of "Big" John, got stuck on a pool table at our local pool hall.
Many years ago we had a local that everyone called "Big" John. The reason he was called by that name was simple enough, he was just over six feet tall and weighed in at around five hundred pounds.
One afternoon "Big" John was playing One Pocket and, as sometimes happens, had a shot that required a bridge. Being far too lazy to reach down and grab the crutch from under the table, John stretched out as far as he could over the head rail...And, got stuck.
There he was, all five hundred some pounds of him, teetering back and forth with a WTF look on his face.
After everyone stopped laughing two guys pushed down on his legs, and two more pushed up on his arms and set him free.
I only wish there had been camera phones in those days. :smile:

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I'm pretty sure when he got back to his feet, all the balls moved to his side of the table

The Guy that ate Billy

I already know this is pretty rude, but it's still kinda funny nonetheless...

We have a local shortstop that used to frequent our place at least 3-4 times a week. We'll call him "Billy", for the sake of the story. He was overweight, maybe about 320lbs +, and I guess because most of us rarely could beat him we always ended up resorting to 6th grade fat jokes on him (didn't bother him, we're all friends and he was always the first person to rip on himself..). Well, about 3 months ago he all of a sudden stopped showing up, and right about the same time a new player to our area started coming in to play. Thing is though is this guy is almost twice the size of Billy, and the first night he came in to play I asked my buddy, "who's the big guy?". His reply was, "I think that's the guy that ate Billy...". It was priceless, and now that is all everybody knows him as, The guy that ate Billy...

Very childish, I know, but it still makes me laugh..

Blue Hog ridr said:

Boy, thats something to be proud of. Not a very good player but a great car thief.

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There are much worse things than that out there, much worse. At least this guy uses his brains and not a gun or pushes junk to kids.

i was playing one pocket one time for $ and me and my opponent are usually pretty much fire at your hole every shot. We are playing on a table close to the front desk and into the pool room walk two drop dead gorgeous girls. The room is full and there is a waiting list for tables so the girls sit down next to our table to wait. My opponent starts up a brief conversation with the girls but he's gambling so he doesnt put in too much effort.

Then something strange happens. Me and my opponent get involved in a long uptable game, which is so unlike us. The balls all go uptable and pretty soon we have a varner like wedge game going on. Of course many of the shots we take are preceded with a lengthy thought process and then a shot that goes uptable into a rail and up near a pocket.

So after about 15-20 min of this hot girl #1 says to hot girl #2 "wow these guys are worse than we are!...this is boring...lets just get out of here".

They leave and my opponent turns to me and says...yknow I would have been ok with it if you wanted to call that game a push and played some nineball for a while! I was like well wtf why didnt you say so! He just said...well looks like we both dogged it!

A few years ago a friend and me were playing 9 ball for beers I had just got my first set of false teeth a few days before and was not used to them I had to make a long tough shot on the 9 to win the set I made the shot and let out a big breath of air and my top plate came out and landed on the table and stop the cb from rolling my buddy called a foul of coarse I disagreed we argued over it for a good while and decided to play another set and drink a couple more beers

billf59 said:

A few years ago a friend and me were playing 9 ball for beers I had just got my first set of false teeth a few days before and was not used to them I had to make a long tough shot on the 9 to win the set I made the shot and let out a big breath of air and my top plate came out and landed on the table and stop the cb from rolling my buddy called a foul of coarse I disagreed we argued over it for a good while and decided to play another set and drink a couple more beers

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Lol, that's some funny shite....

x-rated

doitforthegame said:

I need something else besides the "so, he thought he was hustling me but I ended up hustling him and taking all his money" stories. Seems no one ever loses on this site. I need those how I got even stories. Like I used to play a guy back in the stone age. He used to steal a car now and again. Anyway, any time he played and lost he would go out into the parking lot and break into the guy that beat him car. He wouldn't damage it because he was a specialist. Anyway, he would end up rolling the car down the street and around the corner and hide it. You would have to find where he hid it. Keep in mind this was back in the stone age before the steering wheel locked when the key was not in the ignition. You probably couldn't do this today. There got to be some fresh stories out there.

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My two best stories are x-rated, so I dare not post them here.

A pretty good one though was in a team bar tournament in the '80s. It was case game for the match and I was breaking. My opponent took a rest room break and was taking quite a long time, so I racked the balls, mostly for something to do. When he returned, he said, "Oh no, you ain't rackin' for yourself!"

As you might guess, he-racked the balls and I made the "call" 8 in the side to win the match!

Since we have had a story about a guy who moved guys' cars, here's one about a person who did not move a car when asked to.

So that I don't look like a COMPLETE idiot, let me stress that the year of this story is about 1961 or 1962. I stopped in a bowling alley/pool room at about 3:30 in the afternoon. I was seventeen or eighteen years old. This was a serious pool room. Four of the regulars were playing partners banks. One of the players, Jack M, was in his forties or fifties, very dignified, very prosperous. He has a brand new white Thunderbird convertible. He comes over to me and says, "Do you have a driver's license?" I said I did. "Okay," he says, "you know my car. I'm parked over on Hamilton Avenue (a half block away) and in another ten minutes that'll be illegal. Here are my keys. Go out and just drive my car around to the parking lot behind the building." I came back into the room ten minutes later and gave him back his keys. I said, "I'm sorry Mr. M., but I don't know how to drive your car." He looks at me and says, "What do you mean?" I said, "I don't know how to drive an automatic transmission."

The poolroom goes nuts! Guys are falling over themselves with laughter, but Mr. M. sticks up for me. He says, "Don't laugh at the kid. He did right. He sees he doesn't know what he's doing and he stops. He did right." Then he says to me, "When this game is over, I'll take you out and teach you how to do it."

You can imagine what the joke on me was in that poolroom for the rest of my time there.