I think having one here could be fun, love to hear some of those MN/WI jokes and the Canadians, oh boy :thumbup:
Joke Thread Forum
- Thread starter Island Drive
- Start date
I think they have one in NPR but I haven't looked to see what has been posted.
http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?t=96294&highlight=joke
http://forums.azbilliards.com/showthread.php?t=96294&highlight=joke
The Joke Thread is one of the few threads I set a subscription for. Whenever someone posts to it (and the pic/gif thread) I see it come up in my User CP.
After his plane was hit and he was forced to eject, the Navy fighter pilot finally regained consciousness.
He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried.
It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Sailor, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "OK...Can I feel your tits, then?"
He was in a hospital, in a lot of pain. He found himself in the ICU with tubes/IV drips in both arms, a breathing mask, wires monitoring every function and a nurse hovering over him, looking worried.
It was obvious he was in a life-threatening situation.
The nurse gave him a serious look, straight into his eyes. Knowing he was not only a fighter pilot, but a Sailor, she spoke to him softly and slowly, enunciating each word: "You may not feel anything from the waist down."
Somehow he managed to mumble in reply, "OK...Can I feel your tits, then?"
Duck walks up to the bar, asks for Corn, barkeep says
''this is a bar, we don't serve corn, get lost!!! Duck leaves.
Next day, duck walks in, barkeep ''what can I get ya''?
Corn....next words outta the bartenders mouth. Get outta here!! If I see ya in here again I'll nail your web ass feet to the floor.
Next day no duck, month went by no duck, he flew south.
Couple mths later the duck walks in, barkeep say, ''what can I get ya'' Duck says, got any nails?
''this is a bar, we don't serve corn, get lost!!! Duck leaves.
Next day, duck walks in, barkeep ''what can I get ya''?
Corn....next words outta the bartenders mouth. Get outta here!! If I see ya in here again I'll nail your web ass feet to the floor.
Next day no duck, month went by no duck, he flew south.
Couple mths later the duck walks in, barkeep say, ''what can I get ya'' Duck says, got any nails?
Kobachi
Scarred but Smarter
The wife decided to take up golfing so she can join her husband.
After a short round, she returns home, disgusted, she throws her clubs on the floor.
“What’s wrong honey?” He asks.
“I was golfing, and I got stung by a bee!” She exclaims.
“Where did it happen?” He asks.
“Between the first and second hole!”
He replies “I told you your stance was too wide”
After a short round, she returns home, disgusted, she throws her clubs on the floor.
“What’s wrong honey?” He asks.
“I was golfing, and I got stung by a bee!” She exclaims.
“Where did it happen?” He asks.
“Between the first and second hole!”
He replies “I told you your stance was too wide”
Judy and Jody are BFFs. They are surprised to see each other at The Pearly Gates. Judy asks Jody what happened. Jody replies she froze to death. Judy gasps "OMG, that must have been horrible!" Jody replies that it was not so bad, at first she got bitter cold, but then simply drifted off to a calm sleep. Then she asks Judy how she passed. Judy said she had a heart attack. "But you are so young?" Jody replied. "Well Jody, I was certain my husband was cheating on me. I came home unannounced and was sure of it. I looked in the garage, nothing. I ran upstairs, nothing. Ran to the basement, nada. Went out and climbed the tree to look in the kid's treehouse and with all that stress and running and frustration, my heart just gave out."
Jody responds, "Um, you know Judy, when you were in the garage, if you would have looked in the chest freezer, neither of us would be here."
Jody responds, "Um, you know Judy, when you were in the garage, if you would have looked in the chest freezer, neither of us would be here."
Just an idear, but it has worked very well on another forum I'm on . They have a separate forum off of the main forum that is for dirty jokes, topics that get " heated", can cuss and or say ANYTHING that you want etc. It's on the main website but you have to stipulate you're 18 or older and acknowledge what type of stuff you are about to encounter. It works well because a lot of it is REALLY funny and cool, keepsEola from getting banned for saying the wrong thing on the main. Guess you could say it's the " adult section ".
What season is a trampoline's favorite?
Spring.
Spring.
speaking of spring...
Two boll weevils grew up on a cotton farm together.
But then, on a sunny spring day, one of the weevils left the farm and moved to NYC.
This weevil that left the farm, became known as a Wall Street genius and made millions.
The weevil who stayed home, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
Two boll weevils grew up on a cotton farm together.
But then, on a sunny spring day, one of the weevils left the farm and moved to NYC.
This weevil that left the farm, became known as a Wall Street genius and made millions.
The weevil who stayed home, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
