McDermott 2009 Cue of the Year - M99A

"I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did. " - Yogi Berra

The Husband Store

The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up
to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit
the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking
and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help
with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign
reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this
floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to
please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


PLEASE KEEP READING

NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives' store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex, beer, and has hunting land.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Like they say: Sometimes you're the pigeon and Sometimes you're the statue!

My new motto: It's never too late to have a happy childhood!

I was walking through the cemetery this morning and was a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said “Morning …” He said, “No, just taking a shit!”