I’m gonna be a Godzillionare !! (Part 2)

breakup

breakup

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
The response to the Betmore Ready Rack has been overwhelming. At Breakup enterprises we are committed to providing the discriminating billiard enthusiast with the ultimate in performance accessories. After exhaustive research to develop a companion product to Betmores Ready Rack we are proud to introduce;

Willie’s Tissue Dispenser

Willie says:

“When my emotions get the best of me and I just can’t control myself, I reach for my handy tissue dispenser. The full size tissue allows me to cover my eyes to shut out the world and helps to muffle my sobs. …I won’t play anyone for any amount without my tissue dispenser”

Willie’s Tissue Dispenser is the perfect gift for any player that throws the trademark Betmore style of frequent uncontrollable tantrums.

Endorsements:

From a former world champion:

I can think of a few players on the tournament trail that it should be mandatory to carry Willie’s Tissue Dispenser. With Willie’s Tissue Dispenser the large soft tissue serves to muffle the sound so they can cry like Willie and I can get on with the business of winning. This is a perfect complement to the Betmore Ready Rack, cuz as soon as I crack open that tight rack, here come the tears.


From an internationally respected money player:

Without fail whenever I post up big cabbage in some unfamiliar pool hall the local hotshot is trying to impress his girlfriend. When their bankroll starts to go down they can make the most god awful noises. I just want to say “look man, if you have to snivel at least do it like a pro, use Willie’s Tissue Dispenser.”

From a world renowned instructor.

I try to teach my students to respect your opponents and be a gentleman when sitting between shots. Once again Willie is setting the example of billiard etiquette for others to follow. Willie realizes when his opponent gets in the lead Willie can’t help but start screaming like a baby at any moment, so as a courtesy to his opponent he always has his tissue dispenser handy. Willie sets the standard of conduct for whining snivelers, he is by far the most courteous cry baby I have ever played, others should follow his lead.


For a limited time when you order the gift set of the Betmore Ready Rack and Willie’s Tissue Dispenser we will include a free copy of Williebetmore's much sought after book. “101 ways to tell the same story over and over and over and over...”

hurry supplies are limited
 

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Breakup wrote:
> After exhaustive research to develop a companion product
> to Betmores Ready Rack we are proud to introduce;
> Willie’s Tissue Dispenser

That's a great product. However, I wish there was a left-handed version for us lefties.

-- peer
 
Peer said:
That's a great product. However, I wish there was a left-handed version for us lefties.

-- peer
Click to expand...


Actually as with all of the Betmore line of products they are ambidextrous, unisex, politically correct and not tested on animals.
 
breakup said:
....we are proud to introduce;

Willie’s Tissue Dispenser
Click to expand...

breakup,
I took the weekend off to practice some pool (have someone explain to you what that is); and when I get back THIS is what I find. SLANDER. LIBEL. VICIOUS INNUENDO. If I was 6 inches taller and 140 pounds heavier I'd kick your a$$.

Once again you have decided to ignore all sense of fair play, and try to reap a financial windfall by using my good name WITHOUT PERMISSION. If I could find an honest lawyer, I'd sue you for all you're worth (I could use a good cup of coffee).

You also criticize my best-selling book "101 Ways to Tell the Greatest Story Ever Told." It is OBVIOUS that you are just jealous after the dismal failure of your 3 books (I would call them a trilogy, but that would just give you more to look up in the dictionary) - "Born to Lose", "A Losers Guide to Losing", and "Losing for Dummies." I'm sorry that your books failed to find an audience (damn that literacy campaign), but you shouldn't try to take it out on me.

You conveniently left out the reviews of my book, prominently displayed on the dust jacket:

From a former world champion

Betmore's book is tremendous, inspiring. For all you loser's (like that breakup guy on AZB), it will give you a glimpse into the far-off world of winners and winning.

From an internationally respected money player

Betmore really knows his stuff. If you want to learn how to win and rub shoulders with the stars of the sport, this is the book. If you want to know how to lose (without style or panache) you should just get some of those books by breakup.

From a world renowned instructor

Betmore tells a great story of playing at the highest level with winners. If you want to know what it's like to be a winner, playing with winners; this is the book. Almost anyone can become a winner (except for that breakup character on AZB - what a loser!!).
 
breakup said:
.... not tested on animals.
Click to expand...

It's hard to tell from the pictures ;)

... and I don't need the book, it's been on here 102 times !

You guys need your own trans-continental-woofing / goofy-product section.


Dave
 
The Breakup enterprises think tank has just notified me they are beginning to work on a book/movie deal. Tentatively the project will be;

“On the road with Betmore and Breakup” the title says it all (they insisted that you get top billing due to your “Paris Hilton” celebrity status)

My people will be in contact with your people.

Let’s do lunch.
 
breakup said:
The Breakup enterprises think tank has just notified me they are beginning to work on a book/movie deal. Tentatively the project will be;

“On the road with Betmore and Breakup” the title says it all (they insisted that you get top billing due to your “Paris Hilton” celebrity status)

My people will be in contact with your people.

Let’s do lunch.
Click to expand...

I don't think good player bad player is quite as effective as good cop bad cop. But I guess you'll never know till you try ;) I'll let you guys flip a coin or something to decide who gets to be the bad player though.
 
supergreenman said:
I don't think good player bad player is quite as effective as good cop bad cop. But I guess you'll never know till you try ;) I'll let you guys flip a coin or something to decide who gets to be the bad player though.
Click to expand...


Thanks I think you may be right. They just want to dabble in the exciting entertainment industry. Luckily the backbone of Breakup enterprises will always be the flagship Betmore line of accessories. Not ones to rest on our success, our lab and engineers are currently working on a specialty chalk that will adhere well to the rubber bumber thingie on any cue. That should be a big seller.
 
Breakup, don't you need a line of magic trick accessories? #1 on the list should be the "Amazing Raffle Ticket Drawing Gloves"; guaranteed to always extract the wearer's raffle ticket from the bag/sack/hat/other-raffle-ticket-holding-type-device. :p
 
supergreenman said:
I don't think good player bad player is quite as effective as good cop bad cop. But I guess you'll never know till you try ;) I'll let you guys flip a coin or something to decide who gets to be the bad player though.
Click to expand...

Greenone,
No coin flip necessary. We're going to play at DCC for a thousand. I'm going to beat him like a rug (and yes, breakup, I know your twin brother was a rug, blah, blah, blah...).
 
ScottR said:
Breakup, don't you need a line of magic trick accessories? #1 on the list should be the "Amazing Raffle Ticket Drawing Gloves"; guaranteed to always extract the wearer's raffle ticket from the bag/sack/hat/other-raffle-ticket-holding-type-device. :p
Click to expand...

OUCH!!! Please delete this post IMMEDIATELY, before breakup see's it.
 
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