I’m gonna be a Godzillionare !! (Part 3)

breakup

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
The Breakup enterprises team has been inundated with requests develop a product to address an issue that has been prevalent in the famous pool hall “Betmore’s Basement”. True to our commitment of providing the discriminating billiard enthusiast with the ultimate in performance accessories and after exhaustive research to further the Betmore line we are proud to announce the;

Hush Willie

Willie says:

The Hush Willie is a state of the art gag that I can wear for hours in total comfort. When opponents come into Betmore’s basement I expect in addition to my “A” game they want me to regale them with stories of all of my extraordinary acquaintances and former champions that have played on the same green felt as we play on. Sometimes I get a bit too excited and tend to tell one story after another not allowing them adequate time to savor the experience. As one former world champion recently said “Betmore if you don’t shut up I’m gonna stuff a pool ball in your mouth!”. What high praise from a champion. I hadn’t really got started yet and had only mentioned Efren 6 or 8 times, he apparently needed time to let it soak in. Now when I get carried away I can slip on my Hush Willie and they can have the time to enjoy my stories uninterrupted. They must be really good because after just one story usually everyone wants me to keep my Hush Willie on for hours.

Endorsements:

From a former world champion:

When I have played in Betmore’s basement sometimes I just about lose my
cool. That boy can talk! Stories of who’s who in pool , blah, blah, blah,
I, I, I ad infinitum. Unchecked I don’t think there is any end to it. Once
I finally said “Betmore if you don’t shut up I’m gonna shove a pool ball in
your mouth. Well he must have taken that idea to the Breakup design team
because we now have the “Hush Willie”. What a great invention. When at
Willie’s all I have to do is say “Hush Willie” and he slips it on and in no
time you can hear a pin drop. Pool has never been this enjoyable for me
ever, it is truly ready to go to the next level with the “Hush Willie”.




From an internationally respected money player:

When I’m on the road there always is some guy that after I give him some
huge spot he starts chirping about when his dad played Lassiter, orMosconi or whoever, on and on. Now I just say look dude if you wear this
Hush Willie I’ll give you another ball. That move always works, and I
always get the cash. I buy the Hush Willies by the case now and always
leave one behind kind of like a parting gift.


From a world renowned instructor.

I teach my students that mental focus is central to advanced play. Some
students had improper mentors when developing their game, tend to talk too
much and consequently lose focus. One recurring comment I get from younger
players is “but that’s what Willie does!!” When now when they start to get
too noisy I just have them wear a “Hush Willie” and let them see the
difference for themselves. Without exception they are always astounded at
the improvement they see in a short time when their gums aren’t flapping.


The ‘Hush Willie” fits standard pool balls. Special order available for snooker or billiard balls.
 

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ROTFLMAO!!!

I will pay to get someone to video their forthcoming matchup. But it must have audio.

Barbara
 
I just don't know what to say anymore. Breakup, you rock!

edit: Thought of something: Mental note to self; don't mess with Breakup!
 
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breakup said:
...we are proud to announce the;

Hush Willie

.

breakup,
Once again you have exceeded everyone's expectations; setting a new standard for ignorance, slander, libel, and vicious innuendo. Oh, wait, let me use smaller words so you can understand. You are an #$#%^#. If I wasn't such a nice guy, my friend Guido would have you eating through a straw.

Just because your recent autobiography ("My Life: Losing Strategies, and the Losing Loser Who Devised Them") tanked in the market place; you have no right to slander my good name with such a useless product like the gag (to be of any use in cutting down your useless chatter, your opponent would need one that could accomodate a basketball; forget the pool ball).

Out of the goodness of my heart, I've tried to share my experiences with the other forum members of playing with the greats, and of taking lessons from some of the greats. That's what the forum is for. You on the other hand, have debased yourself with your pathetic get-rich-quick schemes like rack-on-a-chain, meat-on-a-chain, condom-on-a-chain, and the poolball gag (all of which are completely illegal, using my endorsement WITHOUT my permission). You've even paid your twin brother Alfred E. (the smarter, better looking twin) to misquote me in that epic article.

Anyway, your feeble attempts at gaining notoriety are laughable. Why, my partner Efren Reyes even asked about you - he said, "Who is that pathetic guy over there watching us real players, is he a pool player?" I had to be honest, and I just said, "no."

P.S. - if I wasn't afraid of you trying to duck out of our DCC match, I'd have Guido give you a matching set of ankles (I've just about got the 1000 large spent).

P.P.S. - Because I have too much class, I have refrained from telling the forum about the time the terrorists took your family hostage (they threatened to release one of you every day until their demands were met - how embarrassing).
 
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if u continu like that u might become a godzilionaire

greath work m8

my favo still is the portable triangle.:D
 
Williebetmore said:
P.P.S. - Because I have too much class, I have refrained from telling the forum about the time the terrorists took your family hostage (they threatened to release one of you every day until their demands were met - how embarrassing).

There you go again. If I have told you once I have told you a thousand times, that isolated terrorist hostage incident had nothing, nada, zip, zero, zilch to do with the fall of the Berlin wall. Purely coincidence. (Talk about innuendo:rolleyes: )
 
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Grady said:
Am I goimg to have to referee this much ballyhooed match?

Grady,
Only if you believe in karma; and you've been very, very bad in a previous life.

P.S. - if you do, then consider this a standing offer to double any bribe that breakup offers you (though in general, all he really has to offer is bear meat or marmot pelts). It WILL be a good match though - those tables are tough as a cob.

P.P.S. - my standing offer means I'll double any monetary bribe that breakup offers. If he's offering some sort of unnatural act of personal servitude, I'm out.
 
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Grady said:
Am I goimg to have to referee this much ballyhooed match?

I've been asked to comment on why our grudge match ("The Thrilla in the 'Ville") would require a referee. Suffice it to say that breakup comes from a long line of cheats and thieves - they'll steal anything that isn't nailed down. In breakup's family, any possession that you have longer than 5 minutes is considered a family heirloom. Just stating the facts.
 
Grady said:
Am I goimg to have to referee this much ballyhooed match?

That is a fantastic offer Grady. You do understand your hands will be full reminding Willie of little things like “when you miss you stop shooting” or “there is no way you can score from the chair” etc. You will be amazed at the things that are second nature to everyone else need to be pointed out to Willie.
 
breakup said:
That is a fantastic offer Grady. You do understand your hands will be full reminding Willie of little things like “when you miss you stop shooting” or “there is no way you can score from the chair” etc. You will be amazed at the things that are second nature to everyone else need to be pointed out to Willie.

breakup,
Your advice to Grady is POINTLESS (as usual), as I don't plan on missing, and I don't plan on spending any significant time in the chair (except if you insist on taking a break to go throw up in the bathroom). Hell, he will have his hands full just trying to get you to quit putting your empties on the playing surface, and trying to keep you from getting all that grease from your moose-jerky on the balls.
 
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