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View Full Version : Do pool players actually believe what comes out of their mouths


kryptonite9
06-24-2009, 03:58 PM
Lets hear them:

What have you heard a pool player say and you thought,
Can he actually believe what he is saying?

Some of my favorites. (Followed by what really is going on)

I haven't hit a ball in a month. (But drove 3 hrs to get here for this tournament)

I never play pool. (Yet I see you 3 times a week in a pool room)

I don't really play hard for 100 a game. (BTW can I borrow 40 bucks)

The more money I play for the better I play. (BTW can I borrow another 40 bucks)

I don't play for 20 a set. (Can I at least borrow 20 dollars)

My backer will be here if we bet 10,000. Any less is a waste of his time. (Sure I bet he will)

I play better than him. (Even though he finishes higher than me in every tournament and beats me gambling)

I play better than everyone. (Even though I never won anything)

I hustled my way thru college. (No you didn't)

You never really seen me play my REAL game. (What exactly are you waiting for?).

I lost cuz I got bored. (Even though we only played two races to five)

I don't like playing people who don't win anything. (Even though I just lost to them).

I don't have any oportunities to get better. (While I sit in a pool room watching Cash Cab)

I'm not going to get in a bad game and lose 50. (I will just put 200 in a poker machine, like slot machine are a great proposition)

matcase
06-24-2009, 04:11 PM
many of those are favorites of mine as well. The hell of it is, it ain't just pool players. It's everyone; all groups and demographics across earth say stuff like this. Of course some more than others. What I think is important, however is this..."everybody talks some bs. this is ok. it is when you faithfully believe your bs that you have pole vaulted over that boarder that separates bs from mental illness." M.A.T.

hangemhigh
06-24-2009, 04:15 PM
many of those are favorites of mine as well. The hell of it is, it ain't just pool players. It's everyone; all groups and demographics across earth say stuff like this. Of course some more than others. What I think is important, however is this..."everybody talks some bs. this is ok. it is when you faithfully believe your bs that you have pole vaulted over that boarder that separates bs from mental illness." M.A.T.

I like the one where the guy says " I play way better than my MATCASE looks"...LOL, you know he is lying.

14-1StraightMan
06-24-2009, 04:15 PM
The best one that I have heard a lot over the years is:

"I hustled my way thru college"....... LOL

They all can't shoot pool to saved their lives. Now that's funny. I think that they might of won a few bucks off their drunk buddies and over the years. They really believe they are good.

Gerry
06-24-2009, 04:19 PM
Lets hear them:

What have you heard a pool player say and you thought,
Can he actually believe what he is saying?

Some of my favorites. (Followed by what really is going on)

I haven't hit a ball in a month. (But drove 3 hrs to get here for this tournament)

I never play pool. (Yet I see you 3 times a week in a pool room)

I don't really play hard for 100 a game. (BTW can I borrow 40 bucks)

The more money I play for the better I play. (BTW can I borrow another 40 bucks)

I don't play for 20 a set. (Can I at least borrow 20 dollars)

My backer will be here if we bet 10,000. Any less is a waste of his time. (Sure I bet he will)

I play better than him. (Even though he finishes higher than me in every tournament and beats me gambling)

I play better than everyone. (Even though I never won anything)

I hustled my way thru college. (No you didn't)

You never really seen me play my REAL game. (What exactly are you waiting for?).

I lost cuz I got bored. (Even though we only played two races to five)

I don't like playing people who don't win anything. (Even though I just lost to them).

I don't have any oportunities to get better. (While I sit in a pool room watching Cash Cab)

I'm not going to get in a bad game and lose 50. (I will just put 200 in a poker machine, like slot machine are a great proposition)



Dude.....to hell with all that!.....lets get together and hit some. You know you can give me 60 to 100.....or the 6 would be maybe fair?



what?....your not gonna add me to your list are you? !


hows it goin K-dog?

I'm always practicing here at the house if you want a work out...


G.

Cuephoric
06-24-2009, 04:19 PM
I give him the 8 (anyone,doesn't matter if they've ever even heard of them before now. AND it's a better player)

Yesterday,I hit that same shot 100 times on so and so for the cash. (On an Efren like bank/cut/carom with draw/combo)

I played alot more when I was younger (from a college freshman)

"He doesn't look so tough" (Hardtimes Jamboree spectator in '06 watching John Schmidt)

How can these guys be playing in a tournament this big,when they scuk so bad at 8ball...I'd have put it in the side and ran out!They must just be rich and looking for guys like me to donate a ton to...( Same guy watching Bobby Hunter play a safety in one pocket)


I could have been a pro years ago,but I didn't want people to know that I can play (apa sl4 on a barbox in Baggs Wyoming,Pop.300.)

Scott Lee
06-24-2009, 05:04 PM
kryptonite9...Hey, at least they can potentially get SMARTER watching Cash Cab! :D

Scott Lee
www.poolknowledge.com

I don't have any oportunities to get better. (While I sit in a pool room watching Cash Cab)

kryptonite9
06-24-2009, 05:14 PM
Dude.....to hell with all that!.....lets get together and hit some. You know you can give me 60 to 100.....or the 6 would be maybe fair?



what?....your not gonna add me to your list are you? !


hows it goin K-dog?

I'm always practicing here at the house if you want a work out...


G.

Now that Gerry chimed in, I got another one.

My name is Gerry and I gamble. (Even though I wouldn't bet a dollar that water is wet).

Just kidding. Straight pool is even. I'll give you the 6, if we play even one pocket.

Race to 100 straight. For 100.
Race to 8 9ball. You get the six. For 100.
Even one pocket. Race 3. For 100.

kryptonite9
06-24-2009, 05:15 PM
I give him the 8 (anyone,doesn't matter if they've ever even heard of them before now. AND it's a better player)


Haha,

I know two people. One plays the 7 better than everyone on the planet. The other gives everyone the 8. I don't think I've seen them book a winner in a year.

RRfireblade
06-24-2009, 05:17 PM
The only two I really get tired of hearing is . . .

"I used to really play good before . . . "

(Before reality?)


And my all time favorite , even if you just finished making a reversed cut two rail bank combo to win the game . . .

"Nice shot , I used to play with this guy that 'insert rediculous statement here' . . . "

(Can't actually remember his name tho)

mullyman
06-24-2009, 05:29 PM
This thread reminds me of my favorite pool joke:

Q: How many pool players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 5. One to change the bulb and four to stand around saying "Pbbth, I can do that."

MULLY
I actually have driven way out of my way to play in a tournament after not hitting a ball in more than a month so that one isn't always BS

accustatsfan
06-25-2009, 10:41 AM
"I saw it on youtube" (nobody heard of person who made the video).

"These are the real rules not cheater rules" (person has never left town or read a rulebook).

poolplayer2093
06-25-2009, 10:59 AM
Lets hear them:

What have you heard a pool player say and you thought,
Can he actually believe what he is saying?

Some of my favorites. (Followed by what really is going on)

I haven't hit a ball in a month. (But drove 3 hrs to get here for this tournament)

I never play pool. (Yet I see you 3 times a week in a pool room)

I don't really play hard for 100 a game. (BTW can I borrow 40 bucks)

The more money I play for the better I play. (BTW can I borrow another 40 bucks)

I don't play for 20 a set. (Can I at least borrow 20 dollars)

My backer will be here if we bet 10,000. Any less is a waste of his time. (Sure I bet he will)

I play better than him. (Even though he finishes higher than me in every tournament and beats me gambling)

I play better than everyone. (Even though I never won anything)

I hustled my way thru college. (No you didn't)

You never really seen me play my REAL game. (What exactly are you waiting for?).

I lost cuz I got bored. (Even though we only played two races to five)

I don't like playing people who don't win anything. (Even though I just lost to them).

I don't have any oportunities to get better. (While I sit in a pool room watching Cash Cab)

I'm not going to get in a bad game and lose 50. (I will just put 200 in a poker machine, like slot machine are a great proposition)


Oh my god! you're totally right. i hear this kind of stuff all the time and i just take it for granted that it's bs. but after reading all of this it really hit me. i know people that say everything that's on this list.

hell i even said that " i don't play enough" line the day after i played. but really i don't play "seriously" much. not enough practice/competition

poolplayer2093
06-25-2009, 11:14 AM
This thread reminds me of my favorite pool joke:

Q: How many pool players does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: 5. One to change the bulb and four to stand around saying "Pbbth, I can do that."

MULLY
I actually have driven way out of my way to play in a tournament after not hitting a ball in more than a month so that one isn't always BS

i've done this too. the result was about what i expected. played like a dog

Gerry
06-25-2009, 11:57 AM
Now that Gerry chimed in, I got another one.

My name is Gerry and I gamble. (Even though I wouldn't bet a dollar that water is wet).

Just kidding. Straight pool is even. I'll give you the 6, if we play even one pocket.

Race to 100 straight. For 100.
Race to 8 9ball. You get the six. For 100.
Even one pocket. Race 3. For 100.

no no no, you know I don't ask for weight! we just need to stretch out the races a bit is all

14.1 to 200
10ball race to 7
1 pocket race to 4

that way I can stretch it out and maybe you will get tired! :D

oh and we gotta play at a neutral site....no Classics...or that tricked up trap at your house!.....my table is O.K......:cool:

G.

lady9ball
06-25-2009, 12:31 PM
I play better than him. (Even though he finishes higher than me in every tournament and beats me gambling)

I play better than everyone. (Even though I never won anything)

You never really seen me play my REAL game. (What exactly are you waiting for?).

I lost cuz I got bored. (Even though we only played two races to five)



Hey, you must know my husband! He's a great guy but he lives in a fantasy world sometimes. :)

alstl
06-25-2009, 12:37 PM
The best one that I have heard a lot over the years is:

"I hustled my way thru college"....... LOL

They all can't shoot pool to saved their lives. Now that's funny. I think that they might of won a few bucks off their drunk buddies and over the years. They really believe they are good.

I was in a room a couple years ago when a guy claimed he paid his way through his freshman year in college playing pool. A local guy ran all over him in some cheap sets and I told him afterward he should have asked the guy where he went to college so we could all move there and get rich.

sixpack
06-25-2009, 12:41 PM
I remember one time I was with a pretty good player from Denver (AAA) and we ran into someone that I knew but the good player didn't. He played about A speed in Colorado (C-AAA+) They were just having a beer (I didn't introduce anybody ;) ) and started talking about pool. The first (A) player says "I'm probably in about the top 20 or so in the state. The other (AAA) player said "Heck, I'm not even in the top 100, but I'd like to gamble with you some. I don't mind losing to great players."

Of course we know what happened from there :)

~rc

pooljunkie4ever
06-26-2009, 05:56 AM
How about this one,
I played a long time ago, "did it for beer money". LOL.. We play and the person can't make a ball on a bar table.:grin:

I have a friend that can beat anyone, "sorry I lost his phone number"

someone that owes you, "I will pay next week"

PatH
06-26-2009, 06:44 AM
I like
"I always play better with a few beers under my belt" (Usually a 12 pack)
"I always play better when I've smoked a little in the parking lot"
"I always play better when I do a line or two"

PatH

GMAC
06-26-2009, 07:28 AM
My favorite line is when a guy who has no gear and lose all the time says:

"Wait till I catch a gear on this guy he is done"

And all I am thinking is if you every do catch a gear it's reverse.

Apocalypse2017
06-26-2009, 07:32 AM
"I have an $800 dollar pool stick" AND?:cool:

axejunkie
06-26-2009, 07:44 AM
"That ball skidded on me."

True it does genuinely happen, but I recall Archer saying that during an IPT match after he missed a ball, and it seemed like a pretty lame excuse.

mikeyfrost
06-26-2009, 07:44 AM
A guy says "Hey you wanna play some $50-$100max sets" Other guy says "No, but I'll play you 10 ahead for $2000" (Translation: Mr. 10 ahead doesn't want to play at all cuz he cant win)

"You play better than me but I'll try you some anyway for 2 bucks a game" (Really the guy has the nuts, knows the guy wont play for 2 dollars and is maximizing his value on the game)

"You can't win" (I hope that scares him off)

"Bet what you want" (I hope this guy dont have more money than me)

crawfish
06-26-2009, 08:14 AM
A guy says "Hey you wanna play some $50-$100max sets" Other guy says "No, but I'll play you 10 ahead for $2000" (Translation: Mr. 10 ahead doesn't want to play at all cuz he cant win)

"You play better than me but I'll try you some anyway for 2 bucks a game" (Really the guy has the nuts, knows the guy wont play for 2 dollars and is maximizing his value on the game)

"You can't win" (I hope that scares him off)

"Bet what you want" (I hope this guy dont have more money than me)

Yeah, good ones. That first one rings a bell for some reason?

"Anybody want to play some cheap sets?" (Bet all you want. I have a line on every swinging di#$ in here)

"I'm not playing for $5 a game. You play too good." (I'll rob your a$$ for $20 though. Jump.)

"I'll give the six to anybody in the house and I get two to one on the money" (I could probably give it to you anyway, and am stealing with the odds on the money. Plus, if you guys fall for this, you have no clue what you're doing)


I'm not gonna give away any more translations, there might be some mad players out there if I do.

doitforthegame
06-26-2009, 08:16 AM
So, when I owned the poolroom, I used to have many open events and would draw all the top players in the Northeast. I had one guy that really could play (200+ straight pool run), but his heart was the size of a raisin. He would only play (and destroy) the C & D players. The day after one tournament where the final four were Santos S; Ginky; Mika and Kid Delicious, he came strutting in. I realized, I hadn't seen him all weekend. He looked down at the chart, and in all seriousness, looked at me and said "Humppphh. There isn't a name on that chart that could beat me." I still want to punch him to this day.

mikeyfrost
06-26-2009, 08:47 AM
Yeah, good ones. That first one rings a bell for some reason?

"Anybody want to play some cheap sets?" (Bet all you want. I have a line on every swinging di#$ in here)

"I'm not playing for $5 a game. You play too good." (I'll rob your a$$ for $20 though. Jump.)

"I'll give the six to anybody in the house and I get two to one on the money" (I could probably give it to you anyway, and am stealing with the odds on the money. Plus, if you guys fall for this, you have no clue what you're doing)


I'm not gonna give away any more translations, there might be some mad players out there if I do.


They all probably sound familiar, most of those are your token lines lol. Do we need to talk about APA patches and league ratings to identify victims.

sixpack
06-26-2009, 08:48 AM
They all probably sound familiar, most of those are your token lines lol. Do we need to talk about APA patches and league ratings to identify victims.

:) I put APA patches on my stuff just to lure you in...

~rc

mikeyfrost
06-26-2009, 08:59 AM
:) I put APA patches on my stuff just to lure you in...

~rc

That's what I was getting at...someone who never played a day of league in their life walks around with break and run patches velcroed to their case amd stuff like that

poolfoole
06-26-2009, 11:26 AM
That's what I was getting at...someone who never played a day of league in their life walks around with break and run patches velcroed to their case amd stuff like that

It's even worse when they flaunt their 9-ball on the snap and rackless patches (especially a SL3 who only has to win 2 games). :D

I've got those damn pins and patches lying around all over the place. I should buy a jacket and have them all put on and proudly displayed. :rolleyes:

sokaiba
06-26-2009, 11:35 AM
I was playing in a weekly on Wednesday and I'm shooting when I hear "I haven't played pool in a long time" from the table next to me. I looked over and this kid had to be around 10. He walks up to the table to shoot and gets on his knees (eye level with the table now) and holds the stick up over his shoulder and starts waving it around at the balls. Looks like he rowing a boat down the lake. It took every ounce of strength to keep myself from busting up. Guess the last time he played he had to have been 4.

inside_english
06-26-2009, 11:39 AM
many of those are favorites of mine as well. The hell of it is, it ain't just pool players. It's everyone; all groups and demographics across earth say stuff like this. Of course some more than others. What I think is important, however is this..."everybody talks some bs. this is ok. it is when you faithfully believe your bs that you have pole vaulted over that boarder that separates bs from mental illness." M.A.T.

..................................

ShootingRazbone
06-26-2009, 12:27 PM
My personal favorite....

I played alot a long time ago and quit..... started playing again 2 weeks ago....

(wtf ever dude)

Apocalypse2017
06-26-2009, 12:28 PM
My personal favorite....

I played alot a long time ago and quit..... started playing again 2 weeks ago....

(wtf ever dude)

Do I know you? :cool:

crawfish
06-26-2009, 12:30 PM
I have actually used this to make me look like an idiot.

"You know, I used to play. Paid my way through college with it. Of course I'm not what I once was."

How many guys claim this crap? Kind of a reverse effect in my favor. When I hear this, I'm normally all over that guy too. Most players see this as a green flag statement. "Go and get MR. I paid my way guy."

BryanBpool
06-26-2009, 12:35 PM
They all probably sound familiar, most of those are your token lines lol. Do we need to talk about APA patches and league ratings to identify victims.

lol. This is why I put my stupid 8 on the snap and 9 on the snap patches in plaaaaaaaain sight all over my case.

People tend to think you cant shoot a lick.

APA patches are worth someone giving you the 7 and the last three ;-) :thumbup:

BryanBpool
06-26-2009, 12:36 PM
:) I put APA patches on my stuff just to lure you in...

~rc


Well done.

mikeyfrost
06-26-2009, 01:36 PM
lol. This is why I put my stupid 8 on the snap and 9 on the snap patches in plaaaaaaaain sight all over my case.

People tend to think you cant shoot a lick.

APA patches are worth someone giving you the 7 and the last three ;-) :thumbup:

7 and last 3, come on man you shouldnt know what the 7 and last 3 is if you are a league player. A good buddy of mine that often plays up the league thing followed by he wont bet more than 5 bucks a game does this and its hilarious to see.....

He says he can't beat him even so he needs "something to even it out" doesnt call it weight or a spot on purpose...then a guy makes an offer of "something to even it out" my buddy then will proceed to make him explain the ins and outs of it like if he gets the 6 out he makes the guy explain what that means for 10 mins.

Moral of the story is if a guy acts like a league guy he needs to commit to it. Never rob the guy for too much at a time either while doing this, shit will hit the fan if you come out playing like Nevel. Ahhhh good times