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Tom In Cincy
04-11-2003, 01:26 PM
There has got to be new Murphisms to be added..

1. If you really want to get better at pool, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.

2. The game of pool is 90% mental and 10% mental.

3. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.

4. When you jump up, causing an bad shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

5. Any change works for a maximum of three shots, or at a minimum of... not at all.

6. No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.

7. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your stroke.

8. If you have to masse' around another ball, you can either hit that ball first on purpose, or just mis-cue, scratch and get it over with.

9. The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas and secrets.

10. The inevitable result of any pool lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your other bad habits.

11. If it ain't broke, then try changing your grip anyway (and then you tip, cue, stance, stroke, etc).

12. Hustlers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.

13. After a sh** shot alway stop and say "I played that!".

14. A pool match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

15. It's surprisingly easy to make a shot when you mis-cue, hit two rails and kiss off another ball.

16. Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

17. Nonchalant shots count the same as chalant shots.

18. Brain farts are not the result of eating pinto beans.

19. The shortest distance between any two points on a pool table is a straight line that passes directly through the center a cluster.

20. There are two kinds of sh** shots: ones that go in by accident and the ones that go in just the way you meant to play them.

21. You can skillfully make a easy shot 10% of the time, and a luck a hard shot 90% of the time.

22. Every time you make a hard shot, you must subsequently miss two easy shots to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

23. If you want to hit a slow roller one rail, hit it hard enough to go 6 rails and claim you had a spasm.

24. There are two things you can learn by pausing your backswing and checking the position of the object ball: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

25. Side pockets attract cue balls; corner pockets repel object balls.

26. You can put "draw", "follow" and "spin" on the ball, but no one can put "straight" on the ball.

27. The "dead on" nine ball is always invisible during your shot.

28. If there are 3 striped balls in the jaws of pockets, you have solids.

29. Don't put on a different tip until you've had a chance to see if it will pop off when you throw you cue on the table.

30. If you can make up a new reason why you lost, it doesn't count against you.

#31. Absolutely NEVER chalk your stick before you miscue.

#32. It's not the best player that will put you in the losers bracket, but the guy that "never plays.."

#33. Whenever you travel out of town with a friend and fellow player to go to a tournament. You will always end up playing each other.

#34. All shots are tuff before they are easy. St

#35 The only time you stop the cueball dead in the middle of table on the break, it will get kicked in the side pocket.

#36 The only time in a game you let the cueball go, it will scratch somehow.

#37 If there is only one way to get stuck behind a ball, the cueball will find it.

#38 If you think you are going to miscue, you will.

#39 If you think there is NO WAY an opponent will get out of this safety, he will. (as in, kick it in or leave you safe)

#40 You will ALWAYS see the deadlock safe AFTER you go for the break-out and don't get it.

#41 When you're behind in a match and need an open table for a runout, you'll get the worst layout you've ever seen.

#42 Only your opponent can make the "9 on the break" 3 times in a row to win the match.

#43 Your opponent never misses *that* shot against you.

#44 You will always draw the player most likely to win the whole tournament in the first round.

#45 When given the choice, you will always choose the worst choice possible.

#46 During a tournament match is never the optimum time to start thinking about playing safeties.

#47 Squatting the cue ball on the break guarantees that you'll have no shot on the 1-ball.

#47a If you can't see the 1-ball on the break, invariably it's the last ball in motion that hooked you.

#48 Drinking alcohol doesn't improve your mental game; it enhances your memory of your mental game.

#49 You play 3 rail position and have the C/B hook you on a ball 1" off the rail. >

#50 You loose the lag/flip to have your opponent run a big number on you.

#51 Your opponent misses a ball so far it goes in another pocket, and runs out on a hill match.

#52 Make the nine on a hill match only to have the c/b creep over and drop in the side as well as your heart along with it.

#53 Simple cut and the object ball skids and never hits the pocket. Damn dirty balls.

Tom In Cincy
04-11-2003, 01:30 PM
This is a collection of "Muphisms" from respondents from RSB and CCB Pool forums.

Any personal experience comments, with any or all of the above posts, would be greatly appreciated....

I seem to have been on the receiving end of almost all of them at one time or another....

Toad13
04-11-2003, 07:52 PM
good post really enjoyed Thanks Toad

9balldiva
04-14-2004, 11:53 AM
I just got to this post. I enjoyed them all...

what about:

51. If you are in a hill to hill match and the shot in front of you is *that* shot you always make...you'll miss.

52. If you beat someone out of $500, and they are pissed, don't worry they'll be back to try to get their money back.

53. Why is that when you are trying to impress someone with your game, you always play worse?

54. If you think it's a dead bank, it isn't.

55. (for girls) If you are out playing pool it is inevitable that at least one guy will let you that when you bend over you can see directly down your shirt.

Wally in Cincy
04-14-2004, 12:16 PM
That's quite a list Tom. How about...

"the number of a gadgets in a player's case is inversely proportional to his skill at the table" (I'm living proof of that)

"If you make a perfect lag, rest assured that will be the last good shot you make all night"

drivermaker
04-14-2004, 01:15 PM
That's quite a list Tom. How about...

"the number of a gadgets in a player's case is inversely proportional to his skill at the table" (I'm living proof of that)

"If you make a perfect lag, rest assured that will be the last good shot you make all night"


Let me see if I have this straight..."Tom in Cincy", "Wally in Cincy", and also "Wally in the natti". Are you two brothers or are we dealing with one person who has multiple personalities that carries on conversations with each other. Maybe there's another brother locked up in there by the name of "Darryl in Bengalsland" or possibly even a sister. Damn...it must be fun when you're crazy.

Wally in Cincy
04-14-2004, 01:37 PM
Let me see if I have this straight..."Tom in Cincy", "Wally in Cincy", and also "Wally in the natti". Are you two brothers or are we dealing with one person who has multiple personalities that carries on conversations with each other. Maybe there's another brother locked up in there by the name of "Darryl in Bengalsland" or possibly even a sister. Damn...it must be fun when you're crazy.

drivermaker,

sorry for the confusion. I need to change my signature to "Wally in Cincy". I was "Wally in the Natti" but I could not register under that name because there was too many charachters.

Tom in Cincy is a friend of mine. We used to play 14.1 at SnookerS in Cincy.

Unfortunately for me he moved from Cincy to Sacramento recently so now I call him SacTown Tom.

Actually I don't really live in Cincy, I live in Hamilton (also known as "Hamiltucky")

Now I bet you are really confused :D

I don't post under aliases. I leave that to "Jerry Brice" aka FL

drivermaker
04-14-2004, 02:51 PM
drivermaker,

sorry for the confusion. I need to change my signature to "Wally in Cincy". I was "Wally in the Natti" but I could not register under that name because there was too many charachters.

Tom in Cincy is a friend of mine. We used to play 14.1 at SnookerS in Cincy.

Unfortunately for me he moved from Cincy to Sacramento recently so now I call him SacTown Tom.

Actually I don't really live in Cincy, I live in Hamilton (also known as "Hamiltucky")

Now I bet you are really confused :D

I don't post under aliases. I leave that to "Jerry Brice" aka FL


I don't believe a word you're saying...I've stumbled upon the truth and you currently have the speaking role right before Tom emerges. I think he's struggling to get out now....Tom....Tom...are you in there?

Williebetmore
04-14-2004, 05:41 PM
I don't believe a word you're saying...I've stumbled upon the truth and you currently have the speaking role right before Tom emerges. I think he's struggling to get out now....Tom....Tom...are you in there?

No, I think you are wrong. It is really 3 different people. Wally, his brother Daryl, and his other brother Daryl.

Williebetmore
04-14-2004, 05:47 PM
Wally,
On a more serious note, some of the players in our straight pool league were thinking of perhaps a little Indy/Cincy challenge match next Fall. Maybe take the top 4 or 5 players and match up some weekend afternoon - home and home. It could make for a fun weekend road trip (though I'm afraid you would trounce us big time - all of the high runners seem to have fallen out over the last several years - but enthusiasm beats skill any day, at least in the mind of the enthusiastic). Also the hall we play in here is a real dive, but I suspect there are nicer places in Cincy. If I don't hear from you, I'll try a PM this summer.

drivermaker
04-15-2004, 05:28 AM
No, I think you are wrong. It is really 3 different people. Wally, his brother Daryl, and his other brother Daryl.


That very well could be the way it is. Wally gave an explanation and this is how it sounds...Tom in Cincy really doesn't live in Cincy, he lives in Cali, however he still goes by Tom in Cincy. Wally in Cincy also doesn't live in Cincy but he too goes by Wally in Cincy. Since he (there's another one) moved to Hamilton, you would think he might go by Wally in Hamilton, but he also goes by Wally in the Natti instead. I think that's kind of notti to be doing something like that, but I'm not from Cincy so I don't know. If you want to know the truth, the whole thing seems very nutty. I understand that Wally had a great Uncle by the name of Frank Nitti, but he never went by the name of Nitti in Natti because be was neither from Natti or Cincy. He was from Chicago and hung out with Capone who also was neither from Cincy or Natti. Wally in Cincy or Wally in the Natti and Tom in Cincy who should be Tom in Cali used to play 14.1 together, which is "straight", quite ironic since this whole story sounds very crooked. You'd have to be a real square to believe it because they keep talking in circles. Somehow Daryl and his other brother Daryl might be behind the whole thing but I don't want to know where they're from. And possibly another Murphism for both Tom and Wally in Cincy is...if you post enough threads, you're gonna get your share of crap. :D

Wally in Cincy
04-15-2004, 07:08 AM
Wally,
On a more serious note, some of the players in our straight pool league were thinking of perhaps a little Indy/Cincy challenge match next Fall. Maybe take the top 4 or 5 players and match up some weekend afternoon - home and home. .

That sounds like a grand idea. 4 of the fellas matched up with the Columbus OH contingent a couple of years ago. I will PM you the email address of our league pooh-bah tomorrow as I don't have it with me now.


...It could make for a fun weekend road trip (though I'm afraid you would trounce us big time -

Don't know but it would be fun finding out. Just for the record, I would definitely show up to spectate but not to play, as I rank only about 24th out of 36 players in the league.


Also the hall we play in here is a real dive, but I suspect there are nicer places in Cincy. .

The place we play is very nice. It's called SnookerS. We play on the seven 9-foot Robertson tables in the front room. What about Chalkie's(?) in Indy? Do you go there?

Wally in Cincy
04-15-2004, 07:10 AM
drivermaker,

One time an anonymous ne'er-do-well called me Wally in the Nutty. I thought that was a cheap shot :D