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JB Cases
11-23-2012, 06:24 AM
You Ain't Gonna Believe This

Fiction, Copyright 2001, Jim Loy

You ain't gonna believe this, but it's true. I seen it with my own eyes. And I don't hardly ever lie.

My pal Johnny and me was sitting at a table in the snack bar part of the pool room, drinking milk shakes. Mine was strawberry; Johnny's was vanilla. I couldn't understand that. If you pay good money for a shake, why vanilla when you could have a real shake like strawberry or even chocolate, for Pete's sake? In fact, that's what I was arguing with Johnny about. He said he liked vanilla. His taste buds musta been shot off during the war, although he was never in any war.

Anyway, to get back to the true story that you ain't gonna believe, in walks this middle aged blind guy, led by a monkey on a leash. I could tell he was blind (the guy, not the monkey), 'cause he had those really dark glasses, and he stood kinda stiff, and when he talked to us he was facing a blank wall. He also was carrying a white cane, but that coulda been a scam. Anyway, he said, "Anybody here wanna play some eight ball for a hundred bucks a game?"

Before I could even open my mouth, Johnny was up outa his chair. "Yes sir! I'll play you some pool." He pretended to kick the guy in the groin area; and the guy didn't even flinch. So the guy musta really been blind. So we figured that it was gonna be an honest match.

Well the blind guy hardly missed a shot. He beat Johnny five games in a row. I had to loan Johnny four hundred bucks, 'cause I was the one who had just got paid.

Here's how the blind guy did it. The monkey walked around on top of the edge of the table, and directed the shots. He went around and jabbered in monkey talk. He musta been saying where the balls were 'cause then the blind guy would call his shot, and the monkey would sight along the cue and make fine adjustments by pushing the blind guy in the right direction. Each shot took a while, but Johnny forgot to complain about that, 'cause what we was seeing was so amazing. As I said, the guy hardly ever missed a shot. The monkey even examined Johnny's money to see that it was good.

After losing five games in a row, Johnny said he had to go to the can. Instead he went to the snack bar and bought a bunch of bananas.

The next game, that monkey kept looking over at those bananas. He must have been really distracted, 'cause the blind guy missed an easy shot. And Johnny gave one of the bananas to the monkey. After that, every time the blind guy missed, Johnny gave a banana to the monkey. The blind guy still made some shots. But he never won another game.

The blind guy quit when Johnny was seven hundred bucks ahead. The monkey had eaten four or five bunches of bananas and was eating them with less enthusiasm than he was earlier. His stomach was sticking way out. We gave him a plastic bag to keep the bananas that he was saving for later. Johnny came out ahead, even after paying for the bananas.

When the blind guy walked out the door, he said: "Somebody oughta level that table."

___________________________________

This guy's site is AWESOME!!!

http://www.jimloy.com/billiard/billiard.htm

steveinflorida
11-23-2012, 06:54 AM
Great story, John. Love it!!! :clapping::clapping::clapping:

Atlatlien
11-23-2012, 07:04 AM
Jim Loy is hilarious. Haven't been to his site in a while, thanks for the flashback

cuesblues
11-23-2012, 08:13 AM
The monkey's got the 7

elvicash
11-23-2012, 08:19 AM
Wow thats a great story. Thanks for sharing

bklynjava
11-23-2012, 08:23 AM
http://bklynjava.com/kewl_story_bro.jpg

Lock N Load
11-23-2012, 10:30 AM
Hey J B,
All I am going to say is, Wow! I hope your Thanksgiving was great for you and your family!
Many Regards,
Lock N Load.

bigshooter
11-23-2012, 10:56 AM
I need to get a monkey.

pwd72s
11-23-2012, 10:58 AM
LOL! Thanks

Catahula
11-23-2012, 11:38 AM
gotta give thanks for anything that puts a smile on my face and this did.
Thanks.
Tommy::)

juegabillar
11-23-2012, 03:41 PM
You Ain't Gonna Believe This

Fiction, Copyright 2001, Jim Loy

You ain't gonna believe this, but it's true. I seen it with my own eyes. And I don't hardly ever lie.

My pal Johnny and me was sitting......
......When the blind guy walked out the door, he said: "Somebody oughta level that table."

http://www.jimloy.com/billiard/billiard.htm

Yeap, I don't believe it.!!!!

:D

CreeDo
11-24-2012, 10:42 AM
I think I'm actually the guy in this story. My monkey has since died of bacterial infection and now it's clear why I shoot the way I do and no longer gamble.

alstl
11-24-2012, 11:03 AM
I was in the war, my taste buds were not shot off, and I like vanilla shakes.

Different strokes for different strokes.