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jay helfert
11-28-2012, 09:49 AM
Coming soon to a theater near you! Yes there's a new kid in town and he's got a brand new game for you. It's called Funny Ball, the most hilarious new look at billiards in over four hundred years! Watch the world's greatest players as they use croquet sticks to make balls, all the time walking the rails and battling each other for position. It's every man for himself, a pool ball free for all! The first man to fall off is eliminated and we will battle all the way down to the last man standing. And best of all it will take place on the brand new Diamond FIFTEEN FOOT TABLE!

Our season will begin tomorrow and you can see it all live on funnymoney.tv. I will be your host of course, joined in the booth by none other than Earl Strickland. It will be a winner take all shootout with $1,000,000 going to the last man standing (to be paid in yearly installments of $100). You won't want to miss a minute of the action, so sign up now for our first season of Funny Ball! :rotflmao:

cleary
11-28-2012, 09:53 AM
Coming soon to a theater near you! Yes there's a new kid in town and he's got a brand new game for you. It's called Funny Ball, the most hilarious new look at billiards in over four hundred years! Watch the world's greatest players as they use croquet sticks to make balls, all the time walking the rails and battling each other for position. It's every man for himself, a pool ball free for all! The first man to fall off is eliminated and we will battle all the way down to the last man standing. And best of all it will take place on the brand new Diamond FIFTEEN FOOT TABLE!

Our season will begin tomorrow and you can see it all live on funnymoney.tv. I will be your host of course, joined in the booth by none other than Earl Strickland. It will be a winner take all shootout with $1,000,000 going to the last man standing (to be paid in yearly installments of $100). You won't want to miss a minute of the action, so sign up now for our first season of Funny Ball! :rotflmao:

sounds a lot like bonusball

Sarnia Shorty
11-28-2012, 09:56 AM
Where do I sign up?
I was never the best at pool but I am pretty good at croquet and have a low center of gravity :thumbup:

rayjay
11-28-2012, 09:57 AM
That's funny.
:D

bdorman
11-28-2012, 10:03 AM
We can assume that the $1,000,000 prize fund is being held in escrow, correct?

Yes, at the Bank of Jay.

My money is on AlexP. He can sneak around the those big guys.

HereWeGo
11-28-2012, 10:21 AM
You forgot to mention the custom Bee-Keeper Outfit Jerseys.

pt109
11-28-2012, 10:43 AM
I don't think this is a new game at all...been around for ages.

Have you never seen someone miss a shot?.... and say....
...Hmmmmm, that's funny.

Maniac
11-28-2012, 10:53 AM
I will be your host of course, joined in the booth by none other than Earl Strickland.

Gosh, I would've thought that Earl would have been one of the clowns on top of the table with an elongated mallet in his hands :thumbup:!!!

Maniac

Blue Hog ridr
11-28-2012, 11:40 AM
Jay, can I get a contract to make the Funny Ball mallets.

Let me know what dimensions you need. I am going out to run errands at Canadian Tire and can pick up either toilette plunger or broom stick handles.

I have lots of scrap 2x4s for the end pieces.

I think the shorter plunger handles are beefier and would work much better.

I can custom weight these for the players. Your choice of colors.

Considering that this is a start up for you, I can cut you a bit of a break. How does $500 a piece sound? Keep in mind that these will be custom 2 piece and I can make the end pieces interchangeable for different shots.

Maybe JB will make some cases.

Looking forward to future correspondence with you regarding this matter.

PS - The end mallet will be made from genuine Canadian pine and I will try my hardest to find you some curly maple plunger handles.

For an extra charge, I can do a linen, leather or stack wrap.

Eric.
11-28-2012, 11:55 AM
Drinking already, Jay? Tsk, tsk...


Eric >5 o'clock somewhere

PaulieB
11-28-2012, 12:02 PM
With heavy enough ass weights they will never knock you off!

beetle
11-28-2012, 12:02 PM
Drinking already, Jay? Tsk, tsk...


Eric >5 o'clock somewhere

I know, I thought I had a lot to drink yesterday!

Banks
11-28-2012, 12:09 PM
I know, I thought I had a lot to drink yesterday!

Bonus Beer! :thumbup:

jay helfert
11-28-2012, 12:40 PM
Jay, can I get a contract to make the Funny Ball mallets.

Let me know what dimensions you need. I am going out to run errands at Canadian Tire and can pick up either toilette plunger or broom stick handles.

I have lots of scrap 2x4s for the end pieces.

I think the shorter plunger handles are beefier and would work much better.

I can custom weight these for the players. Your choice of colors.

Considering that this is a start up for you, I can cut you a bit of a break. How does $500 a piece sound? Keep in mind that these will be custom 2 piece and I can make the end pieces interchangeable for different shots.

Maybe JB will make some cases.

Looking forward to future correspondence with you regarding this matter.

PS - The end mallet will be made from genuine Canadian pine and I will try my hardest to find you some curly maple plunger handles.

For an extra charge, I can do a linen, leather or stack wrap.

Love it! I'll take ten!

jay helfert
11-28-2012, 12:41 PM
Drinking already, Jay? Tsk, tsk...


Eric >5 o'clock somewhere

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and get these crazy ideas. It just might work! I only have to find a few sponsors with deep pockets. :cool:

lfigueroa
11-28-2012, 12:47 PM
Coming soon to a theater near you! Yes there's a new kid in town and he's got a brand new game for you. It's called Funny Ball, the most hilarious new look at billiards in over four hundred years! Watch the world's greatest players as they use croquet sticks to make balls, all the time walking the rails and battling each other for position. It's every man for himself, a pool ball free for all! The first man to fall off is eliminated and we will battle all the way down to the last man standing. And best of all it will take place on the brand new Diamond FIFTEEN FOOT TABLE!

Our season will begin tomorrow and you can see it all live on funnymoney.tv. I will be your host of course, joined in the booth by none other than Earl Strickland. It will be a winner take all shootout with $1,000,000 going to the last man standing (to be paid in yearly installments of $100). You won't want to miss a minute of the action, so sign up now for our first season of Funny Ball! :rotflmao:


lol, generally speaking, this is the point at which someone needs to start worrying about damage control. When the parodies start it can either be a very good sign, ala Gangnam Style, or very bad, ala Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin on SNL. Pretty easy to tell which way this one is leaning...

Lou Figueroa

clevbot
11-28-2012, 01:07 PM
Not funny. Full of Haters.

I for one am excited to see some of the best pool players play Bonus Ball. The game is really not that hard to understand. I've watched 3 videos and seem to have figured it out...

JCIN
11-28-2012, 01:19 PM
Not funny. Full of Haters.

I for one am excited to see some of the best pool players play Bonus Ball. The game is really not that hard to understand. I've watched 3 videos and seem to have figured it out...

http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/237/988/ea3.gif

Banks
11-28-2012, 01:21 PM
Not funny. Full of Haters.

Take one - they're absorbant and soft for those with delicate skin.

250008

I for one am excited to see some of the best pool players play Bonus Ball. The game is really not that hard to understand. I've watched 3 videos and seem to have figured it out...

Nobody's questioning whether or not the players are good, nor are they questioning the ease with which the game may be understood.

I haven't watched any videos.

ibuycues
11-28-2012, 01:26 PM
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and get these crazy ideas. It just might work! I only have to find a few sponsors with deep pockets. :cool:

I`ve got deep pockets, but I also have short arms.

Shucks! :(

Will Prout

pt109
11-28-2012, 01:29 PM
GET YOUR LD MALLETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
$279

pt..<..wants a piece of the pi

beetle
11-28-2012, 01:29 PM
I`ve got deep pockets, but I also have short arms.

Shucks! :(

Will Prout

Life just isn't fair! :D

dorabelle
11-28-2012, 01:31 PM
This I would buy.

JD_Hogg
11-28-2012, 01:38 PM
Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and get these crazy ideas. It just might work! I only have to find a few sponsors with deep pockets. :cool:



pretty much all ur crew's been able to do for the last 30 years is bring pool right into the gutter.

clevbot
11-28-2012, 01:38 PM
You're right, this thread isn't about how cool/fun the game looks or how exciting the game might be. It just a few people mocking others efforts. I'm impressed.

As the saying goes, Haters gonna hate. I like that .gif JCIN.

jay helfert
11-28-2012, 01:45 PM
Not funny. Full of Haters.

I for one am excited to see some of the best pool players play Bonus Ball. The game is really not that hard to understand. I've watched 3 videos and seem to have figured it out...

If you don't have a sense of humor I feel sorry for you. :frown:

jay helfert
11-28-2012, 01:46 PM
pretty much all ur crew's been able to do for the last 30 years is bring pool right into the gutter.

How's the view from down there? ;)

clevbot
11-28-2012, 01:49 PM
I believe I have a sense of humor. I just believe this thread is funny in the way that making fun of a kid trying to read and is having difficulty is funny. I usually just peruse while at school, otherwise I'd be out playing pool. Anyways I commented on this thread as I see it as a trend of Bonus ball bashing... whatever. I'll be off your lawn soon enough.

ribdoner
11-28-2012, 01:51 PM
Coming soon to a theater near you! Yes there's a new kid in town and he's got a brand new game for you. It's called Funny Ball, the most hilarious new look at billiards in over four hundred years! Watch the world's greatest players as they use croquet sticks to make balls, all the time walking the rails and battling each other for position. It's every man for himself, a pool ball free for all! The first man to fall off is eliminated and we will battle all the way down to the last man standing. And best of all it will take place on the brand new Diamond FIFTEEN FOOT TABLE!

Our season will begin tomorrow and you can see it all live on funnymoney.tv. I will be your host of course, joined in the booth by none other than Earl Strickland. It will be a winner take all shootout with $1,000,000 going to the last man standing (to be paid in yearly installments of $100). You won't want to miss a minute of the action, so sign up now for our first season of Funny Ball! :rotflmao:

is beerman your bookeeper??

Banks
11-28-2012, 01:55 PM
I believe I have a sense of humor. I just believe this thread is funny in the way that making fun of a kid trying to read and is having difficulty is funny. I usually just peruse while at school, otherwise I'd be out playing pool. Anyways I commented on this thread as I see it as a trend of Bonus ball bashing... whatever. I'll be off your lawn soon enough.

Mama always said..

If you don't have anything nice to say, turn it into a joke.

Seriously, though.. take a tissue, because you're getting all emotional up in here. I wouldn't make fun of a kid trying to read, that's just mean.. I'd make fun of his dad.

clevbot
11-28-2012, 01:58 PM
Whatever. Just trying to be positive.

Island Drive
11-28-2012, 03:54 PM
I can't lift the chalk....wadayadoif its raining?

Banks
11-28-2012, 04:29 PM
Whatever. Just trying to be positive.

No, you're being anal. If you're going to red rep me for making a joke and not having my panties in a bunch, you can go pound sand.

thommy
11-28-2012, 06:35 PM
Nice to see everyone is getting in the Holiday/Christmas spirit early:thumbup:

Paul Schofield
11-28-2012, 07:32 PM
When I look at the topic and I see the poster’s name, it makes me wince.

Because of my involvement in this game for 45 years as a player, proprietor, and tournament promoter, I am careful with my words. My words carry more weight than the average player. The world is always changing and those younger than I see things from a different angle. They like things that I don’t. I don’t always trust my judgment. I would much rather watch and see how people respond and react to new ideas and products. I would not want to say anything that would prejudice or influence their experience.

For those with a following, let's not mock and stifle innovation and investment. We don't need to be supportive either. Just stay out of the way.

Island Drive
11-28-2012, 08:13 PM
Paul as you know, this forum is just like being in the room, with all its diversity....you know as well as anyone there are those you are nice too, those you like, those you help, those you dislike w/o letting em know and those who you won't let walk in your door, and once in awhile if your lucky a lifelong friend will appear. Pool rooms show lifes diversity in a small confined area, you can learn allot by just watching and being quiet, the loud ones just make the others seem that much better.

Blue Hog ridr
11-28-2012, 08:56 PM
My words carry more weight than the average player.

Hahaha, maybe in your world they do Paulie. Which is pretty small compared to Jay's world.

Can't believe it tho, Red Reps getting thrown around in a tongue in cheek thread.

PT, I have the mallet contract wrapped up and you're trying to undercut me by 2 and change.

Do I has to send Jweedo and Nunzio down East for a chat?

Lake Ontario is pretty big and I'm sure there are some hungry fishies in it.

Also, Unca Vinnie has shares in a concrete company.

No, on second thought, I will get Alex to break your break cue.

jay helfert
11-28-2012, 09:20 PM
I guess I need to apologize for having a sense of humor. I thought the other threads were way too serious. I think even the Bonus Ball guys got a laugh out of this thread. If you can't poke fun at yourself, then your life will be miserable. I've been the butt of many jokes, most notably my tendency to fall asleep at the end of a tournament (after 5-7 days of little sleep). Somehow when I nod out my picture ends up online. No biggie, I can take a joke too.

To me the unresolved issues from the U.S. Open are far more serious, with far greater consequences for professional pool in the USA. That situation troubles me a lot more than what happens with Bonus Ball. For the record, I wish Larry and Barry success in their new venture (and they know that), and I will be the first to congratulate them if it flies. I know they have a difficult task ahead of them and many obstacles to overcome. I hope it doesn't get too frustrating for them and they throw in the towel. Now back to Funny Ball!

Blue Hog ridr
11-28-2012, 09:48 PM
Yes, back to Funny Ball. Shipment of mallets might be delayed by a week or so as I have to dig the 2 x 4s out of the snow bank first.

I got some good toilette plungers today for handles. The rubber pieces can be used for various other things like party hats, snack trays, etc.

pt109
11-28-2012, 10:57 PM
Hahaha, maybe in your world they do Paulie. Which is pretty small compared to Jay's world.

Can't believe it tho, Red Reps getting thrown around in a tongue in cheek thread.

PT, I have the mallet contract wrapped up and you're trying to undercut me by 2 and change.

Do I has to send Jweedo and Nunzio down East for a chat?

Lake Ontario is pretty big and I'm sure there are some hungry fishies in it.

Also, Unca Vinnie has shares in a concrete company.

No, on second thought, I will get Alex to break your break cue.

What is the problem, Terry?
You don't see Schon putting out a contract on Cuetec, do you?
My customers are the guys that can't afford your customs anyway.
...and your threat might be a bluff...you can't even spell Guido.

..and Alex already broke my BK first edition..:angry:
94 pounds, but he hits like a lumberjack.

But if Vinnie calls me, I'll probably 'croak eh?'.....:help::thud:

Blue Hog ridr
11-29-2012, 12:40 AM
Jweedo is an Italian name just like Gweedo.

Did Alex replace the break cue?

I promised Jweedo, I owe him a favor, that I would name the custom mallets
after him. Long story. Jweedo Custom Funny Ball Mallets.

Not my fault that I knocked up his ugly cousin, Porcina.

Maniac
11-29-2012, 07:54 AM
Not my fault that I knocked up his ugly cousin, Porcina.

That was YOU that did that??? Oh, thank God. All these years I thought I was the one that knocked "Porky" up. And.....that's one ugly kid too!!!

Maniac (just rollin' wid it :thumbup:)

CreeDo
11-29-2012, 09:41 AM
When I look at the topic and I see the posterís name, it makes me wince. [...] For those with a following, let's not mock and stifle innovation and investment. We don't need to be blindly positive either. Just stay out of the way.

We agree on something. I winced too.

Jay says 'hey, I was just joking'... well, someone somewhere is gonna read this thread and think "Jay's a standup guy, and a big name in the pool world, and he thinks Bonus Ball is a joke and is openly mocking it on the forum".

People usually don't make a point of satirizing something, unless they feel there's something wrong with it. To me this thread felt like piling on. The last thing it conveys is "I like and support bonus ball".

jimmyg
11-29-2012, 10:11 AM
Sorry to be a hater Jay, but It'll never fly, all the best players are already locked up in contract by either the IPT or BB. :wink:

J

Woof Biscuit
11-29-2012, 10:52 AM
I'm forming a player's union so that we can't be taken advantage of by any funny business. If you don't do what I tell you, we will boycott Funny Ball. You had better watch it sir!

Bob Jewett
11-29-2012, 10:59 AM
I'm forming a player's union so that we can't be taken advantage of by any funny business. If you don't do what I tell you, we will boycott Funny Ball. You had better watch it sir!
If you're going to have a union you need a good name. One that's unambiguous. How about Pool Masters' Society?

Best of luck with getting any money out of Jay.

Banks
11-29-2012, 11:20 AM
If you're going to have a union you need a good name. One that's unambiguous. How about Pool Masters' Society?

Best of luck with getting any money out of Jay.

Can't he just pay with a Berhman IOU? :confused:

I don't see why people get all pissy over others kidding around. If something I worked on was so flimsy that it couldn't stand up to a few pokes and prods, I really don't think it would stand on its own either way.

If Funny Ball is going to fail, it won't be because of the BB naysayers trying to kill Jay's dream. It will be because BHR can't deliver on the mallets. Either that or James is going to scare everybody off.

I just hope my APA team can make the numbers each night. There is a skill cap on Funny Ball, right? :o

Blue Hog ridr
11-29-2012, 11:30 AM
The mallets will be delivered on time. The one problem that I ran into was finding paint that will stick to the rubber bottoms on the plungers.

Jay wanted those for party trays (he is very frugal, waste not, want not) and wanted them Hot Pink to match the cloth on the Funny Ball table.

The custom mallets will be a cross between the mallets used in the old days before cues were invented and croquet mallets.

Woof Biscuit
11-29-2012, 11:32 AM
If you're going to have a union you need a good name. One that's unambiguous. How about Pool Masters' Society?

Best of luck with getting any money out of Jay.

I see what you did there. :grin-square:

lfigueroa
11-29-2012, 11:42 AM
When I look at the topic and I see the poster’s name, it makes me wince.

Because of my involvement in this game for 45 years as a player, proprietor, and tournament promoter, I am careful with my words. My words carry more weight than the average player. The world is always changing and those younger than I see things from a different angle. They like things that I don’t. I don’t always trust my judgment. I would much rather watch and see how people respond and react to new ideas and products. I would not want to say anything that would prejudice or influence their experience.

For those with a following, let's not mock and stifle innovation and investment. We don't need to be supportive either. Just stay out of the way.


I guess then Jon Stewart, Steven Colbert, and late night TV hosts should be more careful too and not mock anything or person or endeavor because their words carry more weight, particularly with the younger set who see things from a different angle...

This group will never be politically correct and the last thing anyone should be doing is walking around on egg shells. We're here to talk bout pool and, just like down at the pool hall, guys bust each others chops.

The FB thing is pretty funny and if you deconstruct it, even just a little bit, it's because it is Jay posting it and there is more than a kernel of truth behind the saterization.

Lou Figueroa

Blue Hog ridr
11-29-2012, 12:18 PM
Exactly. And kernels of truth are just like kernels of corn. You have to chew them up real good sometimes otherwise they don't digest properly.

justadub
11-29-2012, 12:42 PM
The mallets will be delivered on time. The one problem that I ran into was finding paint that will stick to the rubber bottoms on the plungers.

Jay wanted those for party trays (he is very frugal, waste not, want not) and wanted them Hot Pink to match the cloth on the Funny Ball table.

The custom mallets will be a cross between the mallets used in the old days before cues were invented and croquet mallets.

So how much does a mallet-sized Kamuii chalk cost, and will they be available when the Funny Ball season starts?

Blue Hog ridr
11-29-2012, 12:50 PM
Can't use Kamui as the chalk also has to be pink.
I have a connection on Alibaba that will supply the chalk.

Its being specially formulated as we type. Probably has lead in it but who cares.

Island Drive
11-29-2012, 12:54 PM
Can't use Kamui as the chalk also has to be pink.
I have a connection on Alibaba that will supply the chalk.

Its being specially formulated as we type. Probably has lead in it but who cares.

The Pencil maker does....::dance:

jay helfert
11-29-2012, 01:50 PM
Man, after all this maybe I will have to stage a Funny Ball match. Now I need Justin, Disco, Nathan and Fast Lenny's support. Can you just imagine Alex, Corey, Dennis O. and Tommy Kennedy up on the rails hammering balls with mallets made by Blue Hog. That would surely go viral on Youtube! :eek:

RobertaAgnor
11-29-2012, 02:17 PM
That would be something I'd watch! I could definitely see Alex & Tommy being up for it with their personalities!


Man, after all this maybe I will have to stage a Funny Ball match. Now I need Justin, Disco, Nathan and Fast Lenny's support. Can you just imagine Alex, Corey, Dennis O. and Tommy Kennedy up on the rails hammering balls with mallets made by Blue Hog. That would surely go viral on Youtube! :eek:

tommyceilings
11-29-2012, 03:07 PM
Could you please tell me why your words carry more weight than the average player?

Do you use a heavier font or write twice as big?

No seriously though back to the original question, Why do your words carry more weight than the average player?


"I am careful with my words. My words carry more weight than the average player."

Banks
11-29-2012, 03:40 PM
Could you please tell me why your words carry more weight than the average player?

Do you use a heavier font or write twice as big?

No seriously though back to the original question, Why do your words carry more weight than the average player?


"I am careful with my words. My words carry more weight than the average player."

His alphabet works out. :cool:

250133

jay helfert
11-29-2012, 05:20 PM
Could you please tell me why your words carry more weight than the average player?

Do you use a heavier font or write twice as big?

No seriously though back to the original question, Why do your words carry more weight than the average player?


"I am careful with my words. My words carry more weight than the average player."


Wow, that was not even my statement and now you're attributing it to me. Now I see how rumors get started. Please check post #35 by Paul Schofield. He is the one who made that quote.

By the way, I've never felt that anything I had to say was any more important than anyone else's opinion.

Jobba786
11-29-2012, 05:44 PM
Any dress code? Does the tip has to be made of leather?

-Jon Birger

Woof Biscuit
11-29-2012, 08:14 PM
The words of Jay carry so much weight that they would break a lesser man's jaw.

Island Drive
11-30-2012, 06:45 AM
Any dress code? Does the tip has to be made of leather?

-Jon Birger

All ya need is a bar code and leather shoes on your tippy toes.

jay helfert
12-21-2012, 03:36 PM
On another note, the first Funny Ball match will be at Derby City and it should be a good one. We've got the English bull dog Lee Brett; pool, poker and pain maestro Blair Thein and big bad Dennis Hatch up on the rails for match number one. All players will be using identical 20 oz. house cues (they will wield them like croquet sticks) and it will be a battle to the finish. You don't want to miss this one. There will be blood! The winning player will be the king of the hill until someone can unseat him.

In a special prelim yours truly will take on Barry Beerman and Kevin Trudough in a promoters free for all. All three of us will be wearing protective padding and helmets and playing with police billy clubs. :eek:

Bigtruck
12-21-2012, 03:38 PM
On another note, the first Funny Ball match will be at Derby City and it should be a good one. We've got the English bull dog Lee Brett; pool, poker and pain maestro Blair Thein and big bad Dennis Hatch up on the rails for match number one. All players will be using identical 20 oz. house cues and it will be a battle to the finish. The winning player will be the king of the hill until someone can unseat him.

Is this gonna happen or will it be delayed? :shocked2:

Ray

fishless
12-21-2012, 04:35 PM
Any dress code? Does the tip has to be made of leather?

-Jon Birger

I heard this was going to be a Mosconi Cup points event, hope fully the player will dress accordingly.

Banks
12-21-2012, 04:43 PM
I heard this was going to be a Mosconi Cup points event, hope fully the player will dress accordingly.

I've got the outfit and have been taking a Funny Ball class.. some day, I'll hit the big time! :embarrassed2:

253129

fishless
12-21-2012, 05:00 PM
I've got the outfit and have been taking a Funny Ball class.. some day, I'll hit the big time! :embarrassed2:

253129

Looking good, I'm assuming you got the approval to wear that. I also heard once signed up what you wear and do will be required to go through a review process.

Banks
12-21-2012, 05:04 PM
Looking good, I'm assuming you got the approval to wear that. I also heard once signed up what you wear and do will be required to go through a review process.

I had a vest, too, but it disappeared a few weeks ago! :confused:

fishless
12-21-2012, 05:11 PM
I had a vest, too, but it disappeared a few weeks ago! :confused:

Yeah, I kind of figured something was missing, hence why I was wondering if that was approved or not. I'd suggest finding the vest before you embarrass yourself.

pool101
12-21-2012, 05:43 PM
I had a vest, too, but it disappeared a few weeks ago! :confused:

Did you steal it from CJ? and he stole it back...

Banks
12-21-2012, 05:49 PM
Did you steal it from CJ? and he stole it back...

That's the one! :eek:

253131