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View Full Version : The Post-Match Handshake: My Opinion Has, Once Again, Been Solicited …


sunnyone
01-13-2014, 10:45 AM
(Yes, you louts, some folks do ask for - - and do value - - my adjudication!)

Dear Gentle Readers,

Since I’ve agreed to serve, pro tem, as the Ms. Manners of pool emporia, please do try to pay attention. Thank you. Ever so much.

So, after a tensely-contested … um, contest … to shake hands or not to shake hands?

(Didn’t Billy Shakespeare have something to say re: to, or not to?)

Back to the after-match handshake … some forum observers deny any outreach responsibility on behalf of the losing participant. Other advocates draw a line of demarcation between tournament and money matches.

Fortunately - - for all of you uncertain petitioners - - the widely-acclaimed Sunny-Stipulation is at once precise and eloquent:

When there is a pre-match handshake, a post-match handshake is appropriate.

Either party can, of course, elect to abrogate. Can opt to be boorish.

Deconstructing life is my life,

Sunny

P. S. There are still some apologists who continue to cling to that hoary ‘heat of the moment’ excuse for not shaking hands. Sorry. There is no mitigation - - no matter how excruciating the loss may be - - for churlish deportment.

Thus spaketh Sunny … oh, never mind!

blah blah
01-13-2014, 10:50 AM
Slightly off-topic, but there are SOME people who like to do a bone-crushing pre-game handshake.

I think the intent is to make your hand numb with pain so as to make the first few shots even more tricky.

But I'll share a helpful tip: if you push forward and downwards through the web of muscle between your thumb and forefinger into their web-muscle, their hand can't get enough power to really hurt you. The harder they try to squeeze, the harder you must push to escape the crush.

I don't know why this works, but it does.

rayjay
01-13-2014, 10:54 AM
I'm a fist bump kinda guy myself.
:D

KoolKat9Lives
01-13-2014, 11:04 AM
I'm a pre-game "Good Luck, play well" type of guy. In a tourney I might be inclined to also shake hands. Not in money matches though.

And in either case, I'm a post game handshake type of guy with a conciliatory compliment. :D

I'm a supporter of sportsmanship, having learned the hard way.

Cdryden
01-13-2014, 11:25 AM
If it's the little league baseball post game hand slap, don't bother as it means nothing.

I believe in looking my opponent in the eye and being sincere with my comments and compliments. I make it a point to pick out something in their game that I appreciated and tell them. I seldom say the obligatory "Good Game" anymore. It just comes off hollow and meaningless.

I want my actions to leave as much of an impression as my game. Hopefully my opponent walks away felling that both were good.

Rackemep
01-13-2014, 12:08 PM
I will generally give a pre-game hand shake with a sincere "good luck" then after the match weather I'm winner or looser I will exchange a hand shake again.

It bothers me when someone wont shake my hand after a match...Its a slap in the face to me. One of my league team mates and I found ourselves playing each other for the hot seat at a tournament...I won the match and went to shake my buddy's hand and he just turned and walked away. When I asked him about it later he told me "I'm just a sore looser so you can put your panties away" ...I couldn't believe my own team mate would act this way. Three of us from our team ended up being the final 3 so we just split it 3 ways but I lost a little respect for that guy.

Maniac
01-13-2014, 12:14 PM
(Yes, you louts, some folks do ask for - - and do value - - my adjudication!)

Dear Gentle Readers,

Since I’ve agreed to serve, pro tem, as the Ms. Manners of pool emporia, please do try to pay attention. Thank you. Ever so much.

So, after a tensely-contested … um, contest … to shake hands or not to shake hands?

(Didn’t Billy Shakespeare have something to say re: to, or not to?)

Back to the after-match handshake … some forum observers deny any outreach responsibility on behalf of the losing participant. Other advocates draw a line of demarcation between tournament and money matches.

Fortunately - - for all of you uncertain petitioners - - the widely-acclaimed Sunny-Stipulation is at once precise and eloquent:

When there is a pre-match handshake, a post-match handshake is appropriate.

Either party can, of course, elect to abrogate. Can opt to be boorish.

Deconstructing life is my life,

Sunny

P. S. There are still some apologists who continue to cling to that hoary ‘heat of the moment’ excuse for not shaking hands. Sorry. There is no mitigation - - no matter how excruciating the loss may be - - for churlish deportment.

Thus spaketh Sunny … oh, never mind!

Sunny...next time you have a fire in the fireplace...please toss your dictionary into the fire. You use more $2.00 words than Mark Wilson!!!

Maniac (will shake hands before and after the match)

Banks
01-13-2014, 12:21 PM
I will generally give a pre-game hand shake with a sincere "good luck" then after the match weather I'm winner or looser I will exchange a hand shake again.

It bothers me when someone wont shake my hand after a match...Its a slap in the face to me. One of my league team mates and I found ourselves playing each other for the hot seat at a tournament...I won the match and went to shake my buddy's hand and he just turned and walked away. When I asked him about it later he told me "I'm just a sore looser so you can put your panties away" ...I couldn't believe my own team mate would act this way. Three of us from our team ended up being the final 3 so we just split it 3 ways but I lost a little respect for that guy.

He told you to put your panties away? What a tool. Maybe he needs to suck it up and not act like a baby.

JBB2388
01-13-2014, 12:59 PM
Yeah I can't stand sore losers. I would never not attempt to shake my opponent's hand after a match. Being gracious in defeat is what separates the men from the "panty-wastes". ;)

cluelesscuer
01-13-2014, 02:55 PM
Post match can be a sensitive time...

If I win...I always try to keep brief, like a 'good game'. A lot of people who lose, just want to get the hand shake over with and don't want to hear a speech from the winner...so I just keep it brief.

If I lose (and I'm not too mad at myself), I am more like to say something more than 'good game' and pay my compliments.

Blue Hog ridr
01-13-2014, 11:02 PM
I don't know why this works, but it does

Nothing that a quick shot to the kidneys with a Buck knife won't take care of either.

Of course, you will then be forced to play alone after that.

thefonz
01-13-2014, 11:15 PM
Lets hear everyone's favorite post match commiserations to the loser. I'll start with my favorite efren response "I got lucky there....."

Blue Hog ridr
01-13-2014, 11:51 PM
Really. I played on what we call the Advanced Division in our league.

We lost our first game and got knocked into the one loss side. Our second match in, we played a very good team. One that can handily beat us most times.

Seems funny but when we get put into pressure situations as in a tourney, we can really pull together as a team.

Well, we received 3 points a round handicap from theses guys. I am not a huge proponent in handicap points, specially in tourney play but it is not my decision

Well, we all played well and knocked these guys out. As the team was walking out the door, one guy said, "You can thank us for giving you the handicap points".

Next year, the LO is not going to be using Handicaps and that is alright with me.
Run what ya brung buddy.

BTW, I beat 3 of their players with a much higher handicap than I, and left them with several balls on the table. No shame on my part.

TCIndepMo
01-14-2014, 12:31 AM
Anything post game often has little to do with the actual pool shooting. It's usually the attitude and behavior of the other player.that is most significant.

If you're a jerk - you get little from me (win or lose).

If you're not a jerk - a neutral sounding "Good match" will probably be it.

I've noticed there is often very little difference between subtle hostility and/or indifferent courtesy in the way a player says the words, body language, etc. With some people (especially strangers) it can be hard to tell if the words are sincere or "smart ass" in nature. And YES, I realize with some players it is most obvious what their "F U" factor is! LOL.

Why are we even talking about this? I have no idea when you last washed your hands anyway.

Blue Hog ridr
01-14-2014, 12:58 AM
I know that yer just teasing but in reality, every ball on the table has been touched by someone whos finger has gone thru the paper while wiping their butt.

Shake their hand in earnest and go scrub your paws down.

Then go have your cue re wrapped cause you no doubt have someone elses poop on your wrap. Think about that every time you take a shot.

pwd72s
01-14-2014, 01:18 AM
I know that yer just teasing but in reality, every ball on the table has been touched by someone whos finger has gone thru the paper while wiping their butt.

Shake their hand in earnest and go scrub your paws down.

Then go have your cue re wrapped cause you no doubt have someone elses poop on your wrap. Think about that every time you take a shot.

Gawd! Now you've taken my thought away from the dollars in my wallet having been in some stripper's butt crack...

Blue Hog ridr
01-14-2014, 02:08 AM
You can tell by the smell.

We have plastic money in Canada now. That should make the OCD crowd happy as they can be washed.

You could wipe your bum with a 20 and wash it off in the sink.

Dunnn51
01-14-2014, 04:35 AM
(Yes, you louts, some folks do ask for - - and do value - - my adjudication!) :p

Dear Gentle Readers,

Since I’ve agreed to serve, pro tem, as the Ms. Manners of pool emporia, please do try to pay attention. Thank you. Ever so much. :rolleyes:

So, after a tensely-contested … um, contest … to shake hands or not to shake hands? <----- Finally, the question! ( I shudda just looked for the Question mark!)
;) :p

(Didn’t Billy Shakespeare have something to say re: to, or not to?) It's William,...... "Muffy."

Back to the after-match handshake …(ok) some forum observers deny any outreach responsibility on behalf of the losing participant. Other advocates draw a line of demarcation between tournament and money matches.

Fortunately - - for all of you uncertain petitioners - - the widely-acclaimed Sunny-Stipulation is at once precise and eloquent: <--- Not so sure about that.

When there is a pre-match handshake, a post-match handshake is appropriate. 2 handshakes ?? huh ?? :scratchhead:

Either party can, of course, elect to abrogate. Can opt to be boorish.

Deconstructing life is my life,

Sunny

P. S. There are still some apologists who continue to cling to that hoary ‘heat of the moment’ excuse for not shaking hands. Sorry. There is no mitigation - - no matter how excruciating the loss may be - - for churlish deportment.

Thus spaketh Sunny … oh, never mind! Nothing before, just lag and "Get it on." Afterward if you have a good opp and a good match, its always nice to acknowledge you opp in some respectful way (win or lose). The meaningless diction before and after your match is never obligatory. :smile:

P.S.
Only 1 "P.S." in this post ???? You are slipping :D

If it's the little league baseball post game hand slap, don't bother as it means nothing.

I believe in looking my opponent in the eye and being sincere with my comments and compliments. I make it a point to pick out something in their game that I appreciated and tell them. I seldom say the obligatory "Good Game" anymore. It just comes off hollow and meaningless.

I want my actions to leave as much of an impression as my game. Hopefully my opponent walks away felling that both were good. Well said Chris !

You can tell by the smell. <--- Wondering how Hog knows the diff between Kandie koo & Moose butt ?!? :scratchhead: Wait,..... nevermind,...... I dunna wanna know !! :eek:

We have plastic money in Canada now. That should make the OCD crowd happy as they can be washed.

You could wipe your bum with a 20 and wash it off in the sink.

Tommy-D
01-14-2014, 04:44 AM
Everyone that knows me knows that I hate losing,sometimes I can just laugh it off but when winning means getting to prove something,I can't stand it,and sometimes I get a little animated.

But you know what else? The ONLY times I've not actually got to complete the post-match handshake is when the opponent decided to be a bozo,I've always at least tried,no matter how bad the loss hurt. There are about 5 times I can clearly remember it,from single game tournaments to 1000 dollar sets.

To hell with anything else,that's ME. Tommy D.

justadub
01-14-2014, 05:27 AM
I will generally give a pre-game hand shake with a sincere "good luck" then after the match weather I'm winner or looser I will exchange a hand shake again.

It bothers me when someone wont shake my hand after a match...Its a slap in the face to me. One of my league team mates and I found ourselves playing each other for the hot seat at a tournament...I won the match and went to shake my buddy's hand and he just turned and walked away. When I asked him about it later he told me "I'm just a sore looser so you can put your panties away" ...I couldn't believe my own team mate would act this way. Three of us from our team ended up being the final 3 so we just split it 3 ways but I lost a little respect for that guy.

I can be be a sore loser, more often than I care to admit. But I am ALWAYS the one to initiate the handshake after every match. And I always try to be in the moment during that handshake, with whatever pleasantries seem to fit at the time. I can be sore as hell to myself, but not to my opponent.

Before the match, I'm ambivalent. I will if my opponent initiates it, and will always say "good luck" or some such, but the handshake before isn't as important, at least to me. (The more I think about it, the "pre-match" handshake happens more often when I'm playing people that I don't know, in the league tri-cups or states. During our regular weekly league matches, we all know each other so the introduction isn't necessary.)

krupa
01-14-2014, 06:19 AM
I think it's important to express good sportsmanship, whether it's with a handshake or a Buddy Christ:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/93/Buddy_christ.jpg


Or just saying, "Nice game man!"

When I play friends, we don't shake or anything, we just talk smack but that's also an expression of sportsmanship, just not one I would use with strangers. :)

CreeDo
01-14-2014, 07:36 AM
The only way the handshake can generate any drama is if a hand is offered and rejected.

I don't get upset if the hand is never offered. Some people are squirrely about germs
or just raised differently.

I don't think I've ever left someone hanging on a handshake, and I can't imagine a scenario
where they really piss me off then sincerely offer a hand later anyway.

Jimbojim
01-14-2014, 09:01 AM
I always give hand shake before and after the match no matter the outcome.

But what I find more insulting than someone who won't shake your hand after a loss is those who do offer it but don't really "shake your hand" , they just give it to you all lifeless and flaccid.

oldplayer
01-14-2014, 09:21 AM
on league night I pay attention to those guys taking a leak and oleave the men's room without washing their hands......no handshake for that guy! :outtahere:

PaulieB
01-14-2014, 09:24 AM
Pre-match, I just wave coyly from across the table ... it tends to put them off their game.

clydeNbonnie
01-14-2014, 09:27 AM
I always shake hands before and after matches win or lose. One thing I hate is a limp handshake and most importantly a fist bump. Everyone loses. I lose I firmly shake my opponents hand and wish him well in the next match. I win I firmly shake my opponent's hand and wish him well in his next match.

12squared
01-14-2014, 09:47 AM
I never have refused a handshake or fist bump (if I wasn't initiating it first), but one time I wish I had...just before a match in a 1-pocket tournament my opponent had told me he was sick, just before we shook hands he sneezed a juicy one in his hand and still held it out to shake - yuk. After shaking his hand I excused myself to wash my hands well before starting the match.

By the way, try never to say good luck, because I don't wish them luck, but I do say have good match or play good/well (I never know which is correct) and I really mean it. The fist bump is reserved for people I know well and see/play all the time, otherwise it's hand shakes.

Dave

overlord
01-14-2014, 10:51 AM
Some folks seem to see themselves as regal and the shaking of hands as a breach of etiquette. If you are Earl Strickland and have 5 US open and 3 world tiltles this adds a back story to his manic boorish behaviour.

If you are a living mediocrity you should get in the habit of glad handing all and sundry. In pool rooms all across the world folks line up and lose ( mucho dinero ) to Efren not just because of his resume but because in my opinion he has mastered the art of winning and losing gracefully.

According to William Jefferson Clinton if one cannot kill or jail his or her opponents then the rest is simply politics.

Rackemep
01-14-2014, 11:12 AM
I know that yer just teasing but in reality, every ball on the table has been touched by someone whos finger has gone thru the paper while wiping their butt.

Shake their hand in earnest and go scrub your paws down.

Then go have your cue re wrapped cause you no doubt have someone elses poop on your wrap. Think about that every time you take a shot.

I dont know why but that made me laugh my ass off! I just about spit coffee all over the place...

m79a
01-14-2014, 12:44 PM
The only time I've left someone hanging is a guy who tried to cheat during a game with me during a tourney. He double hit the cue ball and knew it but was going to keep shooting if I didn't stop him. I was already watching him close because he just gotten into it with guy he played previously. He was in a wheelchair and rolled towards the table as a the guy he was playing was shooting the 9 in a hill, hill match.

I'm not all that crazy about the hand shake though. I see too many guys walk away from the urinal straight out the door.

CreeDo
01-14-2014, 02:06 PM
they just give it to you all lifeless and flaccid.

christ now you sound like my girlfriend :angry:

Dunnn51
01-14-2014, 11:26 PM
I posted earlier in this thread That I prefer NOT to shake hands.

Here is my reasoning why:

Some years ago at work I had to make a lav. trip. While staring at the wall in front of a urinal, I noticed someone in a toilet stall. He was having quite a time of it in there. He flushed, hitched his britches, and stormed out of the stall right past the 3 sinks in the lavatory. I finished my business and came out a minute later to see this guy eating his lunch at his desk. :yikes:
From that day forward, my attitude changed about shaking someones hand !! :(

So,..... if (for some reason), I gotta shake someones hand ; I'm cleaning it as soon as I can, (I don't care if its Kate Upton,or the Pope!).

Next time you go to shake someones hand,..... just think they cudda had it down their pants a moment ago.

Maniac
01-15-2014, 07:50 AM
While staring at the wall in front of a urinal, I noticed someone in a toilet stall. He was having quite a time of it in there.

That's just TMI right after my breakfast!!! :thumbup:

And FWIW...I would take a job being Kate Upton's butt-wiping boy...if the job ever came available :wink:!!! IOW, I'd shake her hand no matter the circumstances.

Shoot 'em well, my friend!!!

Maniac