PDA

View Full Version : Efren Reyes facts


RunoutalloverU
04-27-2008, 03:52 PM
Like the popular website, chucknorrisfacts.com I thought it would be funny to have a thread like it only with efren being the subject instead of chuck.

okay here are a couple to start off with

You have never gotten lucky, Efren has already used all the luck in billiards till the end of time.

Contrary to popular belief the 860 with simonis cloth refers to Efren's high run. In one pocket.

JoeyInCali
04-27-2008, 04:02 PM
Efren does not warm-up. The table warms-up to him.
Efren was once asked to draw a ball 5 rails. He said too easy so he drew it to the next zip code.
Efren was once asked to shoot a spotted ball without hitting a rail. Too easy so he shot it opposite one-handed.

p1noy
04-27-2008, 04:11 PM
Efren was once known as "The MAGICAN" according to a cue case maker.

gopi-1
04-27-2008, 04:13 PM
Efren does not warm-up. The table warms-up to him.
Efren was once asked to draw a ball 5 rails. He said too easy so he drew it to the next zip code.
Efren was once asked to shoot a spotted ball without hitting a rail. Too easy so he shot it opposite one-handed.



Check your PM Joey...

CTYankee
04-27-2008, 04:13 PM
Efren Reyes does not need to jump... the table simply ducks.

CTYankee
04-27-2008, 04:24 PM
The last time Minnesota Fats and Willie Mosconi played each other... Efren Reyes won.

Fatboy
04-27-2008, 04:25 PM
He offered me the 6 at the Derby this year-I have nevered played good enough in my life on my best day, to beat anyone who could get the 6 from Efren that might have a chance, if that person(who would break even with Efren getting the 6) was spotting me the 6. I would still lose. Did I say that right? I want to play him someday, I dont want to get robbed, I just want a fair game, But the 6? damn I wish I played that good.

Efren has been my favorite all time player, I first saw him in 86 and saw the magic back then-I was just a C player but he did things differently than others. What makes him so special is his personality in addition to his gift.

JoeyInCali
04-27-2008, 04:29 PM
When Mt Pinatubo was going off, she stopped when Efren showed up in town for an exhibition.
The Pope was once asked Efren to do an exhibition, Efren said he'd do it if Jesus came with the pope.
There are more pictures of Efren than Mickey Mouse, Elvis and Marilyn Monroe combined.
Efren has never missed a shot, the ball missed the pocket on it's own.

p1noy
04-27-2008, 04:34 PM
Efren has never missed a shot, the ball missed the pocket on it's own.

damn he's good..hahaha!:D

branpureza
04-27-2008, 04:39 PM
One night I was having a dream that I beat Efren at one-pocket... he woke me up and made me apologize.

BWTadpole
04-27-2008, 07:27 PM
Efren's $50 cue is how much the cuemaker gave him to use the cue.
Sir Isaac Newton figured out why objects fall down, but he can't figure out how Efren makes balls fall into the pocket.

p1noy
04-27-2008, 08:15 PM
Efren knows English like it's his first language.

Hambone
04-27-2008, 08:19 PM
Whats the difference between a misteak by Efren and Bigfoot?

Some people claim to have seen Bigfoot.

Luxury
04-27-2008, 08:25 PM
Efren Reyes breaks Masconi's high run record every afternoon during his nap time.

Efren Reyes refrains from using his hard break in 9 ball to prevent all 10 balls from shattering.

Efren Reyes is paid one million dollars every election year NOT to run for president.

Efren Reyes was paid the $500,000 from Kevin Trudeau when he won the IPT tournament BEFORE the tournament started.

Moonraker
04-27-2008, 09:20 PM
I had a friend who claimed to have beat Efren. Man, I sure do miss him.

Efren once broke and didn't make a ball on the break -but then suddenly the Earth began to shake making 3 hangers drop. Efren then went on to run the next 314 racks. Predator cues decided to name their shafts after this phenomenon.

cbi1000
04-27-2008, 09:34 PM
what a great thread! Funny shi*

cbi1000
04-27-2008, 09:35 PM
Chuck Norris takes lessons from Efren!

Southpaw
04-27-2008, 09:37 PM
One night I was having a dream that I beat Efren at one-pocket... he woke me up and made me apologize.

You were in bed with Efren?

Southpaw

RRfireblade
04-27-2008, 10:10 PM
If Efren is never hooked , he just gets bored with straight in shots.

Efren only ever missed once , that's way there is now only 15 balls in a rack.

Efren actually doesn't have a high run in pool because he's still not done yet.

Efrens cue is actually just a stick he lent to Moses one night.

johntaggz88
04-27-2008, 10:26 PM
If Minnesota Fats or Mosconi played again who would win? Efren Reyes

If you ran 50 balls and Efren ran 50 balls, Efren still ran more balls than you.

mullyman
04-27-2008, 10:44 PM
Efren Reyes broke his spine and he still isn't handicapped

Q: How many Efren's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, he shot them all out.

Efren could run a rack with a broom stick and then sweep the place up afterwards.

When E.F. REN speaks everyone listens. (some of you may be too young to remember that catch phrase)

RunoutalloverU
04-27-2008, 10:51 PM
Efren doesn't even get spots on his carpet.

derekdisco
04-27-2008, 11:04 PM
In the spirit world, all of the ghosts play "the efren"

Luxury
04-27-2008, 11:32 PM
In the spirit world, all of the ghosts play "the efren"

I think that's my favorite one.

Hambone
04-28-2008, 12:19 AM
Efren once hit a one-pocket shot on accu-stats that Grady could not think up a word to describe.

arsenius
04-28-2008, 12:27 AM
Efren is actually left handed, but he normally uses his right so that he fits in, as well as for the added challenge.

branpureza
04-28-2008, 12:29 AM
You were in bed with Efren?

Southpaw



maybe. jealous?

JoeyInCali
04-28-2008, 12:30 AM
Willie Mosconin has asked St Peter to send him back to earth when Efren gets there. Willie wants no part of Efren.

branpureza
04-28-2008, 12:32 AM
Efren doesn't take a dump, he leaves one.

Dime_Rules
04-28-2008, 01:44 AM
Even if I was just daydreaming.....He still beat me.......twice!!
Lol

I just saw him tonight playing one pocket at hardtimes bellflower..giving this guy a spot i think 10-5 plus the breaks and he still made it look effortless.

softshot
04-28-2008, 02:07 AM
Efren's backspin can move the table several feet...

The 9-ball once called Efren a banger... and has regretted it ever since.

When God's not sure what to do in a tough situation.... he asks Efren.

When stuck in an elevator... follow Efren ... he can get out from anywhere..

kaduku
04-28-2008, 03:45 AM
Efren Reyes singlehandedly brought down the collapse of the Soviet Union in a bet playing their best player in a race to 1....million.

Luxury
04-28-2008, 12:19 PM
Efren Reyes can jack up, and draw the cueball 2 full table lengths, one-handed using his penis as the cue.

Luxury
04-28-2008, 12:22 PM
Efren Reyes invented a strong magnet that actually attracts pool balls. It fits in the bottom of the pocket and he uses it in one-pocket every match only he puts it in his opponent's pocket just to make it more challenging.

Williebetmore
04-28-2008, 12:24 PM
Contrary to popular belief the 860 with simonis cloth refers to Efren's high run. In one pocket.

Over-man,
That is ridiculous....stop spreading such misinformation....his run of 860 in one pocket was done opposite-handed; I'm not sure of his high run right-handed. I think it may have been 2007, since I saw something about Efren and the 2007 DCC.

Luxury
04-28-2008, 12:24 PM
Efren Reyes could have chosen the largest case when he was on the Phillipine's Deal or no Deal. He chose the smaller case and looked like a loser both times he was on.

What most don't know is he won way over a million in side bets betting that he would end up with a small case.

JoeyInCali
04-28-2008, 12:25 PM
Efren does not have a monster stroke but some monsters are called Efren.
The measles cueball was invented to confuse Efren. He can tell where the red dot ends at after every shot.

Luxury
04-28-2008, 12:58 PM
Everyone who claims or believes that Efren is in a "Slump" are all going to be involved as suckers in one of the biggest long-term hustles in pool History.

Luxury
04-28-2008, 01:01 PM
In an experiment Efren Reyes took a new born baby and gave it lessons for a week. The baby played Earl Strickland in a race to 100 9 ball and came back down 17 racks in day 4 to beat Earl in a thriller.

iba7467
04-28-2008, 01:43 PM
Efren only allows himself to be hooked in order to show the world something new.

Efren wasn't born, he was hatched from a pool ball.

There is no evolution of pool, only a list of games Efren has allowed the players to learn.

Efren is really left-handed.

Efren can play blind-folded, jacked up, opposite handed, behind his back, facing away from the table.

Neil
04-28-2008, 02:17 PM
..............

cigardave
04-28-2008, 02:58 PM
Efren's lifetime accustats average = 1.223

HitHrdNDraw
04-28-2008, 03:17 PM
Efren Reyes once drew the cueball three rails... with body english

JoeyInCali
04-28-2008, 03:18 PM
The only time Efren missed was when the Black Hole exploded.

bigskyjake
04-28-2008, 03:32 PM
Efren's poop is used as currency in Manila

Efren's sweat is the main ingredient in Red Bull

Efren breast feeds Mike Ditka

Q-Street
04-28-2008, 03:55 PM
I met a young man named Efren Reyes once. Says Efren was his uncle. I didn't believe him so I asked for his ID. MAN!!!! People be naming their kids after Efren!!!

JoeyInCali
04-28-2008, 04:05 PM
Efren once went to a doctor. The doctor asked him for his second opinion.

DeadPoked
04-28-2008, 04:09 PM
There's no such thing as lesbians, only women who have not met Efren Reyes.

Efren has only ran 8 and out one time...

on a billiard table.

Terry Ardeno
04-28-2008, 04:58 PM
Efren can unscramble an egg.

His reflexes are so quick that he can shut off the light switch and be in bed before it's dark.

He's got new shots that won't be on display until 2016....all his new ones have booked him up thru Dec 30, 2016.

Every one of his molecules are numbered 1-15....

jimmy-leggs
04-28-2008, 05:10 PM
..........

jimmy-leggs
04-28-2008, 05:10 PM
I once seen Efren sink the 8,draw back for 9 ...............2 tables over.:eek:

derekdisco
04-28-2008, 05:37 PM
Efrens kryptonite is the rack.

CebuanoNiNoy
04-28-2008, 07:12 PM
- Efren has a complete set of true teeth but when he plays he makes it invisible so at not to be mistaken as the shark of pool.
- Efren is a D minus player of planet eXxuS however because he is very slow to learn his pool teacher exiled him to planet earth.
- Efren lost to CebuanoNinoy in a high stake match of 1 pocket, race to 11 with the score of 11-1. The only time he score is when
he cheated me by smiling and showing all the glory of his gums.

breaknrun
04-28-2008, 09:05 PM
He's so good he could take naps, on bar stools, in between his matches.

Oh wait, he already does that.

TorranceChris
04-28-2008, 09:46 PM
Kevin Trudeau ran 200 balls after taking lessons from him.

JohnPT
04-28-2008, 10:06 PM
One time Efren put so much backspin on the cb, the table flew! Another time he spun the cb so much it went back in time.

JB Cases
04-28-2008, 10:14 PM
On the 8th day God created One Pocket and gave it to Efren as gift. God said, "from this day forth you shall rule this game and all who play it shall be beneath you." And so it was.

vin
04-29-2008, 01:13 AM
Efren can shoot siamese balls in two different pockets

jay helfert
04-29-2008, 01:42 AM
Efren once ran eight and out on the break shot!

Luxury
04-29-2008, 01:44 AM
Efren Reyes has a hard time not laughing out loud whenever he hears someone say, "There's no money in pool."

Efren Reyes has never lost a game of chess. After every game he claims, "I got lucky."

softshot
04-29-2008, 01:52 AM
Efren's backspin won the burnout competition last year at Sturgis....

RunoutalloverU
04-29-2008, 03:45 AM
If you google efren's miss you will return 1 result. He only double eagled the par 5.

gopi-1
04-29-2008, 03:48 AM
Efren in disguised in Amsterdam, B&R in one shot! :eek:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F7Sy5MZHvfs

RunoutalloverU
04-29-2008, 03:50 AM
If Cesar Morales and Efren Played the universe would instantaneouly cease.

gopi-1
04-29-2008, 03:57 AM
If Cesar Morales and Efren Played the universe would instantaneouly cease.


Why? Is it because of the paradox of the time continuum? http://emoticons4u.com/happy/1202.gif

Rubyron
04-29-2008, 05:01 AM
Efren can put english on both sides of the cue ball.....at the same time.

Efren is also a world class Tiddlywinks player.

Efren is so great, he is only jealous of himself.

Efren coined the Mr. T phrase "quit your jibba jabba".

Efren invented the electric nose hair trimmer.

Efren is quite fond of naugahyde.

Efren was the "back up" drummer for Bun E. Carlos on Cheap Trick's 1979 Dream Police tour.

arsenius
04-29-2008, 05:31 AM
Why? Is it because of the paradox of the time continuum? http://emoticons4u.com/happy/1202.gif
This is why (http://snltranscripts.jt.org/91/91kquizmasters.phtml)(Re: The Bears vs. The Bulls):

Bob Swerski: [ chuckles ] That's a nice try, Carl! That's okay, that's good.. [ moves to Todd ] Alright, todd says: [ takes Todd's card ] "The senseless waste of pitting these two mighty forces of nature against each other, like matter vs. anti-matter, will be a tragedy, not only for the teams involved.." [ flips card over ] "..but for our planet. All nations must band together, to ensure that such a conflageration never takes place." That is absolutely CORRECT!! Todd, you are da WINNER!! Todd, of course, now you win the grand prize - five minutes in the cheese-fry booth!

Funniest SNL thing I've ever seen...that I can remember offhand.;-)

Hambone
04-29-2008, 05:56 AM
Chuck Norris takes kicking lessons from Efren.

Black-Balled
04-29-2008, 06:04 AM
Great thread. I got nothing, because that is what I have been bequeathed by Him.

RunoutalloverU
04-29-2008, 06:25 AM
Chuck Norris takes kicking lessons from Efren.

very clever!

Southpaw
04-29-2008, 06:34 AM
I wish I had a nickel for everytime Efren missed a ball....that plus 95 pennies would give me a dollar. :p

Southpaw

Southpaw
04-29-2008, 06:37 AM
NPR = Never Play Reyes.....

Southpaw

kaduku
04-29-2008, 06:38 AM
Efren Reyes once put so much force-follow on the cue ball it created a time vortex, went to the past, killed the dinosaurs, returned to the present time and got perfect position on the 9.

The reason planets rotate on their axis is because Efren put extreme sidespin on them in the beginning of time.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 06:45 AM
It was Efren's idea to have 5 dollar foot longs at Subway.

Luxury
04-29-2008, 11:49 AM
Efren Reyes has never sold out. However he quit a garage band to be in a popular boy band when he was younger.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 11:55 AM
Efren just rebuilt a 1972 Nova that runs off of WPBA players' Urine so he can beat the gas price boom.

BRKNRUN
04-29-2008, 12:04 PM
Scotch is a Proud Sponsor of Efren Reyes



Electrical Tape

The choice of more professional electricians and Efren Reyes, Scotch Super 33+ Premium Vinyl Electrical Tape is highly conformable, stretchy in all weather, resists UV, abrasion, corrosion, acids/alkalies and is flame retardant. Scotch? Vinyl Electrical Tape 35 is a professional-grade tape that comes in 9 scratch-resistant colors for phase identification and cable marking. Scotch? Vinyl Electrical Tape 88 is a heavy duty, premium grade all-weather vinyl electrical insulating tape that maintains conformability for cold weather applications and is ideal for 1-pocket players, people that use BHE and stringent environmental and mechanical thickness needs. 3M also makes economical tapes for indoor uses and for bundling and securing wires. Scotch? Super 33+ Premium is the choice of champions.

cigardave
04-29-2008, 12:17 PM
Faster than a speeding bullet.
More powerful than a locomotive.
Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

Look! Across the street... in that pool hall!
It's a bird. It's a plane. It's EFREN!

Yes, it's Efren - strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with strange powers and billiard abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Efren - who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Cesar Morales, mild mannered pool player from the Phillipines, fights the never ending battle for Truth, Justice and the American Way.

jimmy-leggs
04-29-2008, 12:29 PM
Woman don't make love to Efren,Efren makes love to THEM."I just got lucky".
Efren pisses Dom Perignon.:eek:

jimmy-leggs
04-29-2008, 12:44 PM
Julius CEASAR and Erik MORALES both asked Efren for their partial name.Julius gave Efren 1 million rubles and Erik promised to slap around Chuck Norris like a little school girl.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 01:03 PM
Hillary and Barack have both asked Efren to run on their tickets as VP.

Efren will play Austin Murphy tonight with a carrot.

Johnnyt
04-29-2008, 01:12 PM
You will find out someday the REAL reason he's called the magician. On impossible shots he switches to a remote controlled Q-Ball with a slight of hand. The ball is controlled by Busta in the stands. Johnnyt

cubc
04-29-2008, 01:13 PM
The Virgin Mary got pregnant from touching Efren's pool cue.

jimmy-leggs
04-29-2008, 01:31 PM
Alot of people don't know this but Efren has 5 son's .........Alex,Ronnie,Marlon,Dennis, and Francisco.

bigskyjake
04-29-2008, 01:36 PM
Julius CEASAR and Erik MORALES both asked Efren for their partial name.Julius gave Efren 1 million rubles and Erik promised to slap around Chuck Norris like a little school girl.


Whoa, whoa ,whoa. This thread was cruising along great until someone stepped over the line with an obvious lie :D :D

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 01:51 PM
Efren will be starring alongside Will Ferrell in the "Old School" sequel.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 01:56 PM
Efren's cell phone plan has unlimited text messaging but he doesn't use it.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 01:58 PM
Efren's personal copy of "Catcher in the Rye" just sold on Ebay for $46.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 02:01 PM
Efren can jump a ball using left over pizza crust.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 02:05 PM
Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges bring Efren breakfast in bed every morning.

Luxury
04-29-2008, 02:34 PM
Zorro asked Efren if he could be Efren's sidekick after the famous z bank shot against Strickland.

Luxury
04-29-2008, 02:36 PM
Efren Reyes supplements his income by selling portable seat cushions to his opponents halfway through their sets.

bigskyjake
04-29-2008, 02:40 PM
Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges bring Efren breakfast in bed every morning.


hahahaha, Nick Nolte is Efren's personal chauffer

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 02:41 PM
When Efren tailgates, he gets there at 4 AM and eats all the sausages before anyone else gets there.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 02:44 PM
Efren makes the Geico Gecko pay his deductibles.

philw
04-29-2008, 02:45 PM
Efren does not warm-up. The table warms-up to him.
Efren was once asked to draw a ball 5 rails. He said too easy so he drew it to the next zip code.
Efren was once asked to shoot a spotted ball without hitting a rail. Too easy so he shot it opposite one-handed.
All joking aside Efren used to play in many of the wednesday night 9 ball tourneys at the Chicago Billiard Cafe back in the eighties and on this particular night he had a new tip put on his cue. He played every shot a hundred miles an hour and I believe he went on to win the tourney. He of course was the best player but believe me this tourney had many good players in it and a 48 man field.
Efren broke his tip in that night and many onlookers go a treat to boot. Philw

derekdisco
04-29-2008, 02:45 PM
Tom Selleck used to gamble on pool. Until he lost his mustache to Efren.

http://images.art.com/images/-/Tom-Selleck---Magnum-PI--C10102602.jpeg

Southpaw
04-29-2008, 02:47 PM
I once knew a guy with a wooden leg named smith....only Efren knew the name of his other leg. :D

Southpaw

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 02:48 PM
Kevin Trudeau tells secrets to Efren that he doesn't want the rest of us to know about.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 02:51 PM
Efren went to Sonic and ordered all 86,000 drink combinations.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 02:53 PM
Efren frequents the NPR section because the Main Forum is too crowded.

bigskyjake
04-29-2008, 02:58 PM
Efren is who shot J.R.

Efren's spiritual advisor is Bowser from Sha-na-na

Efren wrote the song "I wear my sunglasses at night" and gave it to Corey Hart as a birthday present

jimmy-leggs
04-29-2008, 02:59 PM
Efren was Robin Williams stunt double in "Mrs.Doubtfire".

Rubyron
04-29-2008, 03:04 PM
It was Efren's idea to have 5 dollar foot longs at Subway.

Efren and Busta actually sing that song in the commercial.

http://i246.photobucket.com/albums/gg88/rubyron2/efren-loves-subway.jpg

branpureza
04-29-2008, 03:09 PM
it would sound more like

"pibe, pibe, pibe dol-lar poot long"

kaduku
04-29-2008, 03:11 PM
Efren Reyes killed the dinosaurs because they were bothering him during practice.

Efren Reyes destroyed the Roman Empire because they wouldn't pay up after a money game.

Efren Reyes brought about the Protestant Reformation because the Pope told him to stop gambling.

The reason Europeans were exploring the world is because Efren Reyes told them to find him a new opponent.

Efren's cue will solve world hunger and cure every disease.

When Efren positions the cue ball it isn't the cue ball moving, it's the world moving for the cue ball.

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 03:42 PM
Efren's computer has virus protection that keeps him from getting STD's.

PoolBum
04-29-2008, 03:48 PM
His opponent once led him 10-0 in a race to 11, with a straight in shot on the 9, then suddenly got up and conceded the match when he realized he was playing "Efren Reyes".

junksecret
04-29-2008, 04:05 PM
Corey Deuel died and went to heaven. St. Peter met him at the gate and said "welcome, is there ANYTHING you want?" and Corey said "YES, I've always wanted to beat Efren playin' 1-pocket", and St. Peter said....no problem, I'll set up the match for 6PM tonight - first one to 4 ahead.

At 6 PM Corey showed up and they flipped for the break, Corey lost and Efren broke made a ball on the break and ran out....4 times in a row. Corey turned to St. Peter and said...."hey that was just like it's always been, I thought I was finally gonna get to beat Efren playin' 1-pocket" to which St. Peter replied "that wasn't Efren, that was GOD, he just THINKS he's Efren".....:)

corvette1340
04-29-2008, 05:00 PM
As a member of the '82 Milwaukee Brewers, Efren hit .413 with runners in scoring position.

p1noy
04-29-2008, 05:29 PM
65941

Einstein is a genius.

JoeyInCali
04-29-2008, 05:31 PM
There are two pool eras.
BE and AE.

BWTadpole
04-29-2008, 05:34 PM
Efren once made a bank shot so impossible a rift in the fabric of space opened up, and Efren was sucked back in time. The result: Efren Reyes' grandfather is Efren Reyes.

jimmy-leggs
04-29-2008, 05:47 PM
Efrens teeth are on display at the Louvre AND the Smithsonian.His Incisors are at the Louvre and his Molars at the Smith.

branpureza
04-29-2008, 05:57 PM
Apple pays Efren 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

There is no "ctrl" button on Efren's computer. Efren is always in control.

Efren is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Efren doesn't sleep, he waits.

Efren can slam a revolving door.

Efren doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

When google doesn't know it calls Efren.

When Efren looks in the mirror nothing appears... there can never be a second Efren.

Southpaw
04-29-2008, 07:10 PM
ebay really stands for efren beats all....ya'know

Southpaw

jimmy-leggs
04-29-2008, 07:20 PM
Ok,ok,ok,I have to tell the truth.......Efren caught the fish in my avatar with a piece of thread and a tiny piece of chalk as bait.Then I paid him a Trillion dollars to let me hold it for the photo.I'm sorry for lying all this time.:(

Southpaw
04-29-2008, 07:57 PM
Kevin Trudeau's next book will be titled "Secrets of Pool that Efren Doesnt Want You To Know About"

Southpaw

JohnPT
04-29-2008, 11:35 PM
One time Efren was playing Ronnie, Efren broke so hard it knocked off their teeth.

jay helfert
04-29-2008, 11:43 PM
There are two pool eras.
BE and AE.

Tap Tap Tap

JohnPT
04-29-2008, 11:56 PM
Efren had his teeth taken out so he can fit a 9ball in his mouth.

JohnPT
04-29-2008, 11:59 PM
When Efren was a little boy a pool hall grew up around him.

corvette1340
04-30-2008, 06:16 AM
Van Halen, Kid Rock, Lindsay Lohan, and Robert Downey, Jr. wont hang out with Efren anymore because he parties too hard.

corvette1340
04-30-2008, 06:21 AM
Efren went to Duke on a Lacrosse scholarship.

corvette1340
04-30-2008, 06:23 AM
Efren sees in High Definition.

corvette1340
04-30-2008, 06:26 AM
Efren had an affair with Mindy McCready.

jimmy-leggs
04-30-2008, 06:50 AM
Efren had an affair with Mindy McCready.
Him too?:D LOL

mel
04-30-2008, 06:59 AM
Apple pays Efren 99 cents every time he listens to a song.

There is no "ctrl" button on Efren's computer. Efren is always in control.

Efren is the reason Waldo is hiding.

Efren doesn't sleep, he waits.

Efren can slam a revolving door.

Efren doesn't wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

When google doesn't know it calls Efren.

When Efren looks in the mirror nothing appears... there can never be a second Efren.


Brandon,

I love the way you came up with all of those quotes about Efren. In hindsight though, I think we can feel the effect of Efren's absence from the scenes nowadays. It feels like we are in the doldrums in the ocean of pool.

In case you're wondering how I know you, think of Batangas!!!

JohnPT
04-30-2008, 07:35 AM
Tiger Woods used to be a poolplayer until he met Efren.

Tiger is having all his teeth pulled out in honor of Efren.

Efren had more money than Tiger. He gave it all away because it was so distracting. Thats how dedicated he is.

Tiger is not as dedicated as Efren.

RunoutalloverU
06-14-2008, 03:33 AM
Some men write their name with pee in snow, efren does it in concrete

asn130
06-14-2008, 04:36 AM
Some men write their name with pee in snow, efren does it in concrete

this one is great.

Funny thing is i'm at work watching the Hong Kong challenge.

here's mine:
Jesus wears a wristband that says "WWED?"

skor
06-14-2008, 05:26 AM
Efren only plays pool to pass the time until he'll find a decent opponent to play chess....

Efren hasn't showed his full speed yet, he is still waiting for everybody to decide what is the game that pro tournaments should play and what are the rules...

Efren hunts Earl Strickland's dreams...

pocketspeed
06-14-2008, 07:09 AM
in an effort to explain scientifically why efren plays like god, leading geneticists examined his dna and instead of the normal double helix they were shocked to find that each of efren's cells contained two cues twisted together.

Luxury
06-14-2008, 12:42 PM
Efren Reyes shoots wing shots during exhibitions using the z bank.

cigjonser
06-14-2008, 04:00 PM
The Big Bang was the first rack broken by Efren.

Google's "I'm feeling lucky" button was added as an homage to Efren's "I got lucky." Before that, no one had heard of them.

Efren's first draw shot is still spinning.

Efren signs his name by masseing a cue ball coated in ink.

Efren once delivered a baby using nothing but right english.

When a shot doesn't go in, the cue ball apologizes to Efren for its lack of talent.

Black-Balled
03-23-2011, 07:07 AM
best thread ever.

Aaron_S
03-23-2011, 07:38 AM
On alien planets, many claim to have been abducted by an Efren.

Aaron

Black-Balled
03-23-2011, 07:47 AM
Efren once hit a one-pocket shot on accu-stats that Grady could not think up a word to describe.

effing great

cuesmith
03-23-2011, 08:10 AM
Not because he needed to, but just for kicks, Efren put the bite on Cliff Joiner for $1000.

donuteric
03-23-2011, 08:16 AM
Every time when efren plays, something strange happens.

NewStroke
03-23-2011, 08:19 AM
Every time when efren plays, something strange happens.

Strange to you, standard for Efren.

Aaron_S
03-24-2011, 09:58 AM
Efren's last two farts coincided perfectly with the ending of the last ice age and the beginning of the Medieval Warm Period. Coincidence?

Aaron

heit8
03-24-2011, 10:23 AM
it would sound more like

"pibe, pibe, pibe dol-lar poot long"

HAHA, This is a great thead.

Mt. Cheverest
03-24-2011, 10:40 AM
Efren didn't miss because he hit it bad, he missed because he hit it TOO good.

hunger strike
03-24-2011, 11:48 AM
Efren Reyes broke his spine and he still isn't handicapped

Q: How many Efren's does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, he shot them all out.

Efren could run a rack with a broom stick and then sweep the place up afterwards.

When E.F. REN speaks everyone listens. (some of you may be too young to remember that catch phrase)

That catch phrase would of course be for E.F. Hutton, who is now out of business because Efren won all the money from their investors!

hunger strike
03-24-2011, 11:50 AM
His parents wanted to spell his name Ef-RUN, but they were such good sports they didn't want to shark Efren's opponents before the match even starts...

hunger strike
03-24-2011, 12:17 PM
Efren's backspin won the burnout competition last year at Sturgis....

Efren's cueball is the only thing better than this post

HouTexPlayer
03-24-2011, 01:49 PM
Efren frowning cures cancer. Unfortunately he's never frowned.

Efren does not observe daylight savings time, the sun rises and sets when he tells it too.

Efren has a website, It's called the world wide web.

The dinosaurs aired Efren on a $100 set - they never made good on it.

JohnnyShakes
03-24-2011, 02:13 PM
Kamui chalk is actually composed of Efren's teeth.

bflojosh
03-25-2011, 12:39 AM
Every night after tucking him in, The Pearl's mommy checks Earl's closet for Efren Reyes

Robertduke
03-25-2011, 01:05 AM
Every night after tucking him in, The Pearl's mommy checks Earl's closet for Efren Reyes

hahahahahaha

FASTEDDIE427
03-25-2011, 07:34 AM
whats the difference between a misteak by efren and bigfoot?

Some people claim to have seen bigfoot.

aaaaaaaeeeeyyyyyoooooooooooo

Baby PacMan
03-25-2011, 08:20 AM
Charlie Sheen was winning...until he played Efren and ended up like this:

http://blog.anthonybeard.com/charlie-sheen-crazy-eyes.png

Bayawak
03-25-2011, 08:26 AM
it would sound more like

"pibe, pibe, pibe dol-lar poot long"

Brandon,

Man, that is soooo funny!!!! The letter F's pronunciation leaves a lot to be desired.....

JoeyInCali
03-25-2011, 08:35 AM
If you Google Efren Reyes, Google would crash.

pt109
03-25-2011, 08:36 AM
Efren left his cue on a table while he played a game of chess...
..it ran 8 racks, collected all the side bets, and put itself back in the case.

Efren got rid of the cue 'cause it gave Earl a jelly roll....:(

Jimbojim
03-25-2011, 01:17 PM
Every time you make a shot, the pool gods pay dividends to Efren because he can make it better than you.

Efren is so good that even when you win...you lose.

JoeyInCali
03-25-2011, 01:32 PM
Efren never gets a bad roll.
His opponents sometime get the Efren Roll.

schoonerboy
03-25-2011, 03:49 PM
Efren practices his breaks with an egg instead of a cue-ball. He has never once cracked a shell.

brandonspitler
04-02-2011, 03:49 PM
The term "Epic Fail", was invented to describe anything that ISN'T Efren's one-pocket game.

angldemn
08-12-2011, 08:04 AM
In nine ball Efren can pocket the ten on the break.

Black-Balled
08-12-2011, 08:18 AM
He runs out beacause there is nothing better left for him to do.

jimmy-leggs
08-12-2011, 10:48 AM
Efren once went to a doctor. The doctor asked him for his second opinion.

LOL,I just about pissed myself on this one.:killingme:

Mr. J
08-12-2011, 01:03 PM
"The Most Interesting Man in the World"...he goes to Efren for advice and guidance......

always has and always will...

:-)

sk8ordie
08-12-2011, 01:07 PM
Efren Reyes once got a blow up doll pregnant.

SL8_M8
08-12-2011, 05:57 PM
Willie and God were shooting pool-God ahead 10000 to 0- when Fats walked by and murmured "Who does He think He is - Effren?