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Reload this Page An unconventional story..how pool saved my life
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An unconventional story..how pool saved my life

Posted 01-23-2011 at 11:28 AM by DiamondGirl

I am here for my second blog. Woo Hoo on following through!

I didn't start playing pool until I was about 18. At the age of 18 my goal was to marry a handsome husband, and boy did I ever, he was the most handsome asshole! John was both physically and emotionally abusive, my life was constantly threatened and I was told I would die if I tried to leave him, and whoever was with me would die as well.

I used to cry daily for allowing myself to get into this predictament. Careful what you ask for, you just might get it!

Anyway we lived at poverty level income, and within walking distance was a pool room called "The Great Entertainer". They used to have a lunch special in which you could have a hot dog and a beer and 2 hours of pool for only $3.50. Now that fit in the budget and my addiction to pool began.

I don't know if you are aware of it or not but one of the first things that are cut off when you are in an abusive relationship is your ties to your family and friends..these are not allowed or more abuse will happen. So you go along with the program so that no one gets hurt. Without this lifeline it is damn near impossible to get out of the abusive trap you may have unintentionally set for yourself.

Anyway, I would walk to the pool room almost daily, it was the one thing I was allowed to do by myself. After about a year of this I became very good friends with those in the pool room, which now provided me with a lifeline of friends who provided much needed support, and a surprising inspiration on how to get myself out of my tragic situation. I remember Rick Chudy reiterating to me how I must get myself out of this situation..and then he asked me this.."have you ever heard of pool widows, or golf widows?" I replied no, and laughed, and asked him to explain to me what they were. He replied "sometimes men play so much pool or golf, that their wives leave them. And perhaps I could rid myself of my husband using those tactics." My heart lept with joy upon hearing this...what a BRILLIANT IDEA!

This was worth a shot. So I made a two year plan to make my husband not want me. When you are in a dangerous abusive relationship the idea of leaving must be the abuser's idea in order to be safe. I started playing in a pool league once a week in which my husband participated with me. We both dabbled in drugs a little at that time, so he would express an interest to stop by someones house for something or other and I would encourage him to go by himself...I would stay and play pool.
Then I played in 2 leagues a week, then 3, and within 2 years I was playing in 3 leagues and 2 tournaments a week. I had to give him all my money I earned waitressing when I got home daily. But I set aside $5 a day that he wasn't aware of for 2 years to build up an escape fund.

I had also bought myself a pool table at home that was a 4x8. He was starting to get a bit sick of all my pool playing...woo hoo..he has begun to not want me. I might achieve freedom from this relationship after all. I also kept books hidden under my carseat for years on how to get out of abusive relationships and live to tell about it. Then one night on my way out to go play pool he said "wait, what about dinner?" I said "Dinner? I've got to go play pool sorry." He said "we need to talk when you get home!"

I drove away thinking to myself "could this be it? Is my plan of making him a pool widow finally going to make him opt out of our marriage? Could I really have a new life and be safe and happy? Yes perhaps my crazy plan worked!

Well, lo and behold, when I got home he asked me to decide whether it was pool or marriage?
I was so excited..it worked, it worked, I could have jumped so high with joy I might take the roof out! But I could not allow him to see my joy, this had to be his idea....so I pretended to think about it for a few days. I then announced that I had made a decision..pool was my decision.

The look on his face was priceless....he then told me fine I could leave safely and take everything with me EXCEPT for the pool table. [I bought the pool table for myself as a birthday gift to myself 6 months earlier.]

I got out alive..without my pool table..but alive and happy and still continuing my love affair with the game to this day. The friendships I made in the poolroom over 20 years ago still exist in my life. I have grown and evolved so much from competing in pool, because as you all well know the lessons you learn in pool reflect the same answers for business and life as well.

I wouldn't change a thing in my past, God orchestrated it this way for a reason and I have received numerous blessings because of it!

So that is my story for today. Comments are appreciated.
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  1. Old Comment
    Sounds like you lived in CA. I used to go to Richard Chudy's house in Pleasant Hill to get new tips on my cue. That was 11 years ago when we lived in CA. I used to play at The Great Entertainer in San Mateo. We're in KY now.

    Did you make it out for Derby City Classic 2011. It's happening now near Louisville...don
    Posted 01-25-2011 at 12:02 PM by dondix dondix is offline
  2. Old Comment
    You betcha I am originally from California..The Great Entertainer I played at was in Concord and this was over 25 years ago. Rick Chudy was just starting to experiment with cues at this time. His work is amazing, love, love, love his cues.
    Tom Butler was my first coach back then, he is an extremely solid player and I will remain forever grateful for the time he donated to my game.
    Posted 01-27-2011 at 06:57 AM by DiamondGirl DiamondGirl is offline

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