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The Ogre of Palm Beach County

Posted 11-04-2017 at 08:41 AM by Nostroke
Updated 05-23-2018 at 10:45 AM by Nostroke

In my early years wintering in Fla, i rented an efficiency from an old guy in his 80’s named Chet. He was an ex engineer who had specialized in heat carrying pipes and their couplings. Brilliant guy who still had it in many ways but who also had a bit of dementia in other areas.

Evidently Chet had previously rented his place to a bunch of criminals who used his garage to store stolen furniture. When they were caught, after a chase, the neighborhood (a good one) was filled with police cars, sirens lights etc which didn't sit well with the folks in the area. BTW-It was an illegal efficiency which i had no inking about until the day i am describing here.

The locals soon found out that Chet was again illegally renting his apt (to me). Chet comes to me and tells me the situation-That the neighbors had met and were working on a plan to get me tossed out. This was well into the season and i was going to be in a bad situation if i had to move out suddenly. I had nowhere to go except to return north to a butt and feet freezing winter. Chet says he wants to go talk to the leader of the opposition and asks me to go along. I reluctantly agree… eventually.

We pile into his new looking 10 year old Cadillac with about 50K miles on it. He pulls out of his driveway, makes a right and drives 100 yds and turns into the very next house. WE go inside and the first thing he says to her in his best Master of Ceremonies voice.:
“Here is the OOOOOOOOOOOH-GUR (ogre) you all have been talking about…..-From FORDHAM UNIVERSITY Mr David L....!”

It was quite embarrassing and the lady of course couldn’t care less who i was and where i went to college, though she was very polite the whole time.

They went back and forth for about an hour with Chet’s main argument being he could have a friend stay with him anytime and she agreeing as long as they didn’t stay in the illegal efficiency but inside the main house with him. This was not an option for me as he was ¾ a hoarder and the place was gross. In his kitchen he had an open container of sugar cubes for his coffee that had an ant colony in there permanently. When i called this to his attention, he said "I just brush them off when i take a cube."

I nervously stayed in the efficiency the remainder of the season and thankfully no torch carriers showed up to oust and hang the OOOOOOOOOH-GUR!
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