What do you consider having a gambling problem?

m79a

m79a

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I come home from playing a few sets ysterday with a extra $120 in my pocket. My wife proceeds to tell me I have a gambling problem. I rarely shoot a game without something on the line. But I never play for big money. I have never taken money out of the bank to gamble with. I try to win enough gambling cheap sets to keep my self in enough gambling money and tournament entry fees. I play 2 to 3 tourneys a month, gamble 2 to 3 days a week, and have not gotten a dollar out of the atm for a tournament entry fee since November. I never have a large bank roll $200 to $300 but it keeps me going. Wouldn't you think she'd be happy about that? My rant for the day.
 
hang-the-9

hang-the-9

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
In pool, I think a gambling problem would be if you refuse to play for "funzies" or if you do play for nothing, you just call it in and not really play your top game.

I'm talking about those that don't make a living with pool. If your only income is what you can make playing money games or in tournaments I can see someone like that saying "no thanks" to a friendly race.

Overall I think we all know what a real gambling problem is, every trip is a plan to go to Vegas, not keeping track of losses vs wins (saying how you won $500 that time when you spent $1,500 in loses to get that), keep saying "my luck will change" "one more roll or hand", etc...
 
Johnnyt

Johnnyt

Burn all jump cues
Silver Member
Perhaps the wife isn't talking about money in what she feels is a gambling problem. It could be all the time you are away from her and the kids if you have any. Johnnyt
 
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m79a

m79a

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Johnnyt said:
Perhaps the wife isn't taking about money in what she feels is a gambling problem. It could be all the time you are away from her and the kids if you have any. Johnnyt
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No kids at home and I get off work before she does and I am generally home from playing when she gets home. But she does despise the tournaments I play in because if you get in the money it will be 4 or 5 in the morning when I get home. i invite her to go but she won't because of the smoke and I can understand that.
 
dabarbr

dabarbr

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Johnnyt said:
Perhaps the wife isn't taking about money in what she feels is a gambling problem. It could be all the time you are away from her and the kids if you have any. Johnnyt
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You might be right Johnnyt. Later in life he might agree with his wife and regret the missed time with his family. I know too well.
 
Ken_4fun

Ken_4fun

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
IMO, if you are winning, you don't have a gambling problem.

Its only when you are losing that you have a problem.....;)

Ken
 
Johnnyt

Johnnyt

Burn all jump cues
Silver Member
dabarbr said:
You might be right Johnnyt. Later in life he might agree with his wife and regret the missed time with his family. I know too well.
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Me too. I am lucky to have a wife that stayed with me for 50 years and putting up with all the time away from home and a lot of other things. Johnnyt
 
krupa

krupa

The Dream Operator
Silver Member
How often do you come home with less than you started with?

How easy is it to pull yourself away or just say 'no' to an offer because you want to get home?

If it really is a self-sustaining hobby then it's probably not a problem. But then again, we only have your word on this. I've known plenty of alcoholics who, if you ask them, "only have a couple drinks" or "never over-do it."

The other way to look at it is that your wife feels like she needs to say something to you. Therefore, your gambling is a problem on some level. Maybe she'd just like you to be home more or maybe she has a compulsive gambler in her family somewhere and she doesn't want you to go down that road.

In any event, you shouldn't be asking the Internet. Talk to your wife!
 
zpele

zpele

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
The definition of addiction is when you continue to do something even though it adversely affects other aspects of your life that you care about. Losing or making money at pool isn't the issue it just turns the addiction uglier.

That being said I think we are all guilty of some form of addiction. It all comes down to how we manage it and how we balance the rest of our lives so that the addiction doesn't affect it.

The hard truth for most of us on this forum is that we are likely addicted to pool. The game breeds addiction if you want to get good and sometimes it is very good for us to take a step away for the game to reassess what is important.
 
haystj

haystj

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Hey, if losing the money you are gambling with does not have a negative impact on your life there is no problem (IMO),,... Your wife found an extra $120 and asked you where you got it?? I would have responded that you have been really good at not spending your normal allotment this month, and left it alone.
Sounds like you don't have a gambling problem,,, just get better at hiding your cash and be careful what you share with your wife.. (Disclaimer: I am on my third wife)
 
sbpoolleague

sbpoolleague

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Lost in Translation

You don't have a gambling problem. You have an "inability to decipher wife complaint" problem. There's no pill for that. Affliction comes with the Y chromosome. Symptoms start to abate after 20 years of marriage, or when your start to lose your hearing.
 
B

bdorman

Dead money
Silver Member
1. When you have no interest in playing just for enjoyment.

2. When your playing time - or money - is causing problems in your life outside of pool.

3. When you are inclined to bet on other chance outcomes such as other people's matches, casino gambling, horses, lottery tickets, etc.

4. When you think about gambling even when you're away from it.

5. When you can't say "no" to a bet.

6. When you gamble with the intent of "recouping your losses."

7. When you gamble with money set aside for other purposes (rent, bills, etc.).
 
F

flyrv9

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Well if you have to ask...... That being said, it sounds like you do have a problem with your wife. Perhaps a compromise would help. Tone down your playing a bit - or find a smoke free pool hall or tournament. One of the places I play has a smoke free section. In a tourney a few weeks back I played a guy in the smoke free section because he could not take the smoking side where most of the matches were played - good idea I thought.
 
C

CocoboloCowboy

Cowboys are my hero's
Silver Member
I use to work with a guy named Cliff, he was a pony chaser. He was addicted to going to the horse track, and lets be fair was not one who cleaned up at the track.

He had a wife, and two son I think were under 10. One day I was giving him a ride home from work, as he rode with me intermittently.

Payday was Monday, it was Friday. He asked if I could loan him $30.00 for the weekend so his wife could buy groceries for the family.

I know Santa Anita was running, and I do not to this day know why I asked if Cliff planed on going to Santa Anita that weekend.

He replied yes, and I said with what. He said Gambling Fund Money, I replied that he need to put his family ahead of the horses, and NO I would not loan him the $30.00 for food. If he had a Gambling Fund

We arrived where I dropped off Cliff, he said nothing the rest of the ride to the drop off point. I do not know if Cliff went to the track that weekend, as we never spoke again at work.

Cliff IMHO had a real gambling problem.
 
T

tuda

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
You may have a gambling problem, and you may not have one, there is a lot of details missing from your story.

have you ever canceled plans with your wife because you were playing pool?

do you spend more time at the poolhall than you do with your wife?

when was the last time you guys went and did something just the 2 of you?

it sounds a lot to me like she's more worried about you not spending time with her than she is with you playing pool.

I was on the road playing about 40 years ago, I beat a guy out of $600 and as we were finishing his children came in dressed like orphans in bad need of new clothes and shoes, I thought for a second that maybe it was a setup but they didn't make a scene, they were dragging their dad home with them... that $600 I took from that guy was way more than enough to properly dress his children and put food on the table for them... I asked the bartender and he told me he had a very bad gambling problem and was known around town for putting the rent money up at all times... the pool player in me wanted to say that was his problem, but the human being told me I couldn't do that, so I stopped the kids and gave them the money and pretty much stopped playing at that point... I only started coming around when my nephew took up an interest in the game, and to this day I haven't been able to get the image of those children out of my head.

I said all that to say this, there isn't many out there that have gambling problems that can admit it, or even notice they have one... if you find yourself passing up opportunities with family or friends to go to the poolroom and gamble, you have a problem... 40 years from now no one is going to care if you ran 2 racks of 9 ball, or ran an 8 an out for 10 bucks, but time well spent with family and friends will be remembered.
 
cleary

cleary

Honestly, I'm a liar.
Silver Member
hang-the-9 said:
In pool, I think a gambling problem would be if you refuse to play for "funzies" or if you do play for nothing, you just call it in and not really play your top game.
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I strongly disagree. I wouldn't play poker (seriously) unless I were playing for real money and I do really enjoy the game of poker. I wouldn't consider that a gambling problem.

Just the same, I wouldn't enjoy drinking NA Beer and I wouldn't consider the 2-3 drinks per week I have a drinking problem.

A problem is just that, a problem. When your family, job, health are at risk, it's becoming a problem. The OP has no problem if what he's describing is true.
 
m79a

m79a

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
tuda said:
You may have a gambling problem, and you may not have one, there is a lot of details missing from your story.

have you ever canceled plans with your wife because you were playing pool?

do you spend more time at the poolhall than you do with your wife?

when was the last time you guys went and did something just the 2 of you?

it sounds a lot to me like she's more worried about you not spending time with her than she is with you playing pool.

I was on the road playing about 40 years ago, I beat a guy out of $600 and as we were finishing his children came in dressed like orphans in bad need of new clothes and shoes, I thought for a second that maybe it was a setup but they didn't make a scene, they were dragging their dad home with them... that $600 I took from that guy was way more than enough to properly dress his children and put food on the table for them... I asked the bartender and he told me he had a very bad gambling problem and was known around town for putting the rent money up at all times... the pool player in me wanted to say that was his problem, but the human being told me I couldn't do that, so I stopped the kids and gave them the money and pretty much stopped playing at that point... I only started coming around when my nephew took up an interest in the game, and to this day I haven't been able to get the image of those children out of my head.

I said all that to say this, there isn't many out there that have gambling problems that can admit it, or even notice they have one... if you find yourself passing up opportunities with family or friends to go to the poolroom and gamble, you have a problem... 40 years from now no one is going to care if you ran 2 racks of 9 ball, or ran an 8 an out for 10 bucks, but time well spent with family and friends will be remembered.
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Never to the first question
No to the 2nd.
The third is the crazy part. We have been married 21 years and we do absolutely everything together except pool. I only play tourneys twice a month because they run so late.

To another statement somebody else made about a non smoking room. There is no such thing within a 2 hour radius of where I live. I live on the KY-TN border. They are still rather fond of tobacco here lol. As long as a place has an age limit of 21 and over smoking is allowed.
 
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T

tuda

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
well if you are telling the truth, then the only answer I can give you is she doesn't understand gambling... my first wife was the same way, and she never did understand it, we eventually came to an agreement that I wouldn't freak out on her for how much she paid for a pair of shoes, and she didn't freak out about me playing pool... that lasted all of about a week.

m79a said:
We have been married 21 years and we do absolutely everything together except pool. I only play tourneys twice a month because they run so late.
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or maybe its the fact that she doesn't like you doing something that doesn't include her... some women are like that.
 
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maldito

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
When you start owing people money , borrowing money and you keep on gambling regardless - you have a problem.
 
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