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FranCrimi
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01-16-2019, 05:34 PM

It sounds like performance anxiety. If it's that, then you're right ---- familiarity helps. The key is to not attach so much importance to the event. Also, the idea of being judged by others can make you feel that way.

I remember the first match I ever played in a pro tournament. Luck of the draw --- I drew the great Jean Balukas. To make matters worse, a TV crew was there to film highlights of her first match. Not only was I going to have to play Jean, but I was going to have to do it in front of TV cameras and an audience that Jean always drew.

I was shaking so badly, I didn't think I'd make it through the match. We were playing 14.1 and I 3-fouled early on during the match, sending my score into negative numbers. I managed to get my score barely in the black before Jean made it to 50.

I remember calling my parents to tell them I'd be home late. My father asked where I was. I said, "Just watch the 11 o'clock news on channel 7."

The segment was mainly about Jean but they showed me pocketing a few balls. It looked like I never missed a shot. I started to laugh at how surreal it was. I looked totally calm on camera, yet I knew how much I was shaking. That's when I realized that people probably weren't seeing me the way I thought they were. A lot of it was in my own head.


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01-16-2019, 08:19 PM

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Originally Posted by FranCrimi View Post
It sounds like performance anxiety. If it's that, then you're right ---- familiarity helps. The key is to not attach so much importance to the event. Also, the idea of being judged by others can make you feel that way.

I remember the first match I ever played in a pro tournament. Luck of the draw --- I drew the great Jean Balukas. To make matters worse, a TV crew was there to film highlights of her first match. Not only was I going to have to play Jean, but I was going to have to do it in front of TV cameras and an audience that Jean always drew.

I was shaking so badly, I didn't think I'd make it through the match. We were playing 14.1 and I 3-fouled early on during the match, sending my score into negative numbers. I managed to get my score barely in the black before Jean made it to 50.

I remember calling my parents to tell them I'd be home late. My father asked where I was. I said, "Just watch the 11 o'clock news on channel 7."

The segment was mainly about Jean but they showed me pocketing a few balls. It looked like I never missed a shot. I started to laugh at how surreal it was. I looked totally calm on camera, yet I knew how much I was shaking. That's when I realized that people probably weren't seeing me the way I thought they were. A lot of it was in my own head.
This is great, one of my favorite posts ftom you!


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01-17-2019, 06:30 AM

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Originally Posted by FranCrimi View Post
It sounds like performance anxiety. If it's that, then you're right ---- familiarity helps. The key is to not attach so much importance to the event. Also, the idea of being judged by others can make you feel that way.

I remember the first match I ever played in a pro tournament. Luck of the draw --- I drew the great Jean Balukas. To make matters worse, a TV crew was there to film highlights of her first match. Not only was I going to have to play Jean, but I was going to have to do it in front of TV cameras and an audience that Jean always drew.

I was shaking so badly, I didn't think I'd make it through the match. We were playing 14.1 and I 3-fouled early on during the match, sending my score into negative numbers. I managed to get my score barely in the black before Jean made it to 50.

I remember calling my parents to tell them I'd be home late. My father asked where I was. I said, "Just watch the 11 o'clock news on channel 7."

The segment was mainly about Jean but they showed me pocketing a few balls. It looked like I never missed a shot. I started to laugh at how surreal it was. I looked totally calm on camera, yet I knew how much I was shaking. That's when I realized that people probably weren't seeing me the way I thought they were. A lot of it was in my own head.
Thanks Fran. As always your help is certainly valued. Yes I think those are the issues. On top of the normal self imposed pressure it doesn't help that I have a very critical playing partner. It doesn't matter how poorly he plays but he is just watching for something he can "correct" in my play. He has the ability to immediately forget he just missed 5 simple shots in a row but will remember one I missed a week later.

I think you are spot on in your analyse. It especially helped to hear you had the shakes too. Using the conscious mind to do all of the things you suggest is what I attempt. The sub conscious seems to have a mind of its own and it surprises me when it pops up. Not nervous under highest performance test yet shaking like crazy over a little local event.

Thank you for your help. As always I really do appreciate all the advice offered. A lot of the time it helps just to hear from others, things I already suspect, to be true. Confirmation itself helps ingrain the concepts. And other times something totally unexpected pops up and adds to the perspective. I really love these conversations, especially when they are not contentious.

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01-17-2019, 06:36 AM

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This is great, one of my favorite posts ftom you!
It is really nice to see someone admit they have their own weaknesses at times too. It is hard to be humble but a desirable personality trait. I LOVE the look on Efren's face when he misses an easy shot. He SMILES. It is really an endearing personality trait. I also see it as real strength. It shows he has the right perspective on what he is doing. I wish I could be so composed.
  
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01-17-2019, 06:57 AM

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Originally Posted by skipbales View Post
It is really nice to see someone admit they have their own weaknesses at times too. It is hard to be humble but a desirable personality trait. I LOVE the look on Efren's face when he misses an easy shot. He SMILES. It is really an endearing personality trait. I also see it as real strength. It shows he has the right perspective on what he is doing. I wish I could be so composed.
I saw a funny tshirt with Efren on it. The caption read....

"Just be yourself. (Unless you can be Efren, then be Efren.)"



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01-17-2019, 07:39 AM

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I saw a funny tshirt with Efren on it. The caption read....

"Just be yourself. (Unless you can be Efren, then be Efren.)"

Now that is FUNNY. I am going to have to get one to remind myself.
  
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01-17-2019, 08:11 AM

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Now that is FUNNY. I am going to have to get one to remind myself.
I just ordered a custom shirt with Efren's Win or Lose photo and that caption. Soo cool. Thanks for the idea.
  
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01-17-2019, 08:48 AM

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I just ordered a custom shirt with Efren's Win or Lose photo and that caption. Soo cool. Thanks for the idea.
You're welcome! It's a funny shirt. But, seriously, one of the most effective ways to help reduce emotional barriers in this game is to be comfortable in your own skin. Smile when you screw up, as if you're amazed it really happened. This helps keep your emotions in check, and it shows your opponent that you don't fall apart on a fluke mistake, instead you brush it off and stand tall. Having even one hothead on your team, one player that has no control of emotions, which means a low EQ (Emotional Intelligence), can easily get under your skin, not to mention the negative effect it has on the attitude of the entire team. I like playing against hotheads because I know one mistake has the potential of sending them into a downward spiral. Or one great safety or runout on my end can trigger an emotional meltdown that guarantees they have no chance to win.


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01-17-2019, 10:01 AM

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You're welcome! It's a funny shirt. But, seriously, one of the most effective ways to help reduce emotional barriers in this game is to be comfortable in your own skin. Smile when you screw up, as if you're amazed it really happened. This helps keep your emotions in check, and it shows your opponent that you don't fall apart on a fluke mistake, instead you brush it off and stand tall. Having even one hothead on your team, one player that has no control of emotions, which means a low EQ (Emotional Intelligence), can easily get under your skin, not to mention the negative effect it has on the attitude of the entire team. I like playing against hotheads because I know one mistake has the potential of sending them into a downward spiral. Or one great safety or runout on my end can trigger an emotional meltdown that guarantees they have no chance to win.
Yes. That is exactly why I ordered the shirt, to remind myself of the attitude I wish to maintain. Pool should not even be a factor in my life. At my level it is purely a hobby and if I don't enjoy playing what good is it? Laughing at my mistakes is my new mantra.
  
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01-17-2019, 11:10 AM

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Originally Posted by skipbales View Post
Yes. That is exactly why I ordered the shirt, to remind myself of the attitude I wish to maintain. Pool should not even be a factor in my life. At my level it is purely a hobby and if I don't enjoy playing what good is it? Laughing at my mistakes is my new mantra.
You'll find out that you play better when you enjoy playing. I play golf on occassion, typically with good golfers that play in the 70's and low 80's. I play in the mid 80's, so naturally I'm making a few mistakes here and there. I used to get pissed every time I screwed up a shot, but once I finally accepted the reality of my game, my lack of practice, how very little I play (5 or 6 rounds per year), it became easy to just smile and nod when I mess up, because I now realize at my level I'm supposed to mess up.

About 25% of all golfers actual score below 90 consistently. Less than 2 or 3% score below 80. These stats put me in the top 25%!! So considering how little I play, I have no reason to get bent out of shape on a bad drive or a double bogey. And so now I find myself just enjoying the game, which allows me to play more freely, and I play better! I got my all-time best score last year....83. I played 6 or 7 rounds of golf throughout the year, typically shooting between 85 and 90, played in the rain once and shot a 104. I was disappointed, and soaking wet, but not pissed. The 83 was great, it was fun and it made my day. The 104 was terrible, but it was also fun, and it didn't ruin my day.

I think you're on the right track to handling your emotions. Put everything into its proper place, looking at everything from a realistic perspective, and enjoy doing what you like to do.


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01-17-2019, 11:33 AM

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You'll find out that you play better when you enjoy playing. I play golf on occassion, typically with good golfers that play in the 70's and low 80's. I play in the mid 80's, so naturally I'm making a few mistakes here and there. I used to get pissed every time I screwed up a shot, but once I finally accepted the reality of my game, my lack of practice, how very little I play (5 or 6 rounds per year), it became easy to just smile and nod when I mess up, because I now realize at my level I'm supposed to mess up.

About 25% of all golfers actual score below 90 consistently. Less than 2 or 3% score below 80. These stats put me in the top 25%!! So considering how little I play, I have no reason to get bent out of shape on a bad drive or a double bogey. And so now I find myself just enjoying the game, which allows me to play more freely, and I play better! I got my all-time best score last year....83. I played 6 or 7 rounds of golf throughout the year, typically shooting between 85 and 90, played in the rain once and shot a 104. I was disappointed, and soaking wet, but not pissed. The 83 was great, it was fun and it made my day. The 104 was terrible, but it was also fun, and it didn't ruin my day.

I think you're on the right track to handling your emotions. Put everything into its proper place, looking at everything from a realistic perspective, and enjoy doing what you like to do.
Good analogy. I play golf once or twice a week and shoot in the 80's. I have shot exactly 80 many times at my Championship level local course but never broke 80 there. Going in to 17 one time all I had to do to break 80 was go double triple and I went triple triple. I guess that tells you how much my emotions come into my play. These days anything under 90 feels pretty good and anything under 100 and I still don't sweat it. I used to drive the ball 300 now 240 from the senior tees is good for me. Age is such a factor. I have only made one Eagle in the last 3 years and that was quite a day.

As an aside, I see many people get mad when they mess up. That is not my emotion. I get disappointed in myself but don't feel that hot kind of anger. No throwing clubs or even cussing. I am more likely to say "Oh no, did you see what I just did? Sighhh." Even though I am competitive I have been told I just don't have that "killer instinct". That's ok, I am not looking to kill anything anyway.
  
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02-07-2019, 03:42 PM

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Good analogy. I play golf once or twice a week and shoot in the 80's. I have shot exactly 80 many times at my Championship level local course but never broke 80 there. Going in to 17 one time all I had to do to break 80 was go double triple and I went triple triple. I guess that tells you how much my emotions come into my play. These days anything under 90 feels pretty good and anything under 100 and I still don't sweat it. I used to drive the ball 300 now 240 from the senior tees is good for me. Age is such a factor. I have only made one Eagle in the last 3 years and that was quite a day.

As an aside, I see many people get mad when they mess up. That is not my emotion. I get disappointed in myself but don't feel that hot kind of anger. No throwing clubs or even cussing. I am more likely to say "Oh no, did you see what I just did? Sighhh." Even though I am competitive I have been told I just don't have that "killer instinct". That's ok, I am not looking to kill anything anyway.
Sounds familiar to me.

At one time my best round was 78. I went out one day by myself and I was even par through 16 holes. 17 was a 240 yard par 3 downhill. Pin was in the back. I hit a 3 iron and and landed on the green about 50 feet short of the hole. Knocked my first putt off the back of the green. Then my chip shot went about 15 feet past the pin. Then three putted from there for triple bogey 6. 18 was a shortish par 5 at around 530. I snap hooked my tee shot OB. Next drive I hit around 280 down the middle of the fairway. Then I hit a 3 wood to just short of the green. Chipped up and two putted for double bogey to shoot 77.

I worked at an executive course(par 65)for a couple years. I normally shot between 67 and 71. I had the skills to play better than my scores showed. Hard to not think about future possible scores and I would just butcher a hole.

My pool game is pretty much the same way. I will run out easily over and over and then miss with ball in hand or rattle an 8 ball. It all comes down to confidence and only doing what needs to be done with no thought of the past or future. I still struggle with it. Hoping one day I can put the pieces of the puzzle together and my game will jump.
  
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02-07-2019, 04:53 PM

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Sounds familiar to me.

At one time my best round was 78. I went out one day by myself and I was even par through 16 holes. 17 was a 240 yard par 3 downhill. Pin was in the back. I hit a 3 iron and and landed on the green about 50 feet short of the hole. Knocked my first putt off the back of the green. Then my chip shot went about 15 feet past the pin. Then three putted from there for triple bogey 6. 18 was a shortish par 5 at around 530. I snap hooked my tee shot OB. Next drive I hit around 280 down the middle of the fairway. Then I hit a 3 wood to just short of the green. Chipped up and two putted for double bogey to shoot 77.

I worked at an executive course(par 65)for a couple years. I normally shot between 67 and 71. I had the skills to play better than my scores showed. Hard to not think about future possible scores and I would just butcher a hole.

My pool game is pretty much the same way. I will run out easily over and over and then miss with ball in hand or rattle an 8 ball. It all comes down to confidence and only doing what needs to be done with no thought of the past or future. I still struggle with it. Hoping one day I can put the pieces of the puzzle together and my game will jump.
I may have stumbled on to something I hadn't even considered. On league night a friend comes over and we practice all day. He and I both drink coffee continuously Last week I played poorly, missed a shot in each of 2 games I would not expect to miss. I was shaking a lot and could not focus. I got home at 11 but could not sleep until 2 am. I woke up at 5 am and felt terrible. I could not sleep all day. As odd as it seems I may simply be overdosing on caffeine on league night.

I have often commented "I don't understand why I shake so much. The games are not even important." Duhhhh maybe 3 pots of coffee could have something to do with it.
  
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