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Snl - 06-29-2010, 06:54 PM

Live, Its Saturday Night

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Obama Joke-O-Rama
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Obama Joke-O-Rama - 06-30-2010, 05:22 AM

Obama Joke-O-Rama

John Derbyshire
Thursday, July 17, 2008

OK, now the "Knock, knock" joke.

"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"Barack Hussein Obama."
"Barack Hussein Obama who?"
[The "Hussein" can be omitted if necessary to improve the punch line, or for contestants who are actually members of the Obama campaign staff.]

Suggested punch lines:

[A lot of cynics out there] That depends. Is this the primary or the general election?

Knock, knock … Who’s there? … Jeremiah Wright … Jeremiah Wright who? … Aw, come on, Barack, you know who I am!

[Several of this one] Barack who's-sayin'-I'm-a-Muslim? Obama.

[… along with this one] Barack who's-sayin'-whatever-he-must-to-get-your-vote Obama.

"Barack Hussein Obama."
"That’s inflammatory."

[Then, in a follow-up, this punchline for the prisoner joke:] The lifer explains: "We just don’t care for inflammatory knock-knock jokes."

Barack Hussein Obama who? Well my dear sir, perhaps 300 hours of mandatory Community Service will refresh your memory. Take him away!

[Some groaners, inevitably] Barack Hussein Obama's brother, Sweet Home Al Obama. (Cue Leonard Skynnard music in background).


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Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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Obama Joke-O-Rama - 06-30-2010, 05:27 AM

Obama Joke-O-Rama

John Derbyshire
Thursday, July 18, 2008

Sorry about the delay here. I let myself in for a bit more than I bargained for, and Jonah's got the research assistants all busy shelling peanuts for Cosmo. On to the priest-rabbi-imam joke.

A priest, a rabbi, an imam, and Barack Obama are in a plane when the engines fail and the plane begins to go down. Opening the emergency locker, they find only three parachutes.

This was obviously challenging for readers. We did our best, but the general standard here was, I am bound to say, lackluster. A distressingly large number of readers were more keen to make an anti-imam joke than an anti-Obama one. What's everyone got against imams? I can't imagine. Sample:

The priest says, "I will forgo a parachute, out of Christian sacrifice for others." The rabbi says, "To please G-d, I will forgo a parachute." The imam smirks and says to Obama, "Get a load of those idiots. This is why we will win in the end." Grabbing all three parachutes and leaping, Obama says, "Say hello to your 72 virgins for me."

There was also a sub-genre in the Islamophobic category, playing on Wonder Boy's fear of being tagged a Muslim:

Obama grabs all three and straps them on. "What about me?" asks the priest. "I'm leaving you Hope," says Barack. "And me?" asks the rabbi. "To you I leave Change." "And what about me?" implores the imam. Jumping from the plane and pulling three ripcords, Obama replies, "Do I know you?"

The winner, just because it was so nicely mean-spirited (mean-spiritedness wins my heart every time).

The priest says: "I have been celibate all my life, but I recently fell in love with a wonderful woman and I told her that I would leave the priesthood and ask her to be my wife. Please let me have a parachute so I can fulfil my promise to her." The rabbi says: "Well, I have been happily married for twenty years and it would be a tragedy if I died without being able to say goodbye to her, so I deserve a parachute." The imam says: "Well, I have been married for forty years to the most loving and supportive woman in the world. She has been my rock and inspiration and I could not bear the thought of her grief at my death, so I deserve a parachute." The three then turn to Obama: "What about you?" they ask. After thinking for a minute, Obama responds: "I too have a wife. You guys take the parachutes."


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Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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06-30-2010, 07:37 AM

Q. Why did Jimmy Carter vote for Barack Obama?
A. Because Jimmy didn't want to be the worst President in history.


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06-30-2010, 07:38 AM

Q. Why won’t Obama laugh at himself?
A. Because it would be racist.


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Jimmy Kimmel - 06-30-2010, 10:11 AM

Jimmy Kimmel goes to black barbershop to see how to properly joke on Barack Obama

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Obama Calls Evil Dictators to Set Up Meeting
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Obama Calls Evil Dictators to Set Up Meeting - 06-30-2010, 10:29 AM

Obama Calls Evil Dictators to Set Up Meeting

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Google Search for Obama is a Joke - 06-30-2010, 10:35 AM

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06-30-2010, 10:53 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPrd0...eature=related

An interview.


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Toon - 06-30-2010, 02:33 PM







I am 3% Neanderthal and 97% Conservative.

Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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Toon - 06-30-2010, 02:39 PM








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Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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Short Ones - 06-30-2010, 05:37 PM

Q: Why are there so few real Barack Obama jokes?
A: Most of them are true stories.

***

Have you ever noticed how Obama thinks nothing is impossible as long as somebody else has to pay for it?

***

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average Obama voter.


***

Q. What does the Obama Messiah say when someone sneezes?
A. I bless you.

***


I am 3% Neanderthal and 97% Conservative.

Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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So Pretty - 06-30-2010, 05:40 PM

Obama is so pretty that Bill Clinton wants to intern for him

Obama is so pretty that his supporters think that he's smart

Obama is so pretty that he won't ride in Ted Kennedy's car

Obama is so pretty that he would be a 10 if his Daddy owned a liquor store

Obama is so pretty that he would even look good in a Hillary pantsuit

Obama is so pretty that when he goes to Iraq he has to wear a Burka


I am 3% Neanderthal and 97% Conservative.

Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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Beer is Better
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Beer is Better - 06-30-2010, 05:42 PM

Why Beer is Better Than Obama.

Beer is better than Obama because you're sad if there's no more beer.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and whine don't mix.

Beer is better than Obama because beer has a pretty good head on it.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't mind if you cling to your beer.

Beer is better than Obama because cold beer disproves the myth of man made global warming.

Beer is better than Obama because imported beer doesn't pretend to be domestic.

Beer is better than Obama because beer doesn't promise you a free lunch.

Beer is better than Obama because beer's ingredients known for sure.

Beer is better than Obama because beer is as American as apple pie.

Beer is better than Obama because beer comes with an expiration date.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and NASCAR go together.

Beer is better than Obama because you're not afraid to turn your back on a beer.

Beer is better than Obama because an empty beer is better than an empty suit.

Beer is better than Obama because beer minds its own business.

Beer is better than Obama because beer and coke don't mix.


I am 3% Neanderthal and 97% Conservative.

Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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All this economy needs is 600,000 more government employees.
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All this economy needs is 600,000 more government employees. - 06-30-2010, 05:46 PM

All this economy needs is 600,000 more government employees.




I am 3% Neanderthal and 97% Conservative.

Edmund Burke, Reflections on the Revolution in France
Richard Feynman,The Feynman Lectures on Physics
Roger Penrose, The Road To Reality & The Emperor's New Mind
Karl Popper, An Open Society and Its Enemies, & The Logic of Scientific Discovery
Norman Davies, Europe: A History



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