Getting the emotions out of my game

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Almost everyone has experienced "choking" of some type whether they admit it or not. I have learned it is a huge part of my game. Not choking so much as just talking to myself or being nervous over a shot, second guessing. I know it is my sub conscious that makes the shot but I can't always get my conscious mind out of the way.

It seems so odd to me that I get nervous for what my conscious mind says doesn't even matter. Like most people I have a natural desire to win vs. lose and make a shot vs. miss it. Why this creates a shaking or nervous reaction in a match that has almost NO impact on my life, or even my standing or my team standing, is a mystery.

Here are some things I have tried and my impression of what works so far. Maybe you can add ideas or comments to help me and others as well.

1. Positive thinking and talk. Worthless to me and I have not seen it play out well for others. It is more like bragging. The one who says how great they are going to do something ultimately performs much the worst. I actually hate it when my teammates do it. It seems to have the reverse effect. They set a bar so high they can't make it and put even more pressure on themselves.

2. A standard pre-shot routine. Good and helps me make sure my mechanics don't cause a miss. But doesn't do much to overcome the shakes.

3. Focusing on staying down and watching the ball go in the pocket. Good but on a bad day I forget and jump up.

4. Medications. Some players believe they play better drunk. That is probably possible for some, not for good players but for some bar players. I have learned that anti-anxiety medication taken way before a match can help me when I am in a match hours later. The problem is it is such a balance. Too little no help, too much and I simply don't care enough to even focus.

5. Practice. This has turned out to be the best elixir of all on all fronts. It has taken me a couple of years but I have hit so many balls and made so many shots I get down on a shot and just don't picture how I am going to miss it. Even on hard shots I realize my percentage, load that into my strategy and don't fret if I miss a shot I am only 60-40 to make to begin with.

6. Getting mad at your self. I have one friend who gets "dominate". He thinks he can "will" himself to play well. It is funny to watch but he speeds around the table, calls his next ball as soon as he pockets a ball and marches around. He is showing the world what a great player he is. In reality he is trying to show himself. It only works sometimes and usually after the match has been determined and his game doesn't matter any more and is a result of a weak performance to that point.

7. Getting Even. I have another teammate who also thinks he can just "decide" to win. He is motivated by the other team. If they wish him bad luck or make an 8 ball break and celebrate or celebrate almost anything. He keys off that and gets a determined "I'll show them mind set". It is like he normally doesn't play all that hard but if they say the wrong thing it motivates him to strike back. He also likes to be the underdog. If he wins, he tells me later what he heard one of the players say, like, "I wonder who we will play next after we win this match", so "I just ran out on them". Again, like he can do it at will and when he doesn't it is just because he isn't really motivated.


I just played in our State finals and did the best I have ever done. I had the second highest match average of about 150 players. I scored 29.36 out of a basic round where 30 is max (3 ten point games alternate break) although an 8 ball break is 1 extra point and a break and run is 5 extra. The top guy averaged 30.5. Everyone else was way below me. I shot 7.66 balls per match above my all time average and was never nervous. This was a first for me. I did take a very low dose anti-anxiety drug in the morning but mostly I was comfortable with what I was doing and when I did miss it didn't draw on me.

I suppose it is all about confidence and see people achieve it in many ways.

Many years ago Ronnie Allen challenged a bunch of "hustlers" in a late night pool hall to play for $1500 at $100 a game. That was a lot of money in those days. They said "why do we have to play for $100 why not $20". Ronnie said "I know I can make a ball for $100. I don't know if you can.".
 

BC21

https://www.playpoolbetter.com
Gold Member
Silver Member
There's a great little book titled "Emotional Intelligence 2.0", by Travis Bradberry. If your not much of a reader, then stick solid with numbers 2, 3, and 5 in your post. Follow those with utmost strictness, no exceptions.

Above all, enjoy playing the game. Just having fun with what you're doing is an excellent way to keep your emotions under control. When you screw up, spend no more than about 3 seconds analyzing your error and then forget about it. The best players in the world still make mistakes, so don't expect to never make a mistake, and don't be shocked or stupefied when it happens. Laugh it off and move on. I've seen Efren do this many times -- smile at a mistake like you're embarrased it happened, then it's over.

It's embarrassing to screw up. But there are two paths to follow when it happens: You can emotionally beat yourself up and increase the likelihood of causing more mistakes, or you can shrug your shoulders and laugh it off like it was a rare occurrence that happens to the best of us.
 

goettlicher

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Please take this reply as a serious solution.

I, Randyg, do not play pool! I am way too emotional at times.

With the suggestion from my Sports Phycologist, I have adopted
a playing personna. "Blackie" does all the playing!
Blackie doesn't care who you are or where you are, he just plays pool!!!!!!
Blackie is a stong cold emotionless *****!

randyg
 

BC21

https://www.playpoolbetter.com
Gold Member
Silver Member
Please take this reply as a serious solution.

I, Randyg, do not play pool! I am way too emotional at times.

With the suggestion from my Sports Phycologist, I have adopted
a playing personna. "Blackie" does all the playing!
Blackie doesn't care who you are or where you are, he just plays pool!!!!!!
Blackie is a stong cold emotionless *****!

randyg

Lol....this is great! Adapt an alternate personality. Might even be an effective approach for relationships, work, poker, etc...
 

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
There's a great little book titled "Emotional Intelligence 2.0", by Travis Bradberry. If your not much of a reader, then stick solid with numbers 2, 3, and 5 in your post. Follow those with utmost strictness, no exceptions.

Above all, enjoy playing the game. Just having fun with what you're doing is an excellent way to keep your emotions under control. When you screw up, spend no more than about 3 seconds analyzing your error and then forget about it. The best players in the world still make mistakes, so don't expect to never make a mistake, and don't be shocked or stupefied when it happens. Laugh it off and move on. I've seen Efren do this many times -- smile at a mistake like you're embarrased it happened, then it's over.

It's embarrassing to screw up. But there are two paths to follow when it happens: You can emotionally beat yourself up and increase the likelihood of causing more mistakes, or you can shrug your shoulders and laugh it off like it was a rare occurrence that happens to the best of us.

Great points. One of my team members used to storm around berating himself with every missed shot. I had to put an end to it. It was distracting to us all, very destructive. It is a balance between doing your best then letting it go and not caring to begin with.
 

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Please take this reply as a serious solution.

I, Randyg, do not play pool! I am way too emotional at times.

With the suggestion from my Sports Phycologist, I have adopted
a playing personna. "Blackie" does all the playing!
Blackie doesn't care who you are or where you are, he just plays pool!!!!!!
Blackie is a stong cold emotionless *****!

randyg

That is hilarious. I have actually heard of this before but never thought about it this way.

An old man told me once years ago in the bar business "I never get drunk. I have one or two. That makes me fell like a new man. Now that son of a b....."
 

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Lol....this is great! Adapt an alternate personality. Might even be an effective approach for relationships, work, poker, etc...

I've tried telling my wife it wasn't really me. So far it has not proven effective. :rolleyes:
 

Patrick Johnson

Fish of the Day
Silver Member
There's a great little book titled "Emotional Intelligence 2.0", by Travis Bradberry.

Above all, enjoy playing the game. Just having fun with what you're doing is an excellent way to keep your emotions under control.
Another good book that emphasizes this is Pleasures of Small Motions, which recommends not thinking about the outcome of the game or match or anything but focusing on the process and enjoyment of executing the specific shot at hand as perfectly as possible.

Being "in the moment" is not only good for your game, but it feels good too - you get your positive emotional investment back with interest.

pj
chgo
 

FranCrimi

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Confidence is a personality trait. I think that people who turn out to be champions are confident even before they have the skills to win.

Can we become more confident over time? Sure, just as we can adjust our personalities over time, but the bulk of it was already formed in childhood.
 

BC21

https://www.playpoolbetter.com
Gold Member
Silver Member
Another good book that emphasizes this is Pleasures of Small Motions, which recommends not thinking about the outcome of the game or match or anything but focusing on the process and enjoyment of executing the specific shot at hand as perfectly as possible.

Being "in the moment" is not only good for your game, but it feels good too - you get your positive emotional investment back with interest.

pj
chgo

Excellent book.
 

BC21

https://www.playpoolbetter.com
Gold Member
Silver Member
Confidence is a personality trait. I think that people who turn out to be champions are confident even before they have the skills to win.

Can we become more confident over time? Sure, just as we can adjust our personalities over time, but the bulk of it was already formed in childhood.

I think this is probably an accurate assessment of confidence, and why some people just don't have it or have to work harder to get it.
 

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Confidence is a personality trait. I think that people who turn out to be champions are confident even before they have the skills to win.

Can we become more confident over time? Sure, just as we can adjust our personalities over time, but the bulk of it was already formed in childhood.

I am a pretty confident person about things in general. No idea why I get nervous over games that simply make no difference at all. I played tonight and ran out my first rack but was nervous. My mechanics didn't allow me to miss but my hands shook. First game of first match of new season. Nerves cooled down and I played ok the next two games, not nervous at all.
 

Bob Jewett

AZB Osmium Member
Staff member
Gold Member
Silver Member
Another good book that emphasizes this is Pleasures of Small Motions, which recommends not thinking about the outcome of the game or match or anything but focusing on the process and enjoyment of executing the specific shot at hand as perfectly as possible.

Being "in the moment" is not only good for your game, but it feels good too - you get your positive emotional investment back with interest....
Or "The Inner Game of Tennis".
 

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I think this is probably an accurate assessment of confidence, and why some people just don't have it or have to work harder to get it.

Confidence is surely related but not really my struggle. Mine is a physical reaction. I shake. I have no idea why or when. Sometimes I don't and sometimes I do. Certain things seem to trigger it. Playing a weak team that has gotten really lucky on us in the past can trigger it more than playing a really good team. I play the best player in our league and have no issue. I think it is somehow related to expectations. When I play someone who is clearly a better player I just play. I have confidence. I realize anyone can win a single game of 8 ball. I only matched up with this particular player once and I beat him. He rattled the 8 and I got out. So, positive experience sets me up well for next time.

But even that doesn't totally explain it. I think Fran is right about it being a natural emotional thing, not necessarily confidence but some kind of anticipation or placing more emphasis on something then I intend to. It may just be me internally.

Most fears can be overcome by familiarity so I am thinking I need to play in competition more often until it becomes more mundane. There is a weekly cash tournament and I may start playing it just to log more time in competition.
 

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
There's a great little book titled "Emotional Intelligence 2.0", by Travis Bradberry. If your not much of a reader, then stick solid with numbers 2, 3, and 5 in your post. Follow those with utmost strictness, no exceptions.

Above all, enjoy playing the game. Just having fun with what you're doing is an excellent way to keep your emotions under control. When you screw up, spend no more than about 3 seconds analyzing your error and then forget about it. The best players in the world still make mistakes, so don't expect to never make a mistake, and don't be shocked or stupefied when it happens. Laugh it off and move on. I've seen Efren do this many times -- smile at a mistake like you're embarrased it happened, then it's over.

It's embarrassing to screw up. But there are two paths to follow when it happens: You can emotionally beat yourself up and increase the likelihood of causing more mistakes, or you can shrug your shoulders and laugh it off like it was a rare occurrence that happens to the best of us.

This is my goal. To just enjoy playing. I don't beat myself up. I don't even analyze or comment on my play or my teammates play. I take note of a miss and practice it the next day but don't lose sleep over it. I hear them walking around cussing a blue streak when they miss and I literally go outside so I don't have to listen to them beat themselves up. I told one of my playing partners he was going to have to cut it out or I couldn't play with him. It is distracting and boring to listen to. It is like they think they are pros and should never miss.

I see them choke but I don't see their hands physically shake like mine do. I think that is the real issue with me. It is the physical shaking, for no reason, I can't understand. As I said, sometimes I don't . I played at our state tournament this season which is the highest pressure event and I was totally cool, shot well and did not shake once. I come back to a little local game against a team we lost to the previous season and I shake like a leaf my first game.
 

FranCrimi

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
It sounds like performance anxiety. If it's that, then you're right ---- familiarity helps. The key is to not attach so much importance to the event. Also, the idea of being judged by others can make you feel that way.

I remember the first match I ever played in a pro tournament. Luck of the draw --- I drew the great Jean Balukas. To make matters worse, a TV crew was there to film highlights of her first match. Not only was I going to have to play Jean, but I was going to have to do it in front of TV cameras and an audience that Jean always drew.

I was shaking so badly, I didn't think I'd make it through the match. We were playing 14.1 and I 3-fouled early on during the match, sending my score into negative numbers. I managed to get my score barely in the black before Jean made it to 50.

I remember calling my parents to tell them I'd be home late. My father asked where I was. I said, "Just watch the 11 o'clock news on channel 7."

The segment was mainly about Jean but they showed me pocketing a few balls. It looked like I never missed a shot. I started to laugh at how surreal it was. I looked totally calm on camera, yet I knew how much I was shaking. That's when I realized that people probably weren't seeing me the way I thought they were. A lot of it was in my own head.
 

BC21

https://www.playpoolbetter.com
Gold Member
Silver Member
It sounds like performance anxiety. If it's that, then you're right ---- familiarity helps. The key is to not attach so much importance to the event. Also, the idea of being judged by others can make you feel that way.

I remember the first match I ever played in a pro tournament. Luck of the draw --- I drew the great Jean Balukas. To make matters worse, a TV crew was there to film highlights of her first match. Not only was I going to have to play Jean, but I was going to have to do it in front of TV cameras and an audience that Jean always drew.

I was shaking so badly, I didn't think I'd make it through the match. We were playing 14.1 and I 3-fouled early on during the match, sending my score into negative numbers. I managed to get my score barely in the black before Jean made it to 50.

I remember calling my parents to tell them I'd be home late. My father asked where I was. I said, "Just watch the 11 o'clock news on channel 7."

The segment was mainly about Jean but they showed me pocketing a few balls. It looked like I never missed a shot. I started to laugh at how surreal it was. I looked totally calm on camera, yet I knew how much I was shaking. That's when I realized that people probably weren't seeing me the way I thought they were. A lot of it was in my own head.

This is great, one of my favorite posts ftom you! :)
 

skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
It sounds like performance anxiety. If it's that, then you're right ---- familiarity helps. The key is to not attach so much importance to the event. Also, the idea of being judged by others can make you feel that way.

I remember the first match I ever played in a pro tournament. Luck of the draw --- I drew the great Jean Balukas. To make matters worse, a TV crew was there to film highlights of her first match. Not only was I going to have to play Jean, but I was going to have to do it in front of TV cameras and an audience that Jean always drew.

I was shaking so badly, I didn't think I'd make it through the match. We were playing 14.1 and I 3-fouled early on during the match, sending my score into negative numbers. I managed to get my score barely in the black before Jean made it to 50.

I remember calling my parents to tell them I'd be home late. My father asked where I was. I said, "Just watch the 11 o'clock news on channel 7."

The segment was mainly about Jean but they showed me pocketing a few balls. It looked like I never missed a shot. I started to laugh at how surreal it was. I looked totally calm on camera, yet I knew how much I was shaking. That's when I realized that people probably weren't seeing me the way I thought they were. A lot of it was in my own head.

Thanks Fran. As always your help is certainly valued. Yes I think those are the issues. On top of the normal self imposed pressure it doesn't help that I have a very critical playing partner. It doesn't matter how poorly he plays but he is just watching for something he can "correct" in my play. He has the ability to immediately forget he just missed 5 simple shots in a row but will remember one I missed a week later.

I think you are spot on in your analyse. It especially helped to hear you had the shakes too. Using the conscious mind to do all of the things you suggest is what I attempt. The sub conscious seems to have a mind of its own and it surprises me when it pops up. Not nervous under highest performance test yet shaking like crazy over a little local event.

Thank you for your help. As always I really do appreciate all the advice offered. A lot of the time it helps just to hear from others, things I already suspect, to be true. Confirmation itself helps ingrain the concepts. And other times something totally unexpected pops up and adds to the perspective. I really love these conversations, especially when they are not contentious.
 
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skipbales

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
This is great, one of my favorite posts ftom you! :)
It is really nice to see someone admit they have their own weaknesses at times too. It is hard to be humble but a desirable personality trait. I LOVE the look on Efren's face when he misses an easy shot. He SMILES. It is really an endearing personality trait. I also see it as real strength. It shows he has the right perspective on what he is doing. I wish I could be so composed.
 

BC21

https://www.playpoolbetter.com
Gold Member
Silver Member
It is really nice to see someone admit they have their own weaknesses at times too. It is hard to be humble but a desirable personality trait. I LOVE the look on Efren's face when he misses an easy shot. He SMILES. It is really an endearing personality trait. I also see it as real strength. It shows he has the right perspective on what he is doing. I wish I could be so composed.

I saw a funny tshirt with Efren on it. The caption read....

"Just be yourself. (Unless you can be Efren, then be Efren.)"

:lol:
 
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