best pool one liners

mike8or9

Registered
Following orders (kind of)

I was watching a real good player who shall remain nameless playing 9 ball in Las Vegas
a few years ago and as he made the 7 the cue ball had to travel 3 rails and it quickly
became obvious that for shape on the 8 the cue ball had to kiss the 9. It was going to be
close and just as the cue ball was heading in the direction of the 9 He hollered "Kiss
it baby, it's clean." The cue ball listened and after the laughter subsided he got out.
 

The Renfro

Outsville.com
Silver Member
Welcome to Outsville... Population: YOU


I've always wondered if Outsville exists outside of East Tennessee... 20 some odd years ago in Jokers pool-hall in Oak Ridge TN I first heard the term....

We had all sorts of characters come thru the doors back then... Corbin Nick, Jellico Billy, Lotsa Poppa, Mountain Man, Black Larry, Old Larry, Earl "Red" Frye and many many more.....

It was the late 80s/early 90s and "The Color of Money"'s effects were in play. We had a full room on the week ends and I could get 40-50 players out every Thursday for our handicapped tournaments...

Jokers was where I learned the game... I had been playing for years before I ended up living in my Grandmother's basement in Oak Ridge while I went to college...

When I was a kid Gordon's pool hall had been across the street from my dad's garage and for the 5 bucks a week my dad gave him Gordon would open a bar table every day after school and let me play until my mom picked me up after she got off work....

Shortly after that I got my wheels and those wheels stayed parked in front of the the family rec every night... I learned to play 8ball on bar tables.. There were no real players so everything I learned I had to learn the hard way.... Good old trial and error... I was a neophyte so most of the times I gambled I was lucky enough that young eyes made the difference....

My senior year of high school my dad showed up to the game room and actually got into a ring game that was too rich for my blood... He was a decent player and I figured we would split... After several hours he ended up busting it.. I think that likely amounted to maybe 150 bucks..

As we walked out Dad peeled off $33 bucks... Apparently he had kept more track of how much I had lost than anything.. As he handed it to me he said something that I can still hear "I don't ever want you to gamble again until you know what you are doing"... Growing up around round tracks and drag strips made what he was saying all the more clear... You never took your car to the track when it was missing... You either got it tuned right or you stayed on the porch......

So I stayed on the porch and graduated a few months later... That's when I moved to Oak Ridge... I needed a job and knew about Jokers but had only been in there as a kid to play video games when I stayed at my grandparents.. We had a table in the basement at their house so I had never even thought about hitting a ball in Jokers... Heck they used to run you out just for sitting around and watching the players match up....

The owner liked the fact that I was from out of town and didn't know I had already contracted the "disease" so he gave me a job... I was somewhere I could finally learn about what I "was doing"... I could play all day for free on the front table for good money and I got to watch the players ply their trade....

I am still understanding some of the lessons I learned there from the old timers and players... CJ's touch of inside was a gem I learned 20 years earlier... Cueball squirt was called topple and Back hand english was called swerve.. You didn't want to penetrate the cueball's crust was the way it was explained to me LOL...

But back to Outsville's origination... I don't recall the names of the players... I don't recall what they were playing for.... But I recall at a pivotal point one of the players broke the balls as good as you could break them on the old slow Charles House cloth and had zero chance of not being able to run out... At that point one of the rail-birds chirped up with "that's a road-map" to which the player replied.. "No... That's Outsville" After more time I recall it was Lotsa-Poppa from up Chicago??? that carried that term into my past, present and future......

From then on anytime anytime I broke em like that you could hear me clear across the room... "Outsville!!"

As I progressed I started to call the zone itself "Outsville" and there was nothing better in the world than when you got to live there for extended periods as the only resident... my new battle cry became "Outsville... Population ME!!!"

Since I spent years of my life searching for Outsville and not finding it more often than I did.... there was nothing else I could name my website... My sword and shield are rusty and there is grey in my beard and hair... Just starting mind you but it's there....

Maybe it's not the same Outsville I used to look for but then again it keeps me connected to a game that has had me hooked for 32 years now....

I'd love to hear from anyone out there that has heard of Outsville before and where they heard it........

Chris

update: Weenie Beenie was apparently the originator of this battle cry and used it back in his days on the road anytime he ran 8 and out.... Now I am left wondering how the phrase made it to a small pool room in East Tennessee....
 

sixpack

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Best one liner I heard from a pool player - I hadn't seen him in about three years and he walks in the pool hall I was in, sees me and says: "Hold on, I got something for you." He digs in his sock and hands me $20 that I loaned him last time I saw him.

I've never seen another pool player do that :)
 

cantwin

GriffithBilliardsManager
Silver Member
one liners

thats a great shot, if ya hate money!

thats a tough titty, but the milk got to be sucked.

arguing about the count in some onehole and this guy says, man, i aint never lying, if i said a mouse could pull a house, you better hitch him up!

balls about to freeze together.." freeze ***** police"
 

mattb

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
"He is playing a hundred dollar set with a two dollar stroke."

When making a tough shot that goes clean' "In like it had eyes!"

When I need one in one pocket and my opponent needs several, "I need one and you need every one."

"He wouldn't bet water was wet."

My all time favorite, "He couldn't play dead in an old western!"
 
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John Brumback

New member
Silver Member
When the cball is headin for a scratch......."let him in,he's a member".

I heard someone telling their buddy about me after our match of bankpool. "He left me on the end rail so much,I'm pickin out splinters":D John B.
 

tuda

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
one liners

I was watching my nephew play a guy 6 ahead, it went on for hours and hours, every time my nephew would hook him the guy would kick out and hit the ball, more than not he would kick safe.

finally my nephew blirted out "this guy kicks like a bag full of ninja's"
 

ShootingArts

Smorg is giving St Peter the 7!
Gold Member
Silver Member
duck season

Welcome to Outsville... Population: YOU


I've always wondered if Outsville exists outside of East Tennessee... 20 some odd years ago in Jokers pool-hall in Oak Ridge TN I first heard the term....

. . .

I'd love to hear from anyone out there that has heard of Outsville before and where they heard it........

Chris

update: Weenie Beenie was apparently the originator of this battle cry and used it back in his days on the road anytime he ran 8 and out.... Now I am left wondering how the phrase made it to a small pool room in East Tennessee....



Chris,

As a kid in the south Louisiana bars I just said "Duck Season!" or started quacking when the table was wide open or occasionally sarcastically when the table was problems everywhere.

Hu
 

pt109

WO double hemlock
Silver Member
My old friend Lester, RIP.
He needed weight from good players but he competed all his life.
When he was on a run-out and missed the last ball, he would say...
"Swam twenty miles, drowned ten feet from shore."
 

bstroud

Deceased
Two favorites from Fatty:

" I put a million dollars of English on that ball and it only took a nickels worth."

" I know everything everybody knows and no one knows what I know."

Bill S.
 

SouthernDraw

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Opponent is left with no pocket and difficult safe, but can see the ball and complains. Your response, "Well I left it straight in! ... (moment of silence) Straight into the rail!!!"
 

RiverCity

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
When the man with the money meets the man with the experience, the man with the experience gets the money and the man with the money gets the experience.
 

One Pocket John

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
As Danny said to Big Jake. "I have enough 100 dollar bills to cover your fat body Jake"

You had to be there to appreciate the woofing. :smile:

John
 

Ty-Tanic

Ty-Tanic Makes U Panic
Silver Member
You couldn't make that shot with a laser sight and a scope.

these pockets play tighter than virgin p***y.

That rack is so nice I want to motor boat it.
 

pocket

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
After making a shot and leaving himself tough: "I've seen better leaves on a dead tree".
 

jbullerjr

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
"Ya parked whitey like it had a steering wheel."

Older hustler playing younger hustler "Your gonna have to start playing better, they are gonna arrest me for child abuse!"

Other guy "Let's play some one pocket"
Me "I don't really play much one pocket"
Other guy " Well we can't gamble any more 9-ball, you run-out like water"

This one has probably happen to most of us...
I'm at BCA Nationals, guy I beat the day before comes up to me as I am practicing, I had just missed a ball
"If you would have played like that against me, I would have won!"
"I was pretending like I was playing you, that was YOU missing!"
 

jbullerjr

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
After the third 22+ mph 3 rail shit in 9 ball
I ask "Are your eyes open when you shoot, or are you using The Force."
 
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