best pool one liners

BWColeman · Dec 24, 2013

In my time around pool halls all over i have heard some of the most colorful and funny one-liners from people in the pool hall. Could we all share some of our favorites ?

For me My Favorite I ever heard " Of course he will gamble his pockets are Axel deep to a ferris wheel "

$TAKE HOR$E · Dec 24, 2013

"He's got a dead rat in his mouth"

Not sure why that's funny but it is :grin:

Gunn_Slinger · Dec 24, 2013

Early 70's. Richie Florence flys in to Weenie Beenie's room to play Buddy Hall. They play ( I think ) 8 ahead for 2k. ( Buddy may remember ) . They play on the only double shimmed table ( tbl 22 ). Buddy is ahead after a couple of hours. Richie looks at Buddy and says ' you know theses pockets are tight , dont you?'. Buddy looks at Richie and says ( my favorate line of all time! ) ' The middle of the pocket ain't tight , Richie' ).
Richie lost, grabbed his plane ticket from Phil Hubbard, and said ' dont call me to play this guy again'.
I miss the 'golden ' days of pool!

KCRack'em · Dec 24, 2013

At league: "That team over there looks like the funnel cake line at the county fair."

Another time: "That really looks like a police lineup next to the pool table."

RiverCity · Dec 24, 2013

"You know why you missed that ball? There was no pocket.........where you shot it...."

Chuck

Lesh · Dec 24, 2013

Not to toot my own horn, but its pretty funny because I just blurted it out one day after missing for a third time into the side on the tightest table in the room (9 footer Big G Gandy):

This table is like a retarded prom date... slow and tight!

Apologies if I bruised any sensibilities.

Lesh

ROB.M · Dec 24, 2013

Post

We got a guy in the pool room that says the funniest schit' the guy he was playing got a lucky roll to beat him out of the tournament one before the money... He told the guy that got the luck of the roll that he just got luckier than a three dicked faggot' I'm still laughing about how he said it, it's funny but if you would of been there when it happened you'd still be in laughter too.

Rob.M

ibuycues · Dec 24, 2013

I break like I make love.....

How's that?

I put everything in but the balls.....

ibuycues · Dec 24, 2013

I'm gonna make you break the door down tryin' to get outta here!

ibuycues · Dec 24, 2013

After making a particularly hard shot.....

"I stayed up all night once trying to miss that shot......finally fell asleep!"

BWColeman · Dec 24, 2013

A couple more

"These pockets are tighter than a bullfrog's ass and thats watertight"

" he bets higher than Girraff p--sy "

victorl · Dec 24, 2013

After getting beat badly for the cheese,
"It's just not my day today"
"Well, here's my number, call me when it's your day... and bring lots of cash"

Krisha · Dec 24, 2013

In my beginning on the pool tables, i had a guy i met in my first tournament. he said this one to me, and i never forgot ...

"Your cue is a piece of wood, doesn't mather what it cost or how beautifull it is, you got to learn to work with it."

Bella Don't Cry · Dec 24, 2013

SNOOKER:
Legendary Commentator, TED LOWE:
His most famous quote being,
"and for those of you who are watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green."

Lesh · Dec 24, 2013

Bella Don't Cry said:
SNOOKER:
Legendary Commentator, TED LOWE:
His most famous quote being,
"and for those of you who are watching in black and white, the pink is next to the green."

...and isn't it usually the case that we find the pink next to the green?:grin:

JAM · Dec 24, 2013

After your opponent misses a shot and leaves you a good shot, "Colonel, bring the troops in from the hot sun."

When somebody scratches, "Man overboard."

trustyrusty · Dec 24, 2013

after someone's crappy break - Hit it with your purse!!
bank that goes into the wrong hole - routine.
and for some reason I like to say, SWISH when I scratch?! :embarrassed2:

RiverCity · Dec 24, 2013

"You want a spot? Tell ya what... I'll take to to the pound and get you a dog..... You can call him anything you want......"
Chuck

1Hole_Nut · Dec 24, 2013

my on linner

If someone ask me to play for five dollors my one linner is this >>>> My paperboy will bet more than that <<<<<

IamCalvin06 · Dec 24, 2013

I got ur money, but it's in action right now. - Scotty Townsend

It's so quite in here I can here a mouse pissing on a cottonball.- Shannon Daulton

best pool one liners

BWC

champagne - campaign

AzB Silver Member

I'm not argumentative!!!!

AzB Silver Member

One Hole Thinkifier

:)

I Love Box Cues

I Love Box Cues

I Love Box Cues

BWC

Where'd my stroke go?

Registered

AzB Silver Member

One Hole Thinkifier

AzB Silver Member

I'm better with a wedge!

AzB Silver Member

AzB Silver Member

Yang "The Son of Pool"