What's your favorite quote by a billiards player?

One liners

"You couldn't play dead in a cheap western!" Said by my buddy, Rich - AKA "The Skunk"

That's now my favorite line in a pool hall...

I'd rather be ate by a goat and shit off a cliff than put a dollar in his pocket..

John Schmidt

I've heard for many years Fats said this but can't say for certain, but I always liked it...

"Give me a broomstick with a good tip on it, not only will I take all your money but I'll sweep up the joint when I'm done."


Oh, then there's the one in my signature.

One of the biggest nits in the world, went in to have a heart procedure.
When he came back to the pool room, someone asked him what he had done .
He said "it was laproscopic surgery" and a voice in the back said "You mean, microscopic surgery, if they found your heart."

Myself and A fairly known player and gambler in North Carolina walked in to a pool room and was immediately approached by a guy and the guy said are you so and so. My buddy said I don't know, who is asking? The guy preceded to give his name and said I'm asking cause I heard you like to play for money and afraid to bet it up. To make a long story short, they made a game and the stranger got beat fairly easy, even though he ran his mouth the whole time about him being unlucky and my buddy being lucky and all the other normal excuses. When he had finally had enough, I noticed my buddy walking around the table, looking around, looking under the table, and just acting really weird with a puzzled look on his face. I asked him if he was ok and his reply was "yeah I'm fine. Just trying to find the cameras. This has to be one of those hidden camera shows. That MF didn't really show up to play me."

I always thought that was priceless.

What was that quote by Earl which included "I'm gonna shoot out your liver"?

I haven't been playing!

almost everyone has used this one before, while matching up and trying to get the best of the game!

He was talking about hooking your opponent

Everyone needs a hooker....
-Tang Hoa

Frankie Hernandez to Tony Annigoni after spending an hour trying to match up failed: Frankie pulled out his bankroll & flipped a $20 to Tony and said "here, go get a heart transplant and come back and see me when you're ready".

When I was 18 I was a cook at a Sambo's restaurant in central Florida. If you remember Sambo's, then you are at least my age, let's just say it was many years ago. After work one day I caught the "new guy" Jim, in the parking lot and asked if he would like to join me for a beer and a game or two of pool. He called his wife and off we went.

I never knew Jim's last name, he was about 50, a pretty fair short order cook, He had tattoos down both arms and was pretty quiet. He just seemed like a nice enough guy. I ordered a beer, Jim said he no longer drank but he liked pool.

My family had a pool table in our garage, so I was experienced at play, not good, but I had an understanding for the game. The second or third rack, with a bit of luck I broke and ran the table. I was cocky about it, telling Jim to "Rack 'em!".

Jim smiled as he put in the quarters, placed the rack on the table and began racking. Every once in a while he would look up and say, "click click". After about the third time I asked what he was doing. He replied, "Oh, just tightening up a few clicks".

I broke and didn't shoot for the next 4 racks. JIm would break and (what seemed like) effortlessly float around the table firing in balls like it was nothing. I watched him control that cue ball like I had never seen it done. Probably the best player I ever personally knew. Needless to say, my cockiness disappeared. Turned out Jim was a gambler out of Texas who hadn't had a "real" job in over 12 years. He was only cooking with me because he planned on keeping his new wife. I couldn't blame him for that! She was much younger than he and a real looker too. Over the next year he taught me a lot of stuff, a lot of it was the psychological part of winning. Jim was really good at reading people. He said he quit drinking because when he shot pool he had also developed a drinking problem spending so much time around booze. It caused the breakup with his first wife and he wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

I often use the phrase "Time to tighten up a few clicks" when I'm falling behind my opponent or just not quite hitting at my level.

Jim moved away before I could really get the most out of his experience. I think he was looking for "his place" in life and cooking at a restaurant near Walt Disney World wasn't it. I never heard from him again,

"Oh, I'm just tightening up a few clicks". I always liked that.

Lori woofing to Jean...... "I'll shoot your ovaries off"

Alex Pagulayan. " Learn one new thing every day".

Quote

"She's a good player but as goofy as a pet coon."

Described a good player named Becky, in OKC, back in the eighties.

Willy

Magyar19 said:

I have a new one after just listening to the Earl/Efren 9-ball set at Steinway. Tony Robles was commentating and said one time Earl looked at him dead in the eye and said completely serious "I've never missed a shot that was my fault. It's always the table, the balls, or the equipment." :grin:

Click to expand...

"Every time Fatty opens his mouth, I make money!"
-Mr. Mosconi

Can't remember who said it, but I believe it was bill garner:
He's luckier than a cocksucker with a handful of dicks.

My favorite is Blackjack's sig line..

"Dead balls are harder to find than they are to make."
Cicero Murphy