Pool Players Excuse Book

Kris_b1104

Kris_b1104

House Pro in my own home.
Silver Member
1) I'm having an off night.
2) The table is wet.
3) The table is dry.
4) I don't have my usual cue with me.
5) I got stung by a bee yesterday and I'm still recovering.
6) My niece turned 2 yesterday and I was up all night planning her surprise party.
7) The table is slow.
8) The table is fast.
9) The table is unleveled.
10) I'm not warmed up yet.
11) I'm hungry and haven't ate anything since yesterday.
12) I ate too much food and I'm full.
13) The rails are dead.
14) The rails are too bouncy.
15) These pockets are too big.
16) Wow these pockets are tight.

Please add to the list. Thank you.
 
E

ElCorazonFrio

Banned
-The light from the disco ball passed right over the object ball as I shot.

-A gust of wind blew a leaf onto the table which my shot hit.

-She really shouldn't bend over in a skirt that short...at least not while I'm shooting.

Those are some of the excuses I've used over the past year or two, the rest of the misses are on me.
 
victorl

victorl

Where'd my stroke go?
Silver Member
"I haven't been playing as much lately" (when in reality, he's just been playing 4 times a a week instead of the usual five)

"I got a new cue/tip/shaft/glove/chalk/aiming system and I'm still adjusting to it."

"I need higher stakes to play seriously." (But bump up the stakes and they fold like a cheap lawn chair)

"Nothing I can do, my opponent played perfect." (Completely ignoring his own missed shots)
 
Hajidub

Hajidub

Registered
Playing NAPA League last week against a really good, young, G.I.. He's the APA equivalent of an 8/9. The race was 6-4, he was up 4-0, joking, dancing, horseplaying with his teammate. I came back to win 5-4.

Excuse to his team was he shouldn't have pulled that 24hr shift the day before.
 
michael4

michael4

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
"I usually play on a ( 7 / 8 / 9 ) foot table......"

I don't like the color of this cloth.....

Forgot my glasses....

Back hurts....

edit "not enough competition"
 
DAVE_M

DAVE_M

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
The table is dirty
The balls are dirty
The balls were just polished
The cue ball is too heavy
The cue ball is too light
The cloth is new
The cloth is old
The light's making shadows
The table is too small
The table is too big
It's too hot
It's too cold
I'm just warming up
I'm getting tired
I'm off tonight
This cue sucks
This tip sucks
This cue is too heavy
This cue is too light
The rack was loose
The pocket is messed up
I didn't spin it enough
I spun it too much
The English didn't take
The rails don't bank well
The rails bank short
The rails bank long

I can go on and on
 
Drop The Rock

Drop The Rock

1652nd on AZ Money List
Silver Member
The lights sharked me
You sharked me
he sharked me
she sharked me

I'm just feeling lazy
I don't play well if it isn't for money
 
Celophanewrap

Celophanewrap

Call me Grace
Silver Member
I can't believe no one has mentioned "The Pool Gods" yet, it's almost always their fault.
How about some truth though: I'm fat, drunk, and stupid,
Ten there's always, "It was your girlfriends fault"
 
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