These are facts as far as I'm concerned:
I haven't been to church but a handful of times in a decade.
I almost never bring up religion or anything to do with it unless myself or someone I love is in a situation that scares me.
I'm in a situation right now and I'm feeling guilty about asking for prayer.
I don't know what else to say except thank you for reading this.
Jeff
I just want to say that I appreciate every single member on AZB. Time and time again, I've witnessed AZB and its great host of members come to the rescue of people in need. AZB is a very special place. Having said that, regardless of how great the site is ...it's the MEMBERS that puts AZB at the top of my list of online forums for everything pool and more.
I've had several surgeries since breaking my back at four different places in 2007. As some of us know, once we start down the spine surgery road there is no telling how far that road will go nor how bumpy it will get.
I was scheduled to have spine surgeries on the 18th and 20th of this month.
The surgery on the 18th was not a revision surgery and went well. The surgery on the 20th was meant to be a revision surgery to replace some of the rods, screws, spacers, etc...etc...
Well, after the second surgery, I had just come out of recovery and was all excited that they were done and I could start my rehab back, when the doctor walks into the room and drops a bomb on my wife and I.
The news was,:
"I'm sorry Mr. Crouch, but I couldn't do the revision surgery. All I could do was remove a level of hardware and sew you back up after discovering that your previous surgeon performed what we calll malposition with the two top screws which takes away any chance of a fusion at that particular level and I felt it best that we make that decision after the successful part of surgeries are healed".
As to be expected, I was disappointed. Add the extreme doses of fentanyl, dilaudid, percocet and a couple of muscle relaxers to the mix and I had a really bad state of mind.
I began to wonder "why me"...again and again again. All of that has taken a successful career that took a long time to make. I had to just walk away.
On top of the lost career, I started to think about not being able to play pool again unless I was willing to do as I've done since 2017.....and that is take HUGE doese of medicine to just be able to walk around the table, much less play well.
Then it hit me, pool...really? That and my career is all I'm worried about? Instead I started to think about not ever being able to pick my grandchildren up or play with them.....ever again. At least not long or often enough for them to develop the solid type of relationship that we all had or wanted to have with our grandparents.
At that time, my mindset went downhill...big time.
Religion and spirituality? Yep, I started to pray and it made me feel better at first, but then it hit me that I didn't feel worthy of what I have, much less worthy of favors.
I think we all doubt ourselves at times. I know I do and just like with pool, if you lose concentration or confidence, well, you may as well unscrew because your done.
As stated above, I REALLY, REALLY appreciate all of you folks more than you will ever know.
Jeff
I just want to say that I appreciate every single member on AZB. Time and time again, I've witnessed AZB and its great host of members come to the rescue of people in need. AZB is a very special place. Having said that, regardless of how great the site is ...it's the MEMBERS that puts AZB at the top of my list of online forums for everything pool and more.
I've had several surgeries since breaking my back at four different places in 2007. As some of us know, once we start down the spine surgery road there is no telling how far that road will go nor how bumpy it will get.
I was scheduled to have spine surgeries on the 18th and 20th of this month.
The surgery on the 18th was not a revision surgery and went well. The surgery on the 20th was meant to be a revision surgery to replace some of the rods, screws, spacers, etc...etc...
Well, after the second surgery, I had just come out of recovery and was all excited that they were done and I could start my rehab back, when the doctor walks into the room and drops a bomb on my wife and I.
The news was,:
"I'm sorry Mr. Crouch, but I couldn't do the revision surgery. All I could do was remove a level of hardware and sew you back up after discovering that your previous surgeon performed what we calll malposition with the two top screws which takes away any chance of a fusion at that particular level and I felt it best that we make that decision after the successful part of surgeries are healed".
As to be expected, I was disappointed. Add the extreme doses of fentanyl, dilaudid, percocet and a couple of muscle relaxers to the mix and I had a really bad state of mind.
I began to wonder "why me"...again and again again. All of that has taken a successful career that took a long time to make. I had to just walk away.
On top of the lost career, I started to think about not being able to play pool again unless I was willing to do as I've done since 2017.....and that is take HUGE doese of medicine to just be able to walk around the table, much less play well.
Then it hit me, pool...really? That and my career is all I'm worried about? Instead I started to think about not ever being able to pick my grandchildren up or play with them.....ever again. At least not long or often enough for them to develop the solid type of relationship that we all had or wanted to have with our grandparents.
At that time, my mindset went downhill...big time.
Religion and spirituality? Yep, I started to pray and it made me feel better at first, but then it hit me that I didn't feel worthy of what I have, much less worthy of favors.
I think we all doubt ourselves at times. I know I do and just like with pool, if you lose concentration or confidence, well, you may as well unscrew because your done.
As stated above, I REALLY, REALLY appreciate all of you folks more than you will ever know.
Jeff