Name some woofin' quotes that you thought were very funny

IamCalvin06

IamCalvin06

Yang "The Son of Pool"
Silver Member
Shannon is hilarious!!

Viking had an event at Mr.Cues II in ATL. Big event with an all around champion and what not, so a lot of ppl came out.

The pro event was about to start and they're all getting ready to warm up. Shannon looks around and says "if its not too much to ask, can we get some chalk around here."

TD brings out a box of Silver Cup and puts it on the table. Shannon chalks up his cue, takes a shot and miscues.

"Wtf is this silver cup? I'd rather hoc up a lugi and put it on my tip before I use this!" :thumbup:

Another time I saw him play this young kid from NYC in a tourney. Kid is on the hill with Shannon down 5games. Kid hangs the 9ball & gives Shannon the game but sets the shot back up and misses again. Shannon ask for a smoke break & kid says ok.

As Shannon's walking by he says "yea let's let that one simmer in for a bit." I died in my chair watching him comeback to win the match.
 
IamCalvin06

IamCalvin06

Yang "The Son of Pool"
Silver Member
Was it at the DCC when someone kept woofin about no one having any gamble in them & everyone in this room is a nit. Then Alex said "you wanna gamble? I'll bet 5k that I have the smallest penis in the room but we have to measure in front of everyone!"
 
D

decent dennis

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
JAM said:
By the tone of your posts in the morning when I wake up, I kind of figured you've been up all night. You seem to post a lot this time of morning. Me, on the other hand, I just woke up, and I'm fresh as a daisy. The early bird always gets the worm.

Nighty night! :thumbup:
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But don't forget, the second mouse get's the cheese.:grin-square:
 
Standbykid

Standbykid

Results or excuses?
Silver Member
IamCalvin06 said:
Was it at the DCC when someone kept woofin about no one having any gamble in them & everyone in this room is a nit. Then Alex said "you wanna gamble? I'll bet 5k that I have the smallest penis in the room but we have to measure in front of everyone!"
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Now that, is funny!
 
Cdryden

Cdryden

Pool Addict
Silver Member
"You don't even know somebody that could find somebody that could call somebody that could beat me" ----I don't remember who said it but I like it.

After being offered a bet this guy said " I don't gamble" to which my buddy said "It ain't gambling son, cause you got no chance of winning". They were in action within 10 minutes!

I heard a guy say thins once when he was trying to get action. "Come on man, it's only 20 bucks, why don't you take that stick out of your a$$ and shoot with it!"
 
H

harris4143

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
When I first started playing I use to travel to cosmos pool room in Dickson city pa I wanted to learn from the guys out there because there was a lot of very good players so one Friday night I leave Williamsport I walk into cosmos there is Spain and the gypsy going back and forth with Cosmo and Tim Tanana so after 30 minutes of trying to figure out a game Cosmo says I want you guys to get a map of Pennsylvania and put a big x over scranton and write to strong for you .... Timmy says no no I want you to get a map and put a picture of me "flexing" over scranton that says to ****in strong for you so after that Cosmo played Spain and drilled him 2 sets in about 30 minutes and Timmy played the gypsy I believe he was giving him the eight for 100 a game and broke even
 
peteypooldude

peteypooldude

I see Edges
Silver Member
I went to Whiteville with a buddy of mine so he could play this guy giving him the 7 ball. Well a bunch of junk was talked and my buddy beat him 8 ahead in about 30 minutes. The guy was steady making excuses so my buddy tells him
" if I knew you didn't play any better than that I would have gave you more weight". It pissed the whole place off.
I thought it was hilarious but evidently they didn't find it so funny
 
R

RShellhouse

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
As the story was related to me....

At the Expo..some kid is playing a older guy and beats him pretty good...the guy says well you couldnt beat me on a 9 foot..we can go play some there....kid goes we can go play on a 9 foot..we can go out and knock 6 holes in the parking lot and Ill play you there...it doesnt matter to me...


R
 
The Saw

The Saw

Juicy Pop in 2016!
Silver Member
JAM said:
One monkey decided to dance to the tune he wanted to dance to, but he was turned down. You see, it seems nobody was interested in dancing the quick step and instead preferred some hip-hop. The monkey knew how to do the hip-hop, but he preferred the quick step since he had been away from the dancing ballroom for many years. Nobody seemed to want to do the quick step, even though they said they danced all dances.

After careful consideration, the wise old monkey then decided he'd dance when he *wanted* to dance for himself and not for a couple of chirping railbirds with no skin in the game. :grin-square:
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We were at Shannons pool room one time and he gave us directions to his house.... Pure comedy gold, and not trying to be funny!!! I had the whole thing memorized and did a pretty good impersonation of it. I got called out at DCC one year to do it in front of 20-30 people, Shannon included, pretty funny. That dude is a walking laugh trap.
 
Toncam

Toncam

Another Bum !
Silver Member
Badbeat13 said:
One of the funny ones I heard actually came from a casino that my brother dealt at. There was a gentleman who is deceased now that always came in with this announcement. " My name's Campbell and I'm here to gamble,with any man from any land, any game you can name, any amount you can count!"

Classic, if you ask me.
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One that i used on a bunch of fleas on a crap game that got hot and no one was pressing anything, nothing, just $10 flat and thats it.
As i was getting tapped off i said to the players: " If any of you guys ever gets busted for gambling when you get back home, just have your lawyers call me as a character witness. They will never get a conviction."
Couple guys busted out laughing, lol.
 
GeoEnvi

GeoEnvi

Diamond System Enthusiast
Silver Member
Badbeat13 said:
One of the funny ones I heard actually came from a casino that my brother dealt at. There was a gentleman who is deceased now that always came in with this announcement. " My name's Campbell and I'm here to gamble,with any man from any land, any game you can name, any amount you can count!"

Classic, if you ask me.
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Isn't that a version of the quote that Fats said during the TV interview that brought the cops to Johnston City?
 
UGOTDA7

UGOTDA7

Ban pending.....
Silver Member
At my own expense.

I played Larry Humphries some $20 nine ball in Lawton, OK late one night back in the 90s. I lost ten straight (my worst beat ever), nothing was going right, so I paid him and told him I was done. Larry said let's go get something to eat so he, me, and my buddy went down to the Waffle House. The check came and Larry said he's got it, my buddy thanks Larry to which Larry replies - "don't thank me, thank him, he paid for it." :grin: :(
 
Badbeat13

Badbeat13

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Toncam said:
One that i used on a bunch of fleas on a crap game that got hot and no one was pressing anything, nothing, just $10 flat and thats it.
As i was getting tapped off i said to the players: " If any of you guys ever gets busted for gambling when you get back home, just have your lawyers call me as a character witness. They will never get a conviction."
Couple guys busted out laughing, lol.
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Nice one and an even nicer avatar, Clint is the man and he sure had his share of great lines. Hard to name a favorite, but one of the best was in 'The Outlaw Josey Wales'. The bounty hunters were standing in the doorway staring toward him and Josey says "You a bounty hunter"? His reply "Man's gotta make a livin". Josey says"Dyin' ain't much of a livin' boy". That's just classic Eastwood.
 
Badbeat13

Badbeat13

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
GeoEnvi said:
Isn't that a version of the quote that Fats said during the TV interview that brought the cops to Johnston City?
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Maybe so, but I first heard it from my brother. I had heard the my name's Campbell part before, but not the rest of it.
 
Badbeat13

Badbeat13

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
Ugotda7?

UGOTDA7 said:
At my own expense.

I played Larry Humphries some $20 nine ball in Lawton, OK late one night back in the 90s. I lost ten straight (my worst beat ever), nothing was going right, so I paid him and told him I was done. Larry said let's go get something to eat so he, me, and my buddy went down to the Waffle House. The check came and Larry said he's got it, my buddy thanks Larry to which Larry replies - "don't thank me, thank him, he paid for it." :grin: :(
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Nice name 'UGOTDA7'. Several years back I first saw a 'UGOTDA7' on ebay and thought it was comical and clever. I'm assuming this is the same person. Am I right?
 
blah blah

blah blah

Shoebat
Guy from Georgia used to holler this one, loud, when it was too quiet and he was wanting to start something:

"Eight to eighty, blind crippled or crazy- I don't care, I'll play anybody here for money. Specially the blind ones- where the blind ones at?"

That's just the intro- he'd be talking for a while once he got started.
 
Rabbit

Rabbit

Banned
"Get up one time for the kids in wheelchairs and bet something"

"How do i play? Strong like body builder of course, I think you should hit the gym"
 
UGOTDA7

UGOTDA7

Ban pending.....
Silver Member
Badbeat13 said:
Nice name 'UGOTDA7'. Several years back I first saw a 'UGOTDA7' on ebay and thought it was comical and clever. I'm assuming this is the same person. Am I right?
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Yeah, that's me. I was hot and heavy selling a lot of custom cues for a while......but it got old.
 
Badbeat13

Badbeat13

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
UGOTDA7 said:
Yeah, that's me. I was hot and heavy selling a lot of custom cues for a while......but it got old.
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Thanks for the reply. This explains why I saw the user name several times before, because I was always looking at the highest priced cues first. If I remember correctly, you sold a lot of really nice custom cues.
 
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