A guy walked into a bar with his pet monkey and ordered a drink. While he was drinking, the monkey jumped all over the place. It grabbed some nuts off the bar and ate them, then grabbed some cocktail onions and ate them.
Then the jumped onto the pool table, took the cue ball, stuck
it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallowed it whole. The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy said, "No, what?"
"He just ate a billiard ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah" the guy replied, " that doesn't surprise me. He eats everything in
sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball." The guy finished his drink, paid his bar bill and paid for the stuff the monkey ate and left.
Two weeks later, he came into the bar again along with his monkey. He
ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar just like before. While the guy was finishing his drink, the monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then the monkey found an olive. This, too, he stuck up his butt, pulled it out and ate it.
Disgusted, the bartender blurted out "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asked. "No, what?" replied the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out and ate it. The same with an olive!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," said the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cueball, he measures it first."
(Sorry if old, I just heard it. I'm afraid to admit, this is my kind of joke.)
Then the jumped onto the pool table, took the cue ball, stuck
it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallowed it whole. The bartender screamed at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy said, "No, what?"
"He just ate a billiard ball off my pool table... whole!"
"Yeah" the guy replied, " that doesn't surprise me. He eats everything in
sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball." The guy finished his drink, paid his bar bill and paid for the stuff the monkey ate and left.
Two weeks later, he came into the bar again along with his monkey. He
ordered a drink and the monkey started running around the bar just like before. While the guy was finishing his drink, the monkey found a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabbed it, stuck it up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it. Then the monkey found an olive. This, too, he stuck up his butt, pulled it out and ate it.
Disgusted, the bartender blurted out "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asked. "No, what?" replied the guy.
"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, pulled it out and ate it. The same with an olive!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," said the guy.
"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cueball, he measures it first."
(Sorry if old, I just heard it. I'm afraid to admit, this is my kind of joke.)
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