Best / Most Creative Excuses

[Michael Andros]

What are the best / most creative excuses for losing you've either heard or, used?

Here's one from many years ago that is, at least to me, pretty amusing.

Family Billiards room owner and I were at a tournament in N. Carolina back in the early 80s and we ran into Jay Swanson there. He was scuffling around with Jimmy Hodges. We had just watched him lose a match pretty badly to someone he had no business losing to, especially in a race to 11. As we were talking to him, he said ( in regard to his loss ) "I over-amped on that g-damned bee pollen." We must've ( understandably ) given him an odd look, because he immediately told us Hodges had him on a diet of bee pollen which, according to Jimmy would get you in dead punch in a NY minute. Well... seemed like Jay was having second thoughts. I always thought that was a great excuse. Bee pollen. Oy vey...

 

[RiverCity]

My favorite, that I stole and sometimes use came from Jimmy Mataya.

"This guy is playing so bad, he's making me play bad. In fact, if he wins, it will be his fault!" :grin:

 

[Michael Andros]

My favorite, that I stole and sometimes use came from Jimmy Mataya.

"This guy is playing so bad, he's making me play bad. In fact, if he wins, it will be his fault!" :grin:

Sounds like something Mataya would say.

When Efren and Parica were first in the U.S., Efren was just brutalizing Bobby ( I think ) Hunter at a tournament somewhere for a ton of $$$. Mataya was sweating the match and after Hunter lost another set, Mataya said, rather loudly, about Efren, to no one in particular, but clearly aimed in the Filipino camp's direction "Let him bet 10,000 and see how he likes it... " And before he even finished saying it, one of the Filipinos was leaning forward, waving a HUGE wad of cash, saying "10,000? 10,000???"

Mataya never said another word and just sat down. :grin:

 

[jackpot]

Guess who

Some of older guys around TX an OK will probably know.
"Agent Orange". Is what caused him to lose.
jack

 

[Michael Andros]

Some of older guys around TX an OK will probably know.
"Agent Orange". Is what caused him to lose.
jack

Yeah... or a little shrapnel in his knee.

 

[measureman]

i played a guy that everyone knew was a little off but still a pretty good player.
I beat him a set of 9 ball and he said the electrical wires in the ceiling were making the balls roll off and thats why he lost.
My reply was that i'm playing on the same table.

 

[Michael Andros]

i played a guy that everyone knew was a little off but still a pretty good player.
I beat him a set of 9 ball and he said the electrical wires in the ceiling were making the balls roll off and thats why he lost.
My reply was that i'm playing on the same table.

But, you obviously weren't nearly as wired as he was.

 

[PhilosopherKing]

What are the best / most creative excuses for losing you've either heard or, used?

Here's one from many years ago that is, at least to me, pretty amusing.

Family Billiards room owner and I were at a tournament in N. Carolina back in the early 80s and we ran into Jay Swanson there. He was scuffling around with Jimmy Hodges. We had just watched him lose a match pretty badly to someone he had no business losing to, especially in a race to 11. As we were talking to him, he said ( in regard to his loss ) "I over-amped on that g-damned bee pollen." We must've ( understandably ) given him an odd look, because he immediately told us Hodges had him on a diet of bee pollen which, according to Jimmy would get you in dead punch in a NY minute. Well... seemed like Jay was having second thoughts. I always thought that was a great excuse. Bee pollen. Oy vey...

There might be something to it. Pollen allergy isn't uncommon.

At times, it can feel like all the energy has been sucked-out of you.

 

[garczar]

Some of older guys around TX an OK will probably know.
"Agent Orange". Is what caused him to lose.
jack

The Driller. Gary Drennan. What a character that guy is.

 

[measureman]

But, you obviously weren't nearly as wired as he was.

Back in the '80s when nose candy was all the rage i did play "wired" a lot.
It helped that my best friend was a "candy" dealer.

 

[hurricane145]

My favorite was from a guy I knocked out of the losers bracket in a local tournament...
" If I practiced and played as much as you guys do I would be just as good!!"

Yeah well, that's kinda the point. You don't and you aren't!

On the other had I have had some really bad games that I won anyway.
My excuse for winning was as I told a friend "he knows I play better than him so no matter how badly I play he will always play WORSE!"

 

[vasilios]

What are the best / most creative excuses for losing you've either heard or, used?

Here's one from many years ago that is, at least to me, pretty amusing.

Family Billiards room owner and I were at a tournament in N. Carolina back in the early 80s and we ran into Jay Swanson there. He was scuffling around with Jimmy Hodges. We had just watched him lose a match pretty badly to someone he had no business losing to, especially in a race to 11. As we were talking to him, he said ( in regard to his loss ) "I over-amped on that g-damned bee pollen." We must've ( understandably ) given him an odd look, because he immediately told us Hodges had him on a diet of bee pollen which, according to Jimmy would get you in dead punch in a NY minute. Well... seemed like Jay was having second thoughts. I always thought that was a great excuse. Bee pollen. Oy vey...

Ha !!
I remember that period in time -
Jay and Jimmy came here to the beach right after that -
Jay stayed with his budddy Bobby while here and laid the chat on that B-pollen -
Bobby was the B-pollen instigator -
Jimmy stayed with Shane as usual -


bill

 

[TEAM SLO]

My son played and beat a fella two times in a tournament, won both times. Overheard him talking to his friend after the last one:

friend: how'd you do?
him: i lost
friend: against who?
him: Against that kid, my back is hurting, couldn't get in the game

***awkward silence between the two***

***me smiling inside*** One day I will tell my son some of the things he won't understand right now.

 

[jackpot]

Winner

The Driller. Gary Drennan. What a character that guy is.

He is definitely that. He had cards that said you just got drilled by the DRILLER
jack

 

[Michael Andros]

There might be something to it. Pollen allergy isn't uncommon.

At times, it can feel like all the energy has been sucked-out of you.

Yeah... I was just being facetious. Jay said it was a type of natural energy source. But he did insist he over-amped on it.

 

[Michael Andros]

Back in the '80s when nose candy was all the rage i did play "wired" a lot.
It helped that my best friend was a "candy" dealer.

I remember one player, a road runner for the most part, we used to call the "Demon Rat." His eyes were so red they looked like neon lights. Pilled up, big time. And candied up as well. And lots of beer...

Never missed a ball. "Better Pool Through Chemical Engineering."

 

[Michael Andros]

Ha !!
I remember that period in time -
Jay and Jimmy came here to the beach right after that -
Jay stayed with his budddy Bobby while here and laid the chat on that B-pollen -
Bobby was the B-pollen instigator -
Jimmy stayed with Shane as usual -


bill

Many moons ago. Many, many, many...

 

[GoldCrown]

Me...: I woke up before breakfast... I’m tired

 

[Michael Andros]

My favorite was from a guy I knocked out of the losers bracket in a local tournament...
" If I practiced and played as much as you guys do I would be just as good!!"

Yeah well, that's kinda the point. You don't and you aren't!

On the other had I have had some really bad games that I won anyway.
My excuse for winning was as I told a friend "he knows I play better than him so no matter how badly I play he will always play WORSE!"

Some truths are just self-evident, huh? :thumbup:

 

[dmb4231]

I was playing a guy one time who's excuse for missing his money ball was that he tripped as he went to shoot it!!