Okay, there's a lot of them, and to be fair most were stolen from the funny pic thread (that I'm still working my way through):
You own more scuffers than toothbrushes.
A pool case is considered essential luggage.
You know every tip size possible but forgot your own clothing sizes.
You use powder before you pick up your pen in the office.
Your wife greets every night with a somewhat disturbed look on her face and says 'Where is your match tonight'?
Your VHS tape of 'The Hustler' had to be replaced more than once because of use.
Some parts of your left hand (right for south paws) is permanently blue.
You think 'Bridge Over Troubled Waters' is a song about a foul called because sweat dropped on the ball being shot over.
You walk around the dinner table more than once before sitting down to eat.
Your term for male masturbation is "balls-in-hand".
When someone racks their brains, you still complain about the rack
You use shaft cleaner to wash your dick.
Someone says "check out the nice rack" and you look at the pool table instead of the girl.
When you buy a house, the selling point is whether there is a poolroom near.
Any clothing purchase is always based on whether blue chalk will stain it.
Travelling 1000 miles for a tournament seems perfectly reasonable.
You unconsciously start handicapping every sporting event you watch.
You're disappointed because the hotel pool sign means swimming pool not pool table.
You skip a family gathering so you can go to a cheap tournament, "win" 37 dollars, go home with less money and still have a great day.
When you're looking at a plate of peas and you have not found a dead one to run out.
When you clean your cues more then your car..Or self.
You go up to the bar and get a beer and a roll of quarters.
You make yourself late for work because you had to go back and get your cue.
When you go on a long trip, your cues take up half your baggage allowance.
You go to bars alone just to watch the pool on satellite TV.
Your buddy says "Look at that nice butt." and you actually look at her pool cue for a second. Then you say, "Ooops, I thought you meant her cue." and your buddy says, "I did."
Someone offers to sell you a bridge and you buy it.
Someone brings a Budweiser cue into the bar to play with and you suspect it has a Predator shaft and a Moori tip.
You can masse a Skittle with the eraser end of a pencil.
The trade-in value on your cue is more than the trade-in on your car.
You move a coin around the table during dinner.
You still lose sleep over a missed 6-ball in 1999.
You come home without chalk on your pants and your wife thinks you cheated.
You go into your stance when doing the dishes.
The masseuse asks you whether stress has given you the knots on your shoulders and neck and you say, "No, dragshots."
The poolhall owner feels betrayed because you spent the weekend with your girlfriend.
You factor in tournament entry fees and/or money matches to your monthly bills.
You can name the Last 5 U.S. OPEN winners quitckly but have to think about your answer for the last 5 presidents.
The poolroom mgr asks if you're here before he answers the phone.
When the kindergarten teacher holds up the number nine and your kid yells "money ball!"
You know what year you bought your favorite stick, but don't know what year your kid was born.
You can describe your cue in detail, but can't remember the color of your wife's eyes.
You consider taking out a loan to buy a pool cue.
When you flip someone off you can't avoid your thumb and forefinger touching.
You can talk about shafts, butts, racks, balls, tits, felt, and screw without laughing.
People stop asking 'What are you doing tonight?"
Your cue travels with you regardless of your plans for the evening.
The thought of dating a non-pool player is insane to you.
You avoid holding hands with your significant other in fear of your hand getting sticky.
You have a whole cue repair system in your case; ie. tips, glue...lathe.
You think a stock tip is what came on your McDermott.
You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "The Hustler" was snubbed for best picture.
You have forgotten and left groceries in the car overnight but never your cue.
You have ever referred to a loan to your buddy as "money on the wire".
Your wife asks "where should we go on vacation" you calculate where the best action is.
You hope your league team will be able to win again after the parole board meets.
You try and claim billiards training on your taxes as an educational expense.
You look at your cue and say that it has survived 5 signifigant others.
:yeah:
