JJ.....we gotta hear about the Mormons....tell me more, mon
-wow...long off topic story warning!
Oh hey. Didn’t mean to leave anyone wondering lol I just never checked back till now.
The backstory to all this is a thing of beauty, a masterpiece too grand to type out on an iPad or even tell in tale without a J and a drink and a while to collect my thoughts.
But...I was living crazy, had a bad habit, all my friends were disappearing and I knew I had gotten lazy on protecting myself from prosecution...with my friends most likely in the hands of the fuzz I decided to run. Me and my friend Paul. He had to pick up his hard drive at a pawn shop because it had the only pictures of his daughter who he had left with her mom some unknown time ago in his real life, before I knew him.
Look there I go off on a tangent already lol..it was true though and perfectly heartbreaking. I remember so vividly because I just wanted to run but we had to go somewhere we were known “one last time” ..well we got the hard drive and got out but someone literally got stabbed in the throat and mad cops pulled up while I was waiting for him in another lot. Had I not been such a steadfast friend I may have left him without cause.
Fast forward about 400 miles. We’re at this T intersection (or maybe I just remember it as a T?) and one sign pointed left and said Las Vegas, the other was right or straight towards Salt Lake City... our final destination was Bend, Oregon.
I wanted to maybe hang out around Vegas for a while doing the lowlife thing, see if anything worked out but Paul talked me out of it. Oregon it was. Weed. Nice people. Trees. It was gonna be grand.
We’re now coming up on Salt Lake City, home of Mormons and suspicious police (who’re Mormons). We haven’t stopped for a buzz since 9:30 at night, it’s now 4:30am. I wanna stop and get feeling ok again, Paul says just wait these Mormons are crazy I just wanna drive past their city ASAP. I says “ok”
We’re trying to slip unobtrusively past on the highway when I notice some headlights about 2 miles back or more. Straight roads. Maybe it wasn’t really 2 miles, but little headlights way back. I have a bad feeling. A few seconds later the headlights doubled in size, I start shoving things where the police can’t look until much later, 2nd time in my life..
It’s no use. The car is literally a rolling felony. Everything we owned was in the car, and most of it was incriminating. The car flies up until he’s right on our left bumper, we try the classic “let’s act like we’re taking this exit” ..
A lil later I’m in handcuffs in the dark on this exit, the cops have Paul on the opposite side of the car. I can’t type much more but I really enjoy thinking about how F’d everything was for me at one point. Paul has fugitive warrants, but they don’t tell me this yet of course.
I had a large amount of contraband hidden in my person, and one tiny little chunk of felonious material in my 5th pocket that I completely forgot about! I was away from the cops for almost an hour as they searched this treasure trove of evidence, plenty of time to do anything with it. My stomach sank when the cop finally got around to searching me and I saw that sitting on the hood.
So aaanyway, I decide to take the heat for everything in my car, with the plan of giving Paul my fat stack of cash to bail me out immediately. I’m going down already anyway regardless, and my condition at the time required me to be on the streets and medicating 4-5 times a day. Nothing mattered as long as I could get out of their custody before insanity set in.
It didn’t work. We both end up in cars, heading to the jail house. I got to talking to my captor on the way and he was indeed a Mormon. I asked him why the F@#$ he even ran up on me like he did, we were cruise controlling 5 over, he said he thought we were meth heads...no proper Mormon would be out driving at 4am and a dead empty highway.
What followed was the worst detox I’ve been through, horrendous hallucinations and out of control bodily functions, but they never did find the things I had stashed. During in processing I went in the bathroom, took everything out, and simply put it in the pockets of my already thoroughly searched jeans. The old switcharoo. Though by the time I got out I was feeling great lol, nice and clean and sane...and I got out to a pocket full of bad stuff.
In defense of pool players everywhere I hadn’t even discovered the game at this time, so this isn’t more evidence of seedy pool players, just a tale of a guy who hadn’t found the way yet lol