So I recently bought one of these Chinese ball cleaners you see with various brand names on Amazon and eBay. Lots of guys have them. $329, great deal (link).
I’ve been using it every few days to clean my like-new Centennials. It does a great job. It has only one 2-cycle action: it spins a felt-covered platter beneath the balls in one direction for about a minute, then slows down and stops for about 10 seconds, then spins the other direction for a minute before stopping. It’s a powerful motor and the balls spin at an extremely fast rate.
Anyway, that’s the backstory. Tonight, I decided to try something new with it to make sure the balls got evenly polished, since they tend to spin on one axis only. After the first minute was done, I turned the machine off, lifted the lid, and used my fingers to turn each ball about a quarter turn. Then I closed the lid and turned the machine back on, feeling smart about figuring out that issue.
After a minute it slowed down and stopped. I lifted the lid, then unsnapped and removed the ball-holder piece (the piece with all the felt-lined round holes), same way I’ve done dozens of times, so I can grab the 16 clean balls off the platter. I should note here that the platter has these hard plastic dividers that stick up about a half inch, around the middle area, I guess to keep the piece I removed aligned.
Well, remember that 10 second pause between cycles I mentioned? In my new and improved process, somehow I forgot that the machine was now only in its 10-second pause phase, prior to spinning the other direction. I was just about to grab a couple balls with each hand when the damn thing started back up, FAST, and balls started flying everywhere. The noise was like 2 or 3 break shots at once.
At first, after screaming SH*T or maybe F$&K, I just froze, trying to understand what was happening. It sorta looked like those ping pong ball lottery number air mixers that used to be on TV, and my first instinct was to try to catch them before they flew off the bar and onto the porcelain tile floor, or popped up in the air where they could break a shelf full of liquor bottles. Turns out I couldn’t catch even one of them. Giving up on that strategy, I finally did the only smart thing in this whole story, and turned the power switch off. As the platter started to slow down, I could hear about half of the balls still bouncing and rolling on the tile across the pool room, and I could see another couple rolling down the bar counter. But it was the 6 balls that had miraculously stayed on the platter, just bouncing around on top of it, that took the worse of it.
After it finally stopped, I looked at them first. They were shredded. They looked like the victims of a cougar attack. In the center of the platter is a big 1/2” machine screw with a nut on it, spinning at the same 1,000 rpm’s or so with the platter, and apparently it’s a lot tougher than Belgian phenolic resin.
I turned around sheepishly to see if my wife was still sitting in the living room, 35 feet away in clear view of where I was, and unfortunately she was. She had witnessed the whole event, and was staring at me with this look on her face that told me she knew she had married an idiot.
I finally rounded up all the balls, which were in 3 different rooms of the house. All had a deep scratch or gouge or two, but those 6 that stayed on the platter were toast. My brand new measles pro cup ball was one of the victims.
The good news is, the machine came through unscathed, only a few inconsequential chips in the plastic. It’s tough as nails.
Hopefully, if you’re reading this and have one of these machines, you won’t be as stupid as me. After carefully thinking it over, I don’t think a 10-second shut down in the middle of two cycles is a great design. Something this powerful should only start up when you push a button. I wonder how many new owners have taken the ball guard off like I did during that downtime, not even knowing it was going to start up again.
Related question: who has the best pricing on new Centennials or top-shelf Aramiths?
I’ve been using it every few days to clean my like-new Centennials. It does a great job. It has only one 2-cycle action: it spins a felt-covered platter beneath the balls in one direction for about a minute, then slows down and stops for about 10 seconds, then spins the other direction for a minute before stopping. It’s a powerful motor and the balls spin at an extremely fast rate.
Anyway, that’s the backstory. Tonight, I decided to try something new with it to make sure the balls got evenly polished, since they tend to spin on one axis only. After the first minute was done, I turned the machine off, lifted the lid, and used my fingers to turn each ball about a quarter turn. Then I closed the lid and turned the machine back on, feeling smart about figuring out that issue.
After a minute it slowed down and stopped. I lifted the lid, then unsnapped and removed the ball-holder piece (the piece with all the felt-lined round holes), same way I’ve done dozens of times, so I can grab the 16 clean balls off the platter. I should note here that the platter has these hard plastic dividers that stick up about a half inch, around the middle area, I guess to keep the piece I removed aligned.
Well, remember that 10 second pause between cycles I mentioned? In my new and improved process, somehow I forgot that the machine was now only in its 10-second pause phase, prior to spinning the other direction. I was just about to grab a couple balls with each hand when the damn thing started back up, FAST, and balls started flying everywhere. The noise was like 2 or 3 break shots at once.
At first, after screaming SH*T or maybe F$&K, I just froze, trying to understand what was happening. It sorta looked like those ping pong ball lottery number air mixers that used to be on TV, and my first instinct was to try to catch them before they flew off the bar and onto the porcelain tile floor, or popped up in the air where they could break a shelf full of liquor bottles. Turns out I couldn’t catch even one of them. Giving up on that strategy, I finally did the only smart thing in this whole story, and turned the power switch off. As the platter started to slow down, I could hear about half of the balls still bouncing and rolling on the tile across the pool room, and I could see another couple rolling down the bar counter. But it was the 6 balls that had miraculously stayed on the platter, just bouncing around on top of it, that took the worse of it.
After it finally stopped, I looked at them first. They were shredded. They looked like the victims of a cougar attack. In the center of the platter is a big 1/2” machine screw with a nut on it, spinning at the same 1,000 rpm’s or so with the platter, and apparently it’s a lot tougher than Belgian phenolic resin.
I turned around sheepishly to see if my wife was still sitting in the living room, 35 feet away in clear view of where I was, and unfortunately she was. She had witnessed the whole event, and was staring at me with this look on her face that told me she knew she had married an idiot.
I finally rounded up all the balls, which were in 3 different rooms of the house. All had a deep scratch or gouge or two, but those 6 that stayed on the platter were toast. My brand new measles pro cup ball was one of the victims.
The good news is, the machine came through unscathed, only a few inconsequential chips in the plastic. It’s tough as nails.
Hopefully, if you’re reading this and have one of these machines, you won’t be as stupid as me. After carefully thinking it over, I don’t think a 10-second shut down in the middle of two cycles is a great design. Something this powerful should only start up when you push a button. I wonder how many new owners have taken the ball guard off like I did during that downtime, not even knowing it was going to start up again.
Related question: who has the best pricing on new Centennials or top-shelf Aramiths?
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