Top 25 Great Drinking Quotes! Bonus, pool player quoted

DeadPoked

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http://www.onmylist.com/category/food_drink/Great_drinking_quotes_1

From the article:

1 Beer, the cause of and solution to, all life's problems.
Homer Simpson

2 I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal labotomy.
Tom Waits. Man, he has a way with words.

3 All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer.
Homer Simpson

4 I drink to make other people interesting.
George Jean Nathan.

5 Work is the curse of the drinking classes
Oscar Wilde. Another master of putting words together in ways that stick true.

6 I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
Frank Sinatra

7 The Smoker You Drink, The Player You Get
Joe Walsh

8 Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets
Arthur, played by Dudley Moore.

9 Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
Anonymous

10 They talk of my drinking but never my thirst.
Scottish saying.

11 When I realized that what I had turned out to be was a lousy, two-bit pool hustler and drunk, I wasn't depressed at all. I was glad to have a profession.
Danny McGoorty

12 Drinking is a way of ending the day.
Earnest Hemingway.

13 I never eat breakfast on an empty stomach.
WC Fields

14 An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
Earnest Hemingway

15 You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
Frank Zappa

16 Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.
Henry Lawson

17 This is one of the disadvantages of wine; it makes a man mistake words for thoughts.
Samuel Johnson

18 The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just stupid.
Richard Braunstein

19 I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds, and fast cars. The rest I just squandered.
George Best

20 There can't be good living where there is not good drinking.
Ben Franklin

21 They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that the ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.
Casey Stengel

22 I'm not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
Noel Coward

23 Why is there so much wine left at the end of my money?
Milan Maximovich

24 Do not allow children to mix drinks. It is unseemly and they use too much vermouth.
Steve Allen. Love the glasses!

25 The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.
Martin Mull
 
Chicken Soup for the Beer Drinkers

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"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver." by Jack Handy

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"An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools." Ernest Hemingway

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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." Henny Youngman

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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" Brian O'Rourke

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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." Benjamin Franklin

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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." Dave Barry

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Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

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And saving the best for last, As explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:

"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. "In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Fats
 
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