I haven't taken time to read the entire thread, but this is my response to your original post.
In all areas of life, you're going to meet people that will knowingly let you make a mistake so they may benefit from it.
This wasn't the APA that did this to you, it was one captain of one team.
Yes, you were wrong. Yes, he was a jerkoff for waiting for your error in order to put his team in a better position.
In my area, almost every team knows one another. MOST teams will work together in the spirit of fair competition. We'll let people play over the cap if they need to (or just ask them to forfeit the 5th match), we'll tell another team's player to mark their pocket on the 8 ball, we'll give up ball in hand on a questionable hit, etc.
Most teams do this. There are some teams, however, that follow the rules to the letter and relish those moments where they can gain from your mistake.That's just the way it is.
You ran into one of those teams. Move on.
In the end, talent trumps shortcuts. Play on and expect a few bumps here and there. Don't be surprised when a team does this to you. Accept it and know that they're not the norm.
You were wrong and he called you on it. A lot of teams wouldn't have let your player break and would have asked that you forfeit the final match. That would have been the "right" thing to do, in my opinion.
Best,
Mike