I believe my edited post covers what the fear is of, fear of failure, of losing, of what others will think of you if you choke, under perform, lose, or be the cause of a loss in a team sport environment.
Years ago I had in depth conversation with a Sports Psychologist who had worked with many athletes of multiple sports. Both youthful ones and adult professional athletes. He said that the number one issue he has dealt with from those that seek his services is very talented athletes who, while talented athletes at whatever their choice of sport, their practice game does not transfer to their competition game. That in practice they perform flawlessly, but falter in competition. He stated in that every case, the athletes themselves felt that for some reason they couldn’t determine, “they cave under the pressure of competition”. He said that in every instance, when questioning them about it, found that the root cause was FEAR. Fear of losing, of failure, of how others will think of them, their peers, their family, in team sports their teammates or coaches, fear of letting them down.
He stated that the method of solving their issues is not the ability to give them some magical advice to help them to overcome it. But that it was in guiding a conversation, a discussion with them, therapy if you will. To get them to reveal how they “feel” in practice where they perform well and to the full abilities they have developed over years of dedication. Then getting them to discuss how the “feel” when in competition and are underperforming.
To let them identify the difference, that it’s better when they can describe it themselves, that difference. He said that almost to a person, most describe their practice or preparation as being “fun”. But that prior to competition, and once competition starts, they don’t describe it as being fun. That some throw up beforehand, they’re nervous, jittery, overly conscious of “what lies at stake”, if they underperform or fail, or choke.
That once he gets them to verbalize the difference in how they feel, he can help them understand that there’s truly no difference between practice and competition. That they’ve put in the time, they’ve honed their abilities. That the fact that they can perform flawlessly in practice, indicates they have the necessary skills to compete. To understand that the difference is their perception in those situations. That in practice they are focused on the process, not a result, as there is nothing at stake. But that in competition, there’s now something “at stake”. They become focused on “the result”, because it’s important to them, it’s why they spent years developing their skills. That this change in perspective, in focusing on the result, instead of the process, is why their game in competition never matches that of their practice game. To teach them that it is natural to feel “pregame nerves”, that it’s their body preparing them to perform because their body understands it’s important to them. To understand, that like I said in my last post, that it’s just body chemistry, and that there is no difference in the brains chemistry when excited or when afraid, that the difference is you’re breathing and relaxed when excited. But in moments of fear, your breathing is shallow, halting, that you’re tense. You lose sight of process because you’re focused on the result. That ultimately, you have to learn to let go, to embrace it and trust in your skills that you have developed. To have fun, the reason you started playing in the first place.
edit: my favorite quote ends with, "the fall will probably kill ya anyway. "
