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What's this thing they call a tournament?

Pete's the fu$^ing man. Period. I've had this cue for almost ever. I sold it once and bought it back. Begged the guy. My Omen is simple and hits as good as anything made. This cue has seen more action than an elderly hooker. I've five dollared the whole world with my Omen. Thanks Pete...

Handle it, man. Go get things done right. Good luck, Jay.

Does everyone ***** about the rack and humidity, or is it just us?

Don't count Mikey out. Give him three drinks, and he'll aggravate Earl so bad that it could be fun. At one time, Mike was the slight favorite. There, I said it. And so was Varner. Take that.

T-A-I-C-A-N ? Good luck bidding on this knockoff. Although I've hit with a Taican and loved it.

No offense, but be careful. Watch out for the guy who does this for about three days in a row, then pulls out an Omen and asks you to play this race for $500. What do you do then? You've been beating on him for quite a while now. Do you do it? I've went to a bar once a week for over a two...

You can nickle and dime the bars to death. You might win three hundy and never have to show any speed. If you hit a poolroom, you'd better have your resume' together and pictures and references to play a race to seven for $20. Then, you must outrun the nuts. More money is gonna be made on...

It's a business. You are supposed to have fun and drink beer and somewhat compete with the "Vegas Trip" looming over your head. (By the way, you can go to a large tournament at least twice for what you pay to play league.) The bar/poolroom makes cash from beer, food, etc. The league makes...

I absolutely love the APA 4 who gets ready for the match and puts his phones on. I just want to ask why? What are you blocking out? I mean, in your vast experience, will this help? Why not armweights, kneepads and ankle weights like Earl? Because, obviously you'd seen someone you look up to...

I think everyone should use an 80" cue. Everyone. Can't you picture Efren, or Efram (as Jimmy Mataya and Earl call him)?

Dip it in urine and then let it dry. Seriously. The acid in the urine will shrink the leather. Just ask the Cherokee Indians. Hey, you don't have to tell everybody you did it, unless it works.

Just opened a carpet store and hired a second salesperson. Bleeding ulcer along with a terrible reflux, an unexplained growth in the lining of my stomach. What else? Oh yes, asthma has increased with the reflux and retention of water. So.... Cali will have to wait. Thanks for asking. I...

Now, you just reached the 99.9353th percentile. I actually do the math based on my travels and experiences in varied poolrooms.

In college, after having a rough night, one of our roommates passed out in his bed. We carried him on top of his mattress outside. He woke up the next morning, and we were sitting on the porch drinking our coffee and burning one. Funny as hell.

All those tests don't mean a bag of testes to me. When someone hits you with a five pack for a grand and you're playing ten ahead..... how do you react? That will show me. The difference between a good player and a player is . . . well? Huh? Fading the packs. Hell, every swinging di#$...

Damn, you sound like 95% of people in the pool world. You forgot about having the "would be" player sign a contract saying that you have three balls the best of it.

Some of you guys are just no fun any more. Here I am with all kinds of health problems, and come on here to read, harrass, and enjoy. Can't we just all get along? Question for you.... Tim Scruggs have these problems? Pete Ohman? Searing? Anybody getting the drift? Professionalism and...

Ya'll fu@#ers got WWAAAYYY too much time on your hands. Hell, I guess I do too.

I'm pretty sure it's your stance. That little thing you do with your tongue out right as you make contact with the cueball is also causing you problems. Also, try not to hum Salt n' Pepa's Push It while you're in your backswing. This is very, very distracting even if you don't think it is...