bad sportsmanship??

dukeboy1977

dukeboy1977

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
OK, I'm gonna be completely honest here. I'm a player who plays with his "heart on his sleeve" so to speak. In other words, I voice my opinion, basically to myself, kinda like Jeanette Lee. Anyways, my doing so either gets people to really like me or really hate me, but I've tried to quit and just play horribly, so it's kinda like a stress reliever for me I guess. My team played a team last night which consists of some guys that don't like me cause I do this, and they say I have bad sportsmanship because of it. My question is this: If I'm the one with "bad sportsmanship", why is it I was the one willing to shake their hands before and after the matches, and say "good luck" before the match...And all I got was ignored, or snubbed off...Isn't THAT bad sportsmanship? Regardless of what happens outside of leagues, wouldn't a REAL sportsman at least wish you luck BEFORE the match? I got nothing from 3 out of 4 of em'!!!! Now, who's the bad sportsman here? Everyone who has played with me knows I talk to myself during a match...Usually complaining at myself for doing something stupid! When I'm the one willing to shake hands before, and say good game afterwards whether I win or lose, who's the BAD sportsman here? I would say its THEM, not me! I get this from a few select players in my league...1 even posts here, but I'm not naming him. So, whats the deal here? I have been told by the 1 guy on this team who I'm kinda friends with, that they don't want me on their team because of my sportsmanship...When mine is better than theirs I think! I will mention this to my "friend" today at the state tourney and see what he has to say about this...Probably nothing good, I'm sure! lol ANYONE else here voice their opinion during play? What kind of reaction did YOU get, or DO you get? I wanna discuss this so feel free to chime in with thoughts. I look forward to discussing this issue!! Jeff
 
anger

I have had to explain to many people that I'm frustrated with my play not theirs because they see me getting pissed and they think it's because of them.As long as you only talk during your turn f###em!
 
tap, tap, tap!!!!!

bigg7 said:
I have had to explain to many people that I'm frustrated with my play not theirs because they see me getting pissed and they think it's because of them.As long as you only talk during your turn f###em!
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I can't agree with this statement more!! rep points for you on the way!!
 
Jeff ...

I also have talked to myself, even cussing at myself on occasion, and I am considered a good sport, at least several opponents have told me I am a good sport. I have even had people, after I got some of their money, tell me that they like to gamble with me because I am such a good sport .... Now that is a compliment to me...... LOL

Perhaps you might come off as being a little arrogant, or full of yourself, without you realizing it. Some might think you have more eqo than skill.

One reality check you could do, is to ask a friend of yours that you play with regularly is how you would come off as a player if he was an opponent. You could have table manners that could connotate a negative feeling to your opponents.

I know when I was younger, and played pretty fast and sure, that many people that did not know me thought I was pretty cocky because of the way I was when I was at the table, but as I matured more, and Father time catches up with you, slowing you down some, it goes away, as long as you continue to be a good sport, win or lose.

BTW, Are we due for your review on your new Shurtz cue?
 
ok

Snapshot9 said:
I also have talked to myself, even cussing at myself on occasion, and I am considered a good sport, at least several opponents have told me I am a good sport. I have even had people, after I got some of their money, tell me that they like to gamble with me because I am such a good sport .... Now that is a compliment to me...... LOL

Perhaps you might come off as being a little arrogant, or full of yourself, without you realizing it. Some might think you have more eqo than skill.

One reality check you could do, is to ask a friend of yours that you play with regularly is how you would come off as a player if he was an opponent. You could have table manners that could connotate a negative feeling to your opponents.

I know when I was younger, and played pretty fast and sure, that many people that did not know me thought I was pretty cocky because of the way I was when I was at the table, but as I matured more, and Father time catches up with you, slowing you down some, it goes away, as long as you continue to be a good sport, win or lose.

BTW, Are we due for your review on your new Shurtz cue?
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OK, I'll do that. Thanks for the tip. Everyone around here knows I play well...I just get irritated with myself when I find I did something stupid...Its a good thing the stupidity is going away, huh? lol I seem to be playing some of the best pool I've ever played IMO...I'll make a thread about my shurtz cue...ok?
 
By chance is your name Earl? :p :D

I would agree... talking during your turn only is fine, but when you sit down, let it go. You aren't screaming like a wild banshee or anything are you?

Is there something else that you may be possibly doing causing their dissension?

If that's all they are basing it on then screw em. And if they don't shake hands don't take it personally, but keep offering. When they don't shake your hand at the beginning, say well win or lose I will still shake hands at the end.

I think that not shaking hands shows not only poor sportsmanship, it shows a very poor character. You are showing your sportsmanship and character before and after a match and that's all you really need to be concerned with. The rest is water off a duck's back so to speak.

Craig
 
A bunch of people are refusing to shake your hand because you talk to yourself? Are you sure you didn't sleep with all of their sisters?
 
i look at shaking hands & "good luck" before a match alot like boxers touching gloves before a match. I would definately consider another player that refused to shake my hand a very bad sportsman.

And also, alot like you, i like to congratulate or berate myself while playing. As long as i'm not "sharking" the opposing player or other players at other tables, i really don't see a problem.

So long story short. If everything is like you say, I agree with you.

%$!#@$% them:)
 
I think that they may be over reacting to the tension you are causing at the table,even though its self directed. You should really avoid negative self talk though, just work on replacing the negative thoughts with positive. Use the Bob Henning technique and when she think something negative just say cancel, and replace it with a better thought. Just my 2 cents.
 
Maybe its not that you talk to yourself but that you do it too loudly to make sure they hear? Then it gets in their head and are pissed about it cause they do not have the mental capacity to block it out and play their game. It seems to me that it is almost reverse sharking on your part, doing it when you are at the table. You might not mean it that way but some of the comments may frustrate them and get them out of their game. Just a thought...

I was playing in a bigger tourney this past weekend and there was a prominent pretty well known player shooting on the table right next to mine. On several occasions, twice when I was not at the table and once when I was down on a shot, he missed a shot and send out a very loud shout of "WHHATTT?!?!" or "GEEEZZZ" that people could hear across the room let alone right next to him. When I was down on the shot I calmly stood up...looked at him for a moment, shook my head, walked around the table, got back in focus, and made the shot. It was in my mind when I was about to shoot being pissed that he was so inconsiderate of the other players but I guess everyone blows up once in a while. I won the match regardless.
 
Duke -

I haven't been there but will say that if several on your team and the opponents teams seem to feel this way, there is probably something to it. Perhaps something you are doing that you don't even realize.

I would try to watch someone play that everyone agrees is a "good sport" and compare my behavior and composure to his. See how he reacts to his own successes and failures and those of his opponents and visualize your actions in the same situations. Then you should know what people are talking about and can decide whether to try to change your behavior or not. In the end, it is up to you.
 
I am good friends with a big gorilla of a man in a Wyoming league that is in the exact same position as you. We are friends because I recognize his desire to compete well and win. Most other people hate to play him for two reasons. First, because they know that they will probably lose the game. Second, because he is a bad sport. People do not want him on their team even though he wins a lot. Why is that? Are people reacting to him without reason? Nope. He deserves every bit of their scorn and distain. I have taught him how to behave better, but sadly, he already burned too many bridges.

Being a great league player is more than just winning. You need to cultivate relationships with the other players.

What have you done to earn their respect? Do you ask how their families are? Do you know the names of their wives and kids? Do you give their playing ability (however good or bad) respect? Try offering your ear along with your handshake. Listen to them and respect them as people. Respect them as gamesmen struggling on the same hill you are trying to climb.

Offer something of yourself besides your ability to compete and win. Cultivate relationships by giving something of yourself. Start by shooting with various players and gently teaching them the game. God forbid that you should be friends with someone on another team!

A great league player is one that can kick your butt up between your ears, but does so in a classy manner, elevating the game to serious competition, thus making it a great experience for both players even though one player lost.

Unless you are hustling (we can discuss morality issues of that path later), you should offer your opponent respect and every opportunity to shoot their best game. Period. That means that you step away from the table, sit down, and shut up.

This will do two things for you. First, crying and whining or b*tching yourself out is a strong sign of weakness. Stop it now. You will become a better player instantly. Second, by beating your opponents when you ARE offering them the opportunity to shoot their best game – you have a clear and undiluted sense of the level you are playing at.

Mumbling to yourself while your opponent is shooting is certainly not good etiquette and could be poor sportsmanship.

You are in a position where you are confused about how people are reacting to you, but you obviously don’t know the whole story. If you act like a jackass, you will get treated like a jackass. If you offer friendship and quality competition, people will respond favorably.

Start respecting other people and cultivating relationships and behaving properly and you will discover the true value of league play and will reach new heights of enjoyment AND you will also improve your game. Take that to the bank.
 
GADawg said:
Duke -

I haven't been there but will say that if several on your team and the opponents teams seem to feel this way, there is probably something to it. Perhaps something you are doing that you don't even realize.

I would try to watch someone play that everyone agrees is a "good sport" and compare my behavior and composure to his. See how he reacts to his own successes and failures and those of his opponents and visualize your actions in the same situations. Then you should know what people are talking about and can decide whether to try to change your behavior or not. In the end, it is up to you.
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Exactly! Rep point for you GADawg! You cut to the heart of the problem and offered a solution. Good post.
 
"Perhaps you might come off as being a little arrogant, or full of yourself, without you realizing it. Some might think you have more eqo than skill."

My 1st thoughts as well. Nailed it.

"This will do two things for you. First, crying and whining or b*tching yourself out is a strong sign of weakness. Stop it now. You will become a better player instantly. Second, by beating your opponents when you ARE offering them the opportunity to shoot their best game – you have a clear and undiluted sense of the level you are playing at."

Yup.

Imagine someone is video taping you, or you are forced to watch yourself in a mirror during and in game wearing you heart on your sleeve charade.

You may not like what you see.

I've done this, and it has brought my game up to a new plateau; Just shut your mouth, don't wear any expression or efface on your face, NO MATTER WHAT happens on the table. Look at the Euros, even the under 20 year olds can win and lose big and you would never know it from their expressions or body language. Sounds like you and others around you would benfit greatly.
 
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As others have said, my guess is there is something else you may be doing. Easy to not see the effect something you are doing has on another. I am not saying this without ever being guilty of it either. I have done things in competitive situations without really knowing what effect it would have on others. I would guess the same is true for most people who play something competitively. I would suggest that if it is to the point where some don't want you on the team, there is a problem somewhere, and not just with them. Such things are usually two way streets. Also, simply being courteous before and after the match aren't enough. As to them not shaking hands, it is tough to say. To me it indicates there is something you need to look into.

I think the occasional sign of frustration is natural. I have only done it about a million times. But you know what. Nobody cares, and nobody wants to hear it. Your friends don't care and at best your opponents don't care. At worst they are happy for your misfortune and take some glee in your frustration. Somewhere in between they just think you are behaving badly. Everybody who plays a sport will at some time get upset, but it is best to minimize outward reaction. I know I play better if I either stay neutral or positive. When I get on the negative self talk, and I can easily fall into this, I do worse. So there are lots of good reasons to stop the outbursts as much as you can IMO.
 
I think people play pool for fun, not to stress out and not to hear complaints. Theres enough of that at work already. So theres the reaction. :cool: As far as shaking hands, I think its over-rated. I don't want my hand crunched by a gorilla before play.
 
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Back in my league days, a friend of mine told me, "You're the only guy I know that b#@$hes himself out while he's running out." For the longest time, I didn't even realize I was doing this.

To some of these guys, it's not like life or death, it's much more important than that. LOL. They didn't come to have fun, they came to do battle.

It takes a little discipline but what I found out works best for me is to play "mum" pool during a match. Not saying a word to my opponent or my team mates while I'm playing. I stay totally focussed on the match and I'm oblivious to everything going on except what's happening on the table.
Because there are no distractions, my game actually jumps up a notch.

As far as being considered a bad sport, get to know these guys away from the table. Get them talking about themselves and you never know, you might learn something you didn't know.

Good luck and good shooting!

Stones
 
dukeboy1977 said:
When I'm the one willing to shake hands before, and say good game afterwards whether I win or lose, who's the BAD sportsman here? I would say its THEM, not me! I get this from a few select players in my league...1 even posts here, but I'm not naming him. So, whats the deal here? I have been told by the 1 guy on this team who I'm kinda friends with, that they don't want me on their team because of my sportsmanship...When mine is better than theirs I think! I will mention this to my "friend" today at the state tourney and see what he has to say about this...Probably nothing good, I'm sure! lol ANYONE else here voice their opinion during play? What kind of reaction did YOU get, or DO you get? I wanna discuss this so feel free to chime in with thoughts. I look forward to discussing this issue!! Jeff
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Maybe your memory is as bad as your attitude, but I remember wishing you luck before our game and congratulating you after our game.
I've held my tongue long enough...
GET A CLUE, JEFF, IT'S NOT THE REST OF THE WORLD, IT'S YOU.
Oh, by the way, how does it feel to disrespect a girl, and then have your a## handed to you?
Was that a display of your "good sportsmanship"?
 
This is a topic that alot of people can relate to....including myself. When I first started getting a little better playing pool and understanding the game more, I used to get so frustrated with myself cursing, slamming balls, even tossing my cue. I even had people tell me that they really didnt want to gamble with me b/c of my temper. Then I read an article in one of the billiard magazines about this subject. Basically it said we get mad at ourselves b/c we expect alot from ourselves. I mean you put alot of time, money and effort into something and then you make a stupid mistake...can get you hot. But, the article went on to explain that if you can somehow harnis this frustration and turn it to your advantage and make yourself play harder, you will be amazed at how your playing and rational thinking will improve. I also had someone that has known me and helped me ever since I first pick up a cue tell me the same thing. He is a regular poster on AZ and his name on here is Stick8. I have taken my game to a somewhat higher level and I feel that this article and Stick8 are to thank for it. Good luck and never let anyone put out your flame or your desire to compete.

Southpaw
 
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