This was found on a blog about 2 Filipinos fighting in a bar over pool. I take it the writer is from England. I guess what it points out is that we all need to be cognizant of the impact of our words and actions around the pool table on random observers.
http://blogs.bootsnall.com/mbsloney/?p=228
"“Never ascribe to conspiracy that which can be adequately explained by incompetence.”
-Napoleon Bonaparte
More on that in a moment. Had a fairly relaxed week…even by my standards. Did some diving…polished off the latest shipments of magazines from home…and drained a few beers. Also did a bit of language study and made some progress on my book. But mostly kicked back and pondered experiences I’ve had lately, and what they mean.
Last year I offered up my humble opinion on ‘the critical human attributes.’ These were pretty simple – I believe my short list comprised 1. the ability to compartmentalize, 2. wit, and 3. grace. There might have been another added later on, I don’t recall. I was prompted to add to this list during the past week, when I spent a couple nights in a local tavern and observed the absence of thoughtful behavior.
The Honeycomb Sports Bar (part of the burgeoning Honeycomb hotel complex) is not a particularly promising establishment, at least when viewed from the street. It’s a newish place, and I suspect most people walk by it numerous times before peeking in. At least that’s what I did. But I finally entered for a beer earlier this week. Fairly nice interior – and a good pool table, the setting for a billiards game between a few foreigners. Sat at the little bar and ordered a beer.
Not 10 minutes later voices rose behind me. Not sure what happened, but it seems one player was accusing the other of poor sportsmanship, and of not honoring a bet. Tempers flared…they got in each other’s face…looked like fistplay was likely. After a few minutes things cooled off. But it was an ugly scene, one between foreigners to boot. And while there are plenty of conflicts between drunken Pinoys in dark bars all over the country, one hopes that we foreign visitors (and residents) behave with more class. Obviously that’s a pipe dream.
While the two lads were screaming at each other, the bartenders/maids and I traded some looks of disgust. The combatants were oblivious to everyone in the bar but themselves, and to me that was the crux of the problem. Some people are completely lacking in self-awareness, or mindfulness, or contextual understanding, or whatever you want to call it. It’s painful to watch these people blunder through their environment. The wake they leave behind is large and threatening.
The more aggressive of the two idiots was in the bar a couple nights later – he walked in with another foreigner a few minutes after I arrived. The fellow is mean-looking and has a countenance that sucks energy from everyone around him. You wonder if he has any clue that he looks so menacing.
By that time my cumulative time in the bar had been enough for all the employees to know my name, and vice versa. It’s pretty interesting – I would estimate that in the past week, since I arrived here in Dumaguete, 50+ locals already know my name, which is often rendered as ‘Sir Michaell’ or ‘Sir Mike.’ Even the employees of the local Internet café know it – and I don’t recall giving it to them. Try to beat that in a Western city. It’s a bit daunting – soon thousands of people will know my name and where I’m staying. I don’t give out that info to everyone I meet, but it’s such a benign town, and people are generally so friendly/passive, that I see no harm.
Anyway…back to the Honeycomb Sports Bar. Within the space of 5 minutes the idiot was in a shouting match with someone – not sure if it was his foreign friend, or with a local. Again, the bartenders and I shared a private joke. I mean, the guy was just oblivious, and he must have some deep-rooted issues to move to anger so often/quickly. I also suspect, based on his brusque treatment of the bar staff, that he’s not the most empathetic person around. Not the sort of person who’s fun to debate – it’s not like he’d bother to walk a mile in your shoes, and challenging him might require the acquisition of a sharp object in advance.
So let’s add self-awareness and empathy to the short (but growing) list of attributes to prioritize. We can consider it a list of characteristics to work on while you’re traveling, meeting all sorts of weird people and having misadventures…"
-Napoleon Bonaparte
More on that in a moment. Had a fairly relaxed week…even by my standards. Did some diving…polished off the latest shipments of magazines from home…and drained a few beers. Also did a bit of language study and made some progress on my book. But mostly kicked back and pondered experiences I’ve had lately, and what they mean.
Last year I offered up my humble opinion on ‘the critical human attributes.’ These were pretty simple – I believe my short list comprised 1. the ability to compartmentalize, 2. wit, and 3. grace. There might have been another added later on, I don’t recall. I was prompted to add to this list during the past week, when I spent a couple nights in a local tavern and observed the absence of thoughtful behavior.
The Honeycomb Sports Bar (part of the burgeoning Honeycomb hotel complex) is not a particularly promising establishment, at least when viewed from the street. It’s a newish place, and I suspect most people walk by it numerous times before peeking in. At least that’s what I did. But I finally entered for a beer earlier this week. Fairly nice interior – and a good pool table, the setting for a billiards game between a few foreigners. Sat at the little bar and ordered a beer.
Not 10 minutes later voices rose behind me. Not sure what happened, but it seems one player was accusing the other of poor sportsmanship, and of not honoring a bet. Tempers flared…they got in each other’s face…looked like fistplay was likely. After a few minutes things cooled off. But it was an ugly scene, one between foreigners to boot. And while there are plenty of conflicts between drunken Pinoys in dark bars all over the country, one hopes that we foreign visitors (and residents) behave with more class. Obviously that’s a pipe dream.
While the two lads were screaming at each other, the bartenders/maids and I traded some looks of disgust. The combatants were oblivious to everyone in the bar but themselves, and to me that was the crux of the problem. Some people are completely lacking in self-awareness, or mindfulness, or contextual understanding, or whatever you want to call it. It’s painful to watch these people blunder through their environment. The wake they leave behind is large and threatening.
The more aggressive of the two idiots was in the bar a couple nights later – he walked in with another foreigner a few minutes after I arrived. The fellow is mean-looking and has a countenance that sucks energy from everyone around him. You wonder if he has any clue that he looks so menacing.
By that time my cumulative time in the bar had been enough for all the employees to know my name, and vice versa. It’s pretty interesting – I would estimate that in the past week, since I arrived here in Dumaguete, 50+ locals already know my name, which is often rendered as ‘Sir Michaell’ or ‘Sir Mike.’ Even the employees of the local Internet café know it – and I don’t recall giving it to them. Try to beat that in a Western city. It’s a bit daunting – soon thousands of people will know my name and where I’m staying. I don’t give out that info to everyone I meet, but it’s such a benign town, and people are generally so friendly/passive, that I see no harm.
Anyway…back to the Honeycomb Sports Bar. Within the space of 5 minutes the idiot was in a shouting match with someone – not sure if it was his foreign friend, or with a local. Again, the bartenders and I shared a private joke. I mean, the guy was just oblivious, and he must have some deep-rooted issues to move to anger so often/quickly. I also suspect, based on his brusque treatment of the bar staff, that he’s not the most empathetic person around. Not the sort of person who’s fun to debate – it’s not like he’d bother to walk a mile in your shoes, and challenging him might require the acquisition of a sharp object in advance.
So let’s add self-awareness and empathy to the short (but growing) list of attributes to prioritize. We can consider it a list of characteristics to work on while you’re traveling, meeting all sorts of weird people and having misadventures…"
http://blogs.bootsnall.com/mbsloney/?p=228
