boogieman
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that ping.
Here's the first 2 minutes, and they're just getting wound up. Grady is in the booth with Keith's stakehorse, Ken Taylor. Curse words were deleted and replaced with a parenthetical --> [cuss word].
GRADY MATHEWS: And we're here live. Accu-Stats Video Productions proudly presents championship 9-ball. In today's feature match, we have Gary Tallywhacker--I mean, Bushwhacker Nolan from parts abode versus Keith McCready.
With me in the booth here today is Jackie, who does not wish to reveal her true last name, Barry Shaw from New York City, and Ken Taylor, all the way here from Fresno. And Bushwhacker has won the lag.
Now, we might be surprised here this afternoon, fellows. We do have two of the playing-est mother-[cuss word] I've ever laid eyes on in my life.
And Bushwhacker has crushed 'em. He pocketed a ball on the break and has a nice shot on the lowest-numbered ball.
KEN TAYLOR: You know, Grady, if Keith misses one [cuss word] ball in this match, I guarantee you that I'm hanging his underwear out, and he's going to be in them in the snow because what he's pulled here this week, there ain't a [cuss word ] in the world would fade the [cuss word] that I've faded here.
GRADY MATHEWS: Well, you know, Keith's backers usually take an extended leave of absence.
KEN TAYLOR: Well, I guarantee you that I've leaved my absence because this guy has put me in just dead-[cuss word] a coma. I mean, I have to watch my clothes. I have to watch my watch. I have to hide the [cuss word] money, and I have to sleep with one eye open. I mean, this guy is a--look, if he scratches, I'm going to--well, okay. Here we go.
GRADY MATHEWS: Well, let's watch him. Let's see if the patented faggot-y looking little sachet strut comes into play. You know how Keith will walk around that table.
KEN TAYLOR: Did you see that shot, Grady? That looked like a 3-year-old girl picking her nose. I can't believe it. This guy--you know, he couldn't get a hard-on if he had to.
GRADY MATHEWS: Well, you know, that does bring up another interesting subject.
And this is only the beginning. Grady was in rare form. Billy Incardona steps in the booth for a spell too.
Oh my word! @azhousepro is there any way possible you would sell this on DVD? This has to be one of the funniest things I've ever heard. Grady was sharp as a tack and had a way with words. I'd love to watch this match, two great players too. Keith was always so fun to watch, and googling some on bushwacker I bet the match alone would be great, but the combo! Hot diggity dog!
@garczar yeah yeah, this post is old but oh man it's a good read.
