How much do you hate losing?

R

recoveryjones

AzB Silver Member
Silver Member
I've heard it said "That if you don't mind losing, you're a loser!"

Personally I think that ,that statement(although it has it's merits) is a little extreme,however, there was a time that I REALLY hated losing.I guess it started with family card games when my Dad (who didn't like to lose) took much joy from trouncing(and ribbing LOL) us when he was victorious.

There was a time in my younger years when I hated losing and got quite angry when I lost.Age has mellowed me, however,and losses are much easier to handle.I now look for the posistives in my loses and use them to try and build my game.

When I lose to a higher ranked player it's a little more tolerable especialy when I play well.When a lose to a lower ranked player, make 95% of the balls and hang the garbage, that can still hurt.

Anyways, how much do you(or did you) hate losing?
How did you overcome it and learn to enjoy the game more?
What positives do you take from a loss?
Are you a sore loser?
How much losing did you experience, before you started winning the majority of your matches?

Twice a week I play in the strongest tournament with the best competition locally.There are Pro pluses, pros ,A+'s and A's (like me) and lower ranked players.With this kind of competiton, loses are part of reality.

Here's some postives I take from playing(losing and winning) the best local competition.

1. Experience/Acclimitization.
The better the players, you play the better your own game will become.
Playing against good players puts pressure on your stroke and you have to perform.The more you are in that pressure, the less that pressure becomes as you get acclimitized.

2.Education:
I've learned lots of stuff from some of my losses to the best local players.
New shots,new safties, new attitude.

3. Correction:
I can correct my mistakes in practice and make sure that they have a much less chance of re-occuring in future matches.

4. Reflection:
I can take confidence from the good things I've done well and bulid on that to become a stronger player.I can learn from my wins and my loses.

5. Fellowship:
I enjoy socializing with my friends at the pool tournaments.I've made lots of friends and I enjoy their company.

I think going in to a match with the knowledge that you are going to win (in regards to experience,education,correction, reflection and fellowship) no matter what, makes the game much more enjoyable and losses are easier to take.This formula actually makes me win more matches than I ever have before.It seems the more I hated to lose , the more I lost because of the pressure and self condemnation that went with it.The more I think I'm going to win (even if I lose) has relaxed me more and as a result, I'm winning more.
RJ
 
losing

I hate losing so much... that when i lose to some one I feel i should have beat.

Or for money... I really feel like snapping my cue.. it sounds dumb and I dont do it. I shake his hand smile and say good game and pay up.

On my walk or drive home, i think about quiting the game, only for it to last 3-4 days and then practice, so i can smash my oppenent into the ground.

Mack...
just my 02.cents.
 
losing...man it sucks!

For me it all depends on how I played. If I played like Sh!t and lost, well, then, I am going to beat up on myslef a little bit and make a point to practice harder in the near future. I'll bang the steering wheel on the way home while I think about a mistake, yell at myself, because I know I could have payed better and didnt play to my own standard. I know I am not the only one here who does this.. ;)


Totally different story if I fell like I played well and lost. I naturally don't get down on myself, because I know that I performed well and someone else just happened to perform better than me during that set. Happened to me last night as a matter of fact. Hill-Hill against an APA Seven, balls didnt set up for me very good on the last rack, and I didnt have as good of an opprtunity to get out. I played several really nice difficult shots during the set, and was basically on fire until the last game when I found myself on the 8 and S.O.L after he played a good safety.

Playing well and losing is just part of the game, it happens to EVERYONE, and I think any matured player will agree that accepting defeat gracefully and learning from your mistakes will serve you well in the long run.
 
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Players.

KingCarom said:
For me it all depends on how I played. If I played like Sh!t and lost, well, then, I am going to beat up on myslef a little bit and make a point to practice harder in the near future. I'll bang the steering wheel on the way home while I think about a mistake, yell at myself, because I know I could have payed better and didnt play to my own standard. I know I am not the only one here who does this.. ;)


Totally different story if I fell like I played well and lost. I naturally don't get down on myself, because I know that I performed well and someone else just happened to perform better than me during that set. Happened to me last night as a matter of fact. Hill-Hill against an APA Seven, balls didnt set up for me very good on the last rack, and I didnt have as good of an opprtunity to get out. I played several really nice difficult shots during the set, and was basically on fire until the last game when I found myself on the 8 and S.O.L after he played a good safety.

Playing well and losing is just part of the game, it happens to EVERYONE, and I think any matured player will agree that accepting defeat gracefully and learning from your mistakes will serve you well in the long run.
Click to expand...

I tried to send you a PM. But it was not allowed.

How well do you know Atwell or Geiler. PM me if you can.

Mack
 
I used to go off when I lost. Not infront of anyone ,but in my own personal hell later. Then a friend/teacher changed my outlook on judging my play. It takes some work, but it's worth it. I started keeping track of a few things while in tourny's, or gambling, like:

> runout percentage, or BPI in 14.1
> why my runs stopped...most important!
> how did I feel that day mentally/physically...
> things like that, but rarely who I played, it really did'nt make a difference to me....

So, after a few months, I had a good set of notes together. We sat down and we mapped out:
> where my weakness' are.....then a plan to fix them.
> why I was getting beat when gambling....I put too much pressure on my game when setting up a match, and I had to play perfect or close to it to win. basically thinking I should play at 100% speed every session....not so.

By having a set of notes, or roadmap, or a plan, I could sit down and plug in the variables and, almost determine before playing, how I was going to do in that particular session or situation. Each time I played I had a stronger set of notes, and more confidence for the next time, instead of just wandering in and finding a game without a plan. Also, while making a game I could determine how much pressure I needed to apply (weight, $ amount) to ge the result I wanted comfortably. Like Grady sais, nothing sux more than being in the middle of a game you made, and cannot win.

Maybe my rantings will give you some ideas of your own, but to beat yourself up after a loss, and not have any idea why is NO fun. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT like to lose. Now I just know why I lost afterwards...Good luck,

Gerry
 
I must not hate it to much cause I certainly do it enough. I'm sure that I win many more than I lose. However, when I say I win more than I lose that isn't exactly accurate. I win more than I lose in tournaments. But when I just go to play, I walk into the place, look around and find the best player there and walk over and say. "Are you ready"? Of course they are happy to oblige. I consider these my 'playing lessons'. One of these guys even tells me every now and then about when he was younger he use to go play someone he knew he could beat and then take his won money to play the tough guy. He says that is what I should do before challenging him. When he said that to me an honest answer that I really wasn't aware of until I said it came right out. "It's not really much fun beating someone you know you can beat".

Read that again. "It's not really much fun beating someone you know you can beat". Is that the stupidest thing you've ever heard or what? On top of that, when put in this position and it isn't in a tournament, I usually lay down and don't play my best. My teacher keeps telling me, 'when your in this position you need to crush them!'

Is it to far fetched to consider it a win if when playing the tough guys I play as long as I have and I haven't lost my allotted money?

What a head game! Will I ever get that killer instinct? I'm beginning to doubt it. I guess I'll just stick to the "I just play to have fun" excuse.
 
I never, ever mind losing. I can qualify that a hundred ways to Sunday, but here are the basics.

I play well under pressure. I've done that for a long time - got me through high school and competitive amateur golf. I want to win every time I step onto the course. I still carry that with me, and I think anyone who's ever been any level of good at anything has that same drive, at least when they're "on."

That being said, I don't "hate" losing if two conditions are met:
a) I gave it my all.
b) I learned something.

I may have a bad day putting, but so long as I don't mail it in on the last four holes and I play every shot as well as I can that day, condition 1 is met.

The second condition is easily met if I pay attention. I may learn something from an opponent, I may learn something about how I handle a certain situation. I may learn something about how a shot plays under certain conditions, etc.

"hate" is a strong word. I dislike losing, but I don't dwell on it and it really bounces off of me pretty easily. A few times in the past, I've looked at the winner and realized I learned so much more than them that I wouldn't trade places with them... because I'll probably beat them the next 10 times out.
 
iacas said:
I never, ever mind losing. I can qualify that a hundred ways to Sunday, but here are the basics.

I play well under pressure. I've done that for a long time - got me through high school and competitive amateur golf. I want to win every time I step onto the course. I still carry that with me, and I think anyone who's ever been any level of good at anything has that same drive, at least when they're "on."

That being said, I don't "hate" losing if two conditions are met:
a) I gave it my all.
b) I learned something.

I may have a bad day putting, but so long as I don't mail it in on the last four holes and I play every shot as well as I can that day, condition 1 is met.

The second condition is easily met if I pay attention. I may learn something from an opponent, I may learn something about how I handle a certain situation. I may learn something about how a shot plays under certain conditions, etc.

"hate" is a strong word. I dislike losing, but I don't dwell on it and it really bounces off of me pretty easily. A few times in the past, I've looked at the winner and realized I learned so much more than them that I wouldn't trade places with them... because I'll probably beat them the next 10 times out.
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Good post.

The way you look at the situation is exactly the attitude I'm trying to implement into my game.It's a new attiude and relapse does occur, especially when I say "merry Christmas" and completley hand a match to someone who does absolutley nothing except pick up the garbage. Change can be tough, but I'm working on it.

RJ

ps. I like your website, nice concept.
 
I don't mind losing if in my mind I lost to a better player. I love playing better players because I think it elevates my game to a higher level. If I lose to someone I think I should have beaten then I am very hard on myself. I always try to get to know the better player in hopes of gaining some insight about the game. I also try to help the lower player if they are interested in my vision of the game. If they ask I help, I don't force my views of the game on them.
 
Fatty Once Said..........

After the movie came out and Fatty went on tour - he used to say - "I've made more money losing than most pool players have made winning".
I think that was true.

I know that I have made quite a few good scores by losing to the right people at the right time, with the right players watching.
Many, many times - the best thing you can do is lose.
As far as losing (on the square) - I have found that even that can be used for future matches and leverage.
Sooooooo - It's Not Weather You Win Or Lose - It's Who Ends Up With The Ca$h!

TY & GL, OHB
 
OHB said it good ...

Losing can sometimes be beneficial in the long run.
I have been known to drop a first set as a bait because
then they think they know they can beat you, and they
stay on the line a lot longer before admitting to themselves
that they can't which means more money for you.

But, in general, I hate to lose at sports, cards, or not to
be the best in business, but I have an excuse, I was real
little growing up so I had to use my brain better than others
did ... lol Plus my big brother was real good at everything
growing up.
 
iacas said:
I never, ever mind losing. I can qualify that a hundred ways to Sunday, but here are the basics.

I play well under pressure. I've done that for a long time - got me through high school and competitive amateur golf. I want to win every time I step onto the course. I still carry that with me, and I think anyone who's ever been any level of good at anything has that same drive, at least when they're "on."

That being said, I don't "hate" losing if two conditions are met:
a) I gave it my all.
b) I learned something.

I may have a bad day putting, but so long as I don't mail it in on the last four holes and I play every shot as well as I can that day, condition 1 is met.

The second condition is easily met if I pay attention. I may learn something from an opponent, I may learn something about how I handle a certain situation. I may learn something about how a shot plays under certain conditions, etc.

"hate" is a strong word. I dislike losing, but I don't dwell on it and it really bounces off of me pretty easily. A few times in the past, I've looked at the winner and realized I learned so much more than them that I wouldn't trade places with them... because I'll probably beat them the next 10 times out.
Click to expand...
Great post, iacas! Like RJ I'm trying to develop that same attitude and it's starting to click. I realize that so long as I play competitively I will lose, and the more constructively I deal with my losses, the greater my improvement.

I also remember reading the article on Manalo in BD, saying his father would purposely set him up as a child against people he couldn't beat. But that was meant to develop a sturdier competitor.

The only thing that's really unacceptable for me, although I'm not immune to it, is "losing for fear of losing." Everything else I try to face corageously rather than with my fragile little ego...

BTW, that attitude also works against getting yourself worked up because of mistakes made during a match, and in dealing with failure more generally.
 
I hate losing this much:

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Competing, Losing, Learning, Growing...

"I don't mind losing more than I don't mind winning." This used to be my attitude early in my development. It probably is the same for all of us early in our pool playing. However as your game developes and your expectations reach higher levels, you gain more confidence in yourself and your game. The DESIRE TO WIN begins to be stronger as you move along and up the ladder. I know that we are all not exactly the same and blessed are those who NEED TO WIN the earliest in their playing. These players have the greatest chance to reach the Champion levels fastest. However they must channel this powerful desire properly and with guidance from the right teacher.

Dan Louie has stated to me many times how he "HAD TO WIN" very early in his playing. He worked like crazy on his game and it's no wonder how and why he won the World Championships in his twenties...

Thanks again,

Jeff
 
It stings like a bi#ch when I lose, and I love it when I win....but only for about 1 or 2 minutes. After that, I realize that I tried my best, and the match is over. If it's my first loss (or win) in a tournament, I then try to focus on tasks at hand.

Mike
 
Everybody hates to lose. I'm older and just like the first poster, I've mellowed in my old age, but I WON"T GIVE UP till the last ball drops. Having been away from pool for a long time I don't have delusions about beating somebody who's played regularly,I just want to be able to give them all the game I can.:(

From what I've read, Efren won't talk to you for 3 days after a loss!:D :cool:

Terry
 
Losing sucks, no doubt, but if you walk away with your head held high, shake your opponents hand like a gentleman, then the respect you'll receive is the reward that comes with it. Whether you win or lose, be a gracious opponent. Win 9-0, or lose 0-9, respect your opponent all the same. Peace, John.
 
I HATE losing...Especially when I know I blew it. If the other person just runs out or whatever then I don't get as frustrated. But, my head about explodes when I lose games I "should" have won. But, I don't take this as a negative thing. After I get over the fact that I suck;) I just imprint that feeling in my mind and next time I feel stale in practice I just remember back to that. Great motivation. Also, ur losses do tend to tell u where ur weaknesses are. If you are willing to listen to them.
 
I'm not especially fond of loosing but like anything else, get over it and move on.

Rod
 
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