Jimbo's life before AZ

daytonajoe

Deceased
DISILLUSIONED with life, Jimbo decided to enter a monastery.

On his first day, the Abbot greeted him.
"Welcome, Brother Jimbo, " he said. "As you know, we are a silent order. Your days here will be spend in contemplation and prayer, and you may not speak until I direct you to do so."

Brother Jimbo lived in the monastery for a full year before the Abbot next spoke to him. "Brother Jimbo, you have been here a year now, now you may speak two words."

Brother Jimbo said "Hard bed." "I`m sorry to hear that," the Abbot said. "We will get you a better bed."

Next year, Brother Jimbo was called by the Abbot. "You may say another two words, Brother Jimbo." "Cold food," said Brother Jimbo. The Abbot tutted, and assured him that the food would be better in the future.

On his third anniversary, the Abbot called for Brother Jimbo. "Two words you may say today," he said.
"I quit," said Brother Jimbo. "Well, it`s probably for the best," said the Abbot. "All you`ve done since you got here is complain."

Ya know we still luv ya !!!!
 
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A Teacher gave her 5th graders

A teacher gave her 5th graders an assignment: Get their parents to tell
them a story with a moral at the end. The next day, the kids came back,
and one by one began to tell their stories.

"Johnny, do you have a story to share?" Yes ma'am, my dad told a story
about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a pilot in Desert Storm and her
plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had
was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank
the whiskey on the way down so it would not break and then her parachute
landed right in the middle of 20 enemy troops. She shot 15 of them with
the gun until she ran out of bullets; she killed four more with the
knife 'til the blade broke; and then she killed the last Iraqi with her
bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"

"Stay the **** away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking."
 
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