Learning from negative very critical type person?

[breakup]

I have always had good experiences in leagues. But I am very choosy what team I will play on.

I will only play with people that have the same basic outlook I do. That at the end of the day is it is all recreation.

I try to win as hard as anyone, but I don’t punish those around me when I or they fail to do so.

The teams I have been on are almost always competitive (have played almost every year for about 20 years) usually in the hunt at the end of the year, if not winning outright. (never played well enough to be on any of the “Dream Teams” that sometimes were stacked for the Vegas tourney however). When you get on teams that the overriding criteria is how good someone plays there usually is a price to pay.

-Never have I been on a team that scheduled a practice (just a fact good or bad)

-Never have I been on a team that anyone would offer any unwanted criticism what so ever. Any advice from anyone on the team always has been constructive in nature and very little if any of it at that.

-Never have I had a team mate that would punish others with his/her attitude for anything that had to do with league play.

Always I have been on teams that just enjoyed the competitive atmosphere but kept it in perspective.

I have played with lots of different folks over the years and the reason most of the teams broke up was because of people moving. In fact the most recent first place team I was on the rest of the team moved to Vegas to work at the BCA Leagues office. If that’s not taking one for the team (League) I don’t know what is.

 

[JimBo]

I agree with your points, and your antidote of "Great drinkers who are home for the playoffs."

But I feel that this is not the essence of why this thread was created. I PMed the author of this thread, because I am in the same predicament, but often have other league members of mine who also post here...

You and only you can decide what you want out of pool, to me being here shows more then just a "I want to have fun" type of attitude. I can't fault anyone for why they are playing the game or what they want to gain from it.

The point is that this shooter is killing his confidence and game, and makes him feel bad. It's almost like you are being bullied on the school playground. I went 10 and 2 one session and still felt like it wasn't enough. I was not having fun, and may game suffered.

If the you are an adult you can handle things as an adult, if someone in pool league makes you lose confidence I think there might be a bigger issue, the only thing that can personally make me lose confidence would be my own performance all the rest of the stuff mentioned just drives me to perform better.

Like you said, I also now have five trophies over the past three years, and were in the finals to go to Las Vegas, and semi finals for New Orleans (this years TAP), BUT WINNING AT ANY COST is not prime factor for me, personally. Sure winning is fun, but not when you sell out.

I don't know what sell out means, is wanting to improve and wanting the rest of the team to care as much as you do selling out?

My glory days are over. I have done quite a few thing in the past through HS and college athletics, and work related goals. Bar league pool does not have the kind of prestige that some may covet. For example, would you really care if our bar league DART team wins the whole shebang? Most people I speak with could care frigging' less about pool as well, and may even laugh that I would take such a thing seriously.

If darts were my thing I think I would care, whatever I do is what matters to me at the time, anything worth doing should be worth doing right. I feel worse for a guy who walks in the bar and talks about his High School glory days then a guy who talks about winning a pool event last week or last year. Sure most people I talk to don't give a crap about pool, but we are on a pool forum and we are talking to other pool fans, so I think winning an APA event means much more then what you did back in little league baseball or college football, again I guess it all depends on how much in the past you want to live your life.

My game, and my happiness went up weeks after I stopped shooting, and my SL even went up by one! I have a full family, full time job, and play as often as I can, but I want to have fun when I do it.

Again I'd say you let pool have to much impact on your personal life if it effects you so much. My happiness went up with each step I won in league play or with each improvement I made in my game.

To be honest, I felt so much pressure during all of the money tournaments and playoffs that I rather not have been there at all to begin with. Sounds like a loser attitude, but I can't change how I feel, and don't want to try. Who wants to spend all weekend shooting pool and being miserable? I have better things to do with my limited time.

But that's all just me, and how I feel, personally.

I've already said it, it's different for each individual, I personally love the pressure and when I do bad in pressure spots I use it to drive me to improve, when I perform well in those spots my confidence grows, but that's just me.

Jim

 

[Gregg]

I've already said it, it's different for each individual, I personally love the pressure and when I do bad in pressure spots I use it to drive me to improve, when I perform well in those spots my confidence grows, but that's just me.

Jim

Cool, I respect your response. I stay far from my glory days as possible. Nobody would care or listen if I tried to relive them, especially around these parts!

Just keep in mind that there are different degrees of getting roasted, and, as you can see, I am not the only one with this issue. It was enough for me to say "enough" and leave a very competitive team.

Speaking of pressure, nobody can put more pressure than I can put on myself. I have tend to have very high expectations of myself, even when I don't even have a reason to. I have a hard time when I feel like I am not playing as well as I can. Combine that with a pressure team, and well, you can imagine the kind results you'll get.