Who is that guy you just beat for $500?
That's my ATM with legs.
Are you ever going to make a ball? Even the pockets are laughing at you.
A guy goes into the doctor's office. "Doc, I think I'm constipated, I aint sh*t in a week." The doctor prescribes a strong laxative. Guy returns the next day. "Doc, I still aint sh*t." Doctor prescribes a super stong laxative guaranteed to work. Next day the guy is back again. "Still nothing, Doc." The doctor is perplexed and digs into the man's routine. "By the way, sir, what do you do for a living?" "I'm a pool hustler, doc." the man replies. The doctor lights up in realization. "Why didn’t you say so in the first place? Here's a couple of dollars, go get yourself something to eat."
At the King of the Hill IPT shootout, Mike Sigel offers to play an exhibition game with a media celebrity.
Mike tells the celebrity: "I hope you realize that even if you win and go back home and tell everybody that you beat Mike Sigel, nobody will believe you!"
What does a pool player and sperm have in common......Only one in a million work
What do you call a 100 pool players in the basement? A WHINE cellar.
As the blushing bride reached the altar, she noticed her fiancee's cue case leaning against the wall behind him. The Minister began the ceremony, but she interrupted him and pointed to the cue case, saying "What's that all about?"
The groom meekly responded, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
Willie Mosconi, Johnny Archer and Earl Strickland are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you believe.
God looks at Willie and asks: "what do you believe?"
Willie thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.
God can't help but see the essential goodness of Mosconi, and offers him a seat on his left.
Then God turns to Archer and says, "What do you believe?"
Johnny says, "Win or lose, I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Willie, I believe in hard work. I've been lucky too, but I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the table."
God is greatly moved by Johnny's modest southern eloquence and offers him a seat at his right and a piece of pie.
Finally, God turns to Strickland : "And you, Earl, what do you believe?"
Earl replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
"That wasn't luck; it was skill you don't have yet."
Two guys are playing pool, when they notice a funeral procession passing by on the street in front of the pool hall. One of the players stops shooting, goes to the front window, takes off his hat, and stands respectfully silent until the procession is finished passing.
The other player says, "Well, that was awful nice of you to show your respect." His friend responds, "it was the least I could do, we were married for 30 years."
Pool gambler/loser before a big game: "God I hope I break even tonight, I could sure use the money."
Ethical dilemma:
A pool player beats a young boy out of $20 during a game.
The boy walks away, crying and shaken.
The pool player looks down and sees the kid's 20 dollar bill is stuck to ANOTHER $20.
Hence the dilemma...As the kid is walking to the door..the pool player, thinks carefully and asks himself..." Do I tell my backer?"
That's my ATM with legs.
Are you ever going to make a ball? Even the pockets are laughing at you.
A guy goes into the doctor's office. "Doc, I think I'm constipated, I aint sh*t in a week." The doctor prescribes a strong laxative. Guy returns the next day. "Doc, I still aint sh*t." Doctor prescribes a super stong laxative guaranteed to work. Next day the guy is back again. "Still nothing, Doc." The doctor is perplexed and digs into the man's routine. "By the way, sir, what do you do for a living?" "I'm a pool hustler, doc." the man replies. The doctor lights up in realization. "Why didn’t you say so in the first place? Here's a couple of dollars, go get yourself something to eat."
At the King of the Hill IPT shootout, Mike Sigel offers to play an exhibition game with a media celebrity.
Mike tells the celebrity: "I hope you realize that even if you win and go back home and tell everybody that you beat Mike Sigel, nobody will believe you!"
What does a pool player and sperm have in common......Only one in a million work
What do you call a 100 pool players in the basement? A WHINE cellar.
As the blushing bride reached the altar, she noticed her fiancee's cue case leaning against the wall behind him. The Minister began the ceremony, but she interrupted him and pointed to the cue case, saying "What's that all about?"
The groom meekly responded, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"
Willie Mosconi, Johnny Archer and Earl Strickland are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, "Before granting you a place at my side, I must ask you what you believe.
God looks at Willie and asks: "what do you believe?"
Willie thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, "I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.
God can't help but see the essential goodness of Mosconi, and offers him a seat on his left.
Then God turns to Archer and says, "What do you believe?"
Johnny says, "Win or lose, I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Willie, I believe in hard work. I've been lucky too, but I've always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the table."
God is greatly moved by Johnny's modest southern eloquence and offers him a seat at his right and a piece of pie.
Finally, God turns to Strickland : "And you, Earl, what do you believe?"
Earl replies, "I believe you're in my seat."
"That wasn't luck; it was skill you don't have yet."
Two guys are playing pool, when they notice a funeral procession passing by on the street in front of the pool hall. One of the players stops shooting, goes to the front window, takes off his hat, and stands respectfully silent until the procession is finished passing.
The other player says, "Well, that was awful nice of you to show your respect." His friend responds, "it was the least I could do, we were married for 30 years."
Pool gambler/loser before a big game: "God I hope I break even tonight, I could sure use the money."
Ethical dilemma:
A pool player beats a young boy out of $20 during a game.
The boy walks away, crying and shaken.
The pool player looks down and sees the kid's 20 dollar bill is stuck to ANOTHER $20.
Hence the dilemma...As the kid is walking to the door..the pool player, thinks carefully and asks himself..." Do I tell my backer?"