Pool Players Excuse Book

I once had a guy using a predator sneaky pete telling me that his cue can't be used to make stop shots.

He also told me that my game will INCREASE BY 50% ( YEAH U HEARD IT RIGHT 50 % !?? ) if i switched to a low-deflectiom technology shaft after i beat his ass with a hse cue.

Another guy told me he was'nt paying attention .
 
My usual excuse is that I SUCK!!! most of my opponents buy it.
Someone mention cloth earlier, I play a few racks on a table just killing time at a bar, it had..................ready???...............Pink and Black Zebra striped cloth, talk about a table tough to aim on!!!!!!:confused:
 
One of the things that I really love is when someone misses a shot and the first thing they do is flip their cue over and look at the tip with kind of an angry look. Then they'll make it a point to stand at the table and chalk their cue or I should say "over chalk" their cue, then angrily slam the chalk on the rail. That always cracks me up. When the ritual starts I'll sit and wait.
So what I started to do is if I miss a shot I'll turn quickly to one of the rail birds or someone on my team and I'll say "did you hear that? What was that?" then I'll look toward the door or at the bar or anywhere else but at our table
 
One guy, I'd played him several times, kept saying "I'm better than this" ...talking about himself after I beat him for a solid hour and a half. I said no, you're not. Some nights you're better than this.....
To be fair, I also said some nights I'm worse....that's why we make excuses, sometimes we think we're as good as our best nites.....
 
I farted mid-stroke, threw me off my line. :thumbup: true story.....

sadly, ive used most excuses and rituals mentioned at one point or another. im getting better though with my complaints. Ive been practicing with a pro level player, he misses and his expression doesn't change, walks away like he made the shot. makes me want to mature a bit.
 
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I was so constipated I choked. Messed with my concentration.

I was paying too much attention to The Hustlers on the big screen. Emily and Jennifer. Hot and hotter. Messed with my concentration.

The juke box played Free Bird and Sweet Home Alabama, all night long. Messed with my concentration.

The juke box didn't play Free Bird and Sweet Home Alabama, all night long. Messed with my concentration.

They charged me for water. All night long. Messed with my concentration.

The waitress had a tip jar. After what they charged me for water? No frickin' way. Messed with my concentration.
 
I played a guy who had a beautiful case with three different expensive cues and after I beat him, he said, "I play a lot better with my really nice cues. These are just my practice cues."
 
- The sunlight from that window was in my eyes

- That ball would have gone at [other pool hall with different pockets]
 
Earl has had some good excuses over the years. Can anyone remember some? A few:

"I do not believe that guy did that. In the middle of my shot he hit me with a flash."
(30 seconds before running out to win the 1991 world 9-Ball title vs Varner)

"But these people are calling me names and stuff."
(Earl speaking to Michaela Tabb when she asked him to be quiet while Steve Davis was at the table during the 2003 world 9-ball championships. Earl was battling with the rowdy Cardiff crowd the entire match. He went on to win 11-9.)

"Hey, do I come to your place of work and loudly eat potato chips?"
(I'm pretty sure he said this beauty once to someone in the crowd but I don't remember when).
 
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