Share Your Favorite Pool Hall Quips!

Some guys from up north brought Ronnie Alcano to Athens when he first came over here and nobody knew who he was. It was after a tournament at the Brass Rail and a lot of players were still there. Instead of playing some lower teir players like Jim Jennings or Matt Bulfin, they put him on Mike Gulyassy in a set for $500. We had already called Bruce who was at another tourney and Tony Watson. After beating Mike in a 7 ahead set in about 45 minutes, the guys wanted to know if Bruce or Tony wanted to play some. We laughed at them and one of our friends said, "Damn, you guys could have made $10,000 in here tonight and you made $500." Another one says, "yeah, you clowns move like glaciers".
 
You and your buudy are on the road. You are playing a fish and your budding is talking crap to you. You tell'm: Look, I am the one f***ing this cat, shut up and hold its head.

What you can say to the NITS whoofing at you for the nuts:

  1. You need how much, Man you really do suck!
  2. Get your nuts out of the sand and play me some even!
  3. Why don't you go sit back done and finish that sweater your nitting!
  4. No, I am not going to give you the wild 7 and 8 and the last 3, Everybody might find out how bad I play!
  5. You want what? Hmmm! You shure thats enough?
 
favorite pool hall quips

Ronnie Allen once told a guy, " Man, you couldn't get arrested for impersonating a pool player."



Fish; " Got change for a hundred?"

Player: " A hundred is change."
 
Keith McCready at the Chico Club talking on his cell phone about 3 local short stops, "I've almost got the fish in the boat" :eek: :p :D .
 
A few days ago I watching an old US Open match between Buddy and Kim. Grady says during the commentary after he correctly calls a difficult safety shot:

That will be in my forthcoming book "How to get by without ever pocketing a ball".
 
"The only thing you could break is wind."

"GREAT SHOT --- if the pocket was here..." *point to the spot where the ball hit the rail*
 
Mine

Do you shoot with your eyes open or, are you trying to use the force?

to a male opponent

Nice break, does your husband play?

Erman Bullard

to a young short stop

"You need to quit, if I keep beating on you like this I'm gonna get arrested for child abuse!"

to a player/book writer who has started talking to Erman while he is shooting, trying to shark him

"Hey man, I haven't read any of your books, what chapter covers sharking?"
 
An older gentleman I used to play would say the following after making a lucky shot:

"It was all I had!"

His delivery was really the key in making this funny. You had to be there.
 
I was playing a friend of mine once and was in a $hit talking mood. I left him a pretty easy run of maybe 4 balls and said "hell, you can't even run across the street, never mind run the rest of this rack". That got a good chuckle (even out of my friend).
 
Favorite Quips

After the opponent puzzles over my pushout:
"give it back and I'll show you how to shoot it; or try it yourself and you'll never know"

After my opponent gets a bad leave:
"yea, if I could shoot as good as you, I wouldn't play shape either"


After McCready's opponent complained that he had a bad case of the rolls: "well when you die you can come back as a cue ball and give us all a bad roll"

When Keith gets to the 7 ball: "somebody call the sheriff, this man's been robbed"
 
Drawman623 said:
After my opponent gets a bad leave:
"yea, if I could shoot as good as you, I wouldn't play shape either"
"
Click to expand...

This reminded me of one of my smarta$$ remarks after my opponent gets out of line - "I guess a man of your caliber doesn't need shape".
 
A young road player was matched up with one of our locals and the road player had been selling out every time he missed and his safety play was not working out for him. He tried a jump shot, whitey went off the table and rolled right to where his backer was sitting. The backer looked down at the cue ball, and said "Well, kid, if you can talk him into shooting from there, you might have finally played a safe".
 
where can a guy find a lil mercy around here? "in the dictionary"

when your opponent gets into a tight spot and isn't sure if there's enough room to hit the object ball and is eyeing it, get down an look at it an say "hell, you could fit a truck through there!"
________
 
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For all you 14.1 fans, this one is courtesy of one of the top straight pool players in NYC (initials are DB):

What's worse than watching people play 9-ball? Watching people play 9-ball for no money."
 
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