This is a bit of a tough question to answer, but I too like a softer hitting cue and here are a few things that I think greatly contribute the the "softer" feel. Go with a softer ferrule and tip, I like juma ferrules and whatever the stuff Jacoby uses on the their hybrid shaft. I like ultraskin pro and pure-x soft tips. These tips are pretty consistent, but with any soft tip, they will require a little more burnishing and trimming over time to stop mushrooming. I think a longer shaft taper provides a softer hit. As far as the joint material, I'm not sure how much it really matters, but I prefer ivory or Juma and sometimes phenolic. Generally speaking, I think steel joints are little too hard for my taste, but with the rights shaft setup, you can attain a softer hit with a steel joint. I've owned several Southwest cues, and have never had one I would consider a softer hit, most of mine were very stiff and quite hard. Hit is very subjective and unfortunately a lot of trial and error is the only way to really find what you are looking for. A good custom builder will usually be able to help you figure out what you are looking for.