I always say I knew when my life was a success when I didn't have to exaggerate the stories I told. Well, here's another slice out of the life of a pool player that just doesn't get any better. And it's true to the letter, easily verifiable as you all know and love one of the main characters.
Sunday I went to the local pool hall to play their weekly 9 ball tournament. Bar table 9 ball, race to 7 on the winner's side. I was playing very poorly. I struggled through my first match, then I played Gene Albrecht in round two. I couldn't even put up much of a fight and he didn't give me many opportunities anyway. I found myself in the losers bracket.
I waited for my next match to be called. And waited. And waited. Finally I went to check out the charts, only to see that the B side hadn't moved. I was waiting on the winner of the loser of a match that had been going on for- over two hours???
OK, so this match in question was between two slower players. One is slow, but not two slow. Deliberate, yes. Slow paced, yes. But excessively slow, to the point of making me want to stab myself in the leg? No, nothing like that. I've played him before, and his pace never bothered me. I will refer to him as the Deliberate Player.
His opponent though was more than slow. As of the writing of this post I've been playing pool for 25 years and will tell you that not only is he the slowest player I've ever played, he is miles beyond number two. The only time I've ever lost my temper about someone's pace was playing him a match years ago, and time hasn't improved his tempo. I will refer to him as the Glacial Player.
Let the record show that I truly like both of these players, and they do play well. But when you work the next morning and realize that a tournament that could've been done at 9PM is going to run until 1AM because they want to take breaks and draw imaginary lines on a bar table? That's enough to test anyone's enthusiasm for watching the game.
Geno was thinking the same thing. We were siting next to each other and talking about how bloody long this match had gone on. At this point is was 6-5, and of course the person that won that rack just knotted it up at hill-hill. One of the playesr was starting to rack the balls for the case game.
At this moment I looked at Gene and said "Hey Gene, the clock just turned to 7:36. What's the over/under on the time needed for the last rack?" Gene didn't answer, so I said "OK, I'll draw the line- 12 minutes. Do you want to bet that his rack is over by 7:48 or that it's still going when the clock hits 7:39?" Geno, still laughing about how slow these guys were playing, said he'd take the over. We had a bet!
The deliberate player broke the balls and we were off to a great start; he made THREE BALLS ON THE BREAK AND HE IS STRAIGHT ON THE ONE! I jumped out of my chair and started celebrating! Ha! 6 balls on a bar table! There is no way this game won't be over in just seconds. Hahahahahaha I am stealing! Sure, the two ball doesn't have a clean pocket, but c'mon, they'll figure it out, right?
I was still feeling pretty chipper so I turned to Gene and joked "If they had come up dry on the break I was going to offer you a settlement!" Gene laughed but told me not to count my money yet.
The deliberate player shot a force follow on the one to try to spin the cueball up for the two, but he hit it two straight and it looked like he was going to follow it in and scratch. YES! That would mean 5 balls with ball in hand! But wait- wait- OH NO! The cueball hung in the jaws. Now the deliberate player had some thinking to do. C'mon! Just fram the balls or something! But no, this is hill-hill, he's going to make a WELL THOUGHT OUT DECISION.
The clock has ticked to 7:38. Plenty of time. Finally he decides to shoot a long 2-6 combination. Great! He shoots, he misses, the Glacial Player looks like they will be straight on the 2 with an easy 5 ball run for the win. Oh no, the six bounced around and hooked Glacial Player! He now has no shot, and has to go into a DEEP THINK. Why 6 ball, WHY???!!!???
Glacial player has assembled his jump cue and the clock has now ticked to 7:41. He aims once, twice, pulls the trigger, and jumps in the 2 ball! Great job Glacier! Now there are just FOUR BALLS on the table. But man oh man, he doesn't have a shot at he 5 ball. He can hit it, but there's no easy safety. Not many balls left to hide behind. C'mon glac', you can do it! Now he's mapping out the options, walking around to look at the shot from every angle. The clock ticks to 7:42, then 7:43. C'mon, let's go!
OK, he's down shooting, he pulls the trigger, and he hits a nice shot, putting the 5 on one end rail and the cueball up table half hooked by the 8. Good shot! But now it's 7:44, and deliberate player has to look at kick options. R U Serious? Fram the balls already! But Deliberate takes his time, and he finds a good option, a half masse to get to the end rail behind the 5 and kick and stick, leaving the cueball near the rail and sending the 5 up table. Well struck! (The clock has ticked to 7:45)
Geno is laughing at me now, telling me that I'm drawing dead, that they'll never finish by 7:48. But I've still got four full minutes. I still believe!
Unfortunately for deliberate the 5 landed near the corner pocket, and even from off the rail that should be game. It is a bar table and Glacial is a pretty good shot. But it's not easy. And what does Glacial do when he has a testy shot for the match? That's right. He goes into the tank, deep on a inner spirit quest to find inspiration. One lap around the table. Then another. Chalking his tip. Then more chalk. 7:46. Finally he pulls the trigger, and he MISSES! The 5 bounces out to the middle of the table, and Deliberate now has a 4 ball run for the win. The clock has just ticked to 7:47!
Deliberate gets down to shoot. Then he gets up and Gene starts needling me mercilessly as Deliberate walks to his case and pulls out a bottle of powder. What? Now you need to powder your cue? C'mon! Hurry! He comes back, gets down again, and out of nowhere a waitress comes by and starts taking drink orders. Damn it! I have 90 seconds left and I've got to fade the wait staff? OK, they're gone. Back to the shot. Deliberate steps down, and hits a nice smooth draw shot to pocket the 5. FINALLY!
The clock has now ticked to 7:48. Moment of truth. Less than 60 seconds remaining. Me and Gene are both standing now, cheering for our side to win. Deliberate pockets the six and gets dead perfect on the 8, he can basically shoot and stop on both balls. The only question will be is he going to just tap-tap shoot them in, or is he going to go through the entire pre-shot routine. We're down to just seconds, I can feel it. It's so brutal, they have no clue we're betting on this!
Deliberate shoots the 8, and then surprises me by just pivoting his body without getting up, without chalking, or sighting the 9, and from the same stance as before just bunts the 9 ball in. I immediately look at the clock and it is still 7:48! I WIN!
I say to Gene, "Watch this!" and I started counting seconds out loud. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...and at seven the clock ticked over to 7:49. I won the bet by seven seconds!
What a nail biter. I can't believe that 6 balls on a bar table starting with a straight in one ball from two run out players almost went over 12 minutes. But I guess I drew a pretty good line.
Needless to say Geno beat me in the finals and took home the cash that evening. But it was still a fun night, and the highlight for me was that sweat bet. A hard fought 2 hour 45 minute victory and some good memories.
Sunday I went to the local pool hall to play their weekly 9 ball tournament. Bar table 9 ball, race to 7 on the winner's side. I was playing very poorly. I struggled through my first match, then I played Gene Albrecht in round two. I couldn't even put up much of a fight and he didn't give me many opportunities anyway. I found myself in the losers bracket.
I waited for my next match to be called. And waited. And waited. Finally I went to check out the charts, only to see that the B side hadn't moved. I was waiting on the winner of the loser of a match that had been going on for- over two hours???
OK, so this match in question was between two slower players. One is slow, but not two slow. Deliberate, yes. Slow paced, yes. But excessively slow, to the point of making me want to stab myself in the leg? No, nothing like that. I've played him before, and his pace never bothered me. I will refer to him as the Deliberate Player.
His opponent though was more than slow. As of the writing of this post I've been playing pool for 25 years and will tell you that not only is he the slowest player I've ever played, he is miles beyond number two. The only time I've ever lost my temper about someone's pace was playing him a match years ago, and time hasn't improved his tempo. I will refer to him as the Glacial Player.
Let the record show that I truly like both of these players, and they do play well. But when you work the next morning and realize that a tournament that could've been done at 9PM is going to run until 1AM because they want to take breaks and draw imaginary lines on a bar table? That's enough to test anyone's enthusiasm for watching the game.
Geno was thinking the same thing. We were siting next to each other and talking about how bloody long this match had gone on. At this point is was 6-5, and of course the person that won that rack just knotted it up at hill-hill. One of the playesr was starting to rack the balls for the case game.
At this moment I looked at Gene and said "Hey Gene, the clock just turned to 7:36. What's the over/under on the time needed for the last rack?" Gene didn't answer, so I said "OK, I'll draw the line- 12 minutes. Do you want to bet that his rack is over by 7:48 or that it's still going when the clock hits 7:39?" Geno, still laughing about how slow these guys were playing, said he'd take the over. We had a bet!
The deliberate player broke the balls and we were off to a great start; he made THREE BALLS ON THE BREAK AND HE IS STRAIGHT ON THE ONE! I jumped out of my chair and started celebrating! Ha! 6 balls on a bar table! There is no way this game won't be over in just seconds. Hahahahahaha I am stealing! Sure, the two ball doesn't have a clean pocket, but c'mon, they'll figure it out, right?
I was still feeling pretty chipper so I turned to Gene and joked "If they had come up dry on the break I was going to offer you a settlement!" Gene laughed but told me not to count my money yet.
The deliberate player shot a force follow on the one to try to spin the cueball up for the two, but he hit it two straight and it looked like he was going to follow it in and scratch. YES! That would mean 5 balls with ball in hand! But wait- wait- OH NO! The cueball hung in the jaws. Now the deliberate player had some thinking to do. C'mon! Just fram the balls or something! But no, this is hill-hill, he's going to make a WELL THOUGHT OUT DECISION.
The clock has ticked to 7:38. Plenty of time. Finally he decides to shoot a long 2-6 combination. Great! He shoots, he misses, the Glacial Player looks like they will be straight on the 2 with an easy 5 ball run for the win. Oh no, the six bounced around and hooked Glacial Player! He now has no shot, and has to go into a DEEP THINK. Why 6 ball, WHY???!!!???
Glacial player has assembled his jump cue and the clock has now ticked to 7:41. He aims once, twice, pulls the trigger, and jumps in the 2 ball! Great job Glacier! Now there are just FOUR BALLS on the table. But man oh man, he doesn't have a shot at he 5 ball. He can hit it, but there's no easy safety. Not many balls left to hide behind. C'mon glac', you can do it! Now he's mapping out the options, walking around to look at the shot from every angle. The clock ticks to 7:42, then 7:43. C'mon, let's go!
OK, he's down shooting, he pulls the trigger, and he hits a nice shot, putting the 5 on one end rail and the cueball up table half hooked by the 8. Good shot! But now it's 7:44, and deliberate player has to look at kick options. R U Serious? Fram the balls already! But Deliberate takes his time, and he finds a good option, a half masse to get to the end rail behind the 5 and kick and stick, leaving the cueball near the rail and sending the 5 up table. Well struck! (The clock has ticked to 7:45)
Geno is laughing at me now, telling me that I'm drawing dead, that they'll never finish by 7:48. But I've still got four full minutes. I still believe!
Unfortunately for deliberate the 5 landed near the corner pocket, and even from off the rail that should be game. It is a bar table and Glacial is a pretty good shot. But it's not easy. And what does Glacial do when he has a testy shot for the match? That's right. He goes into the tank, deep on a inner spirit quest to find inspiration. One lap around the table. Then another. Chalking his tip. Then more chalk. 7:46. Finally he pulls the trigger, and he MISSES! The 5 bounces out to the middle of the table, and Deliberate now has a 4 ball run for the win. The clock has just ticked to 7:47!
Deliberate gets down to shoot. Then he gets up and Gene starts needling me mercilessly as Deliberate walks to his case and pulls out a bottle of powder. What? Now you need to powder your cue? C'mon! Hurry! He comes back, gets down again, and out of nowhere a waitress comes by and starts taking drink orders. Damn it! I have 90 seconds left and I've got to fade the wait staff? OK, they're gone. Back to the shot. Deliberate steps down, and hits a nice smooth draw shot to pocket the 5. FINALLY!
The clock has now ticked to 7:48. Moment of truth. Less than 60 seconds remaining. Me and Gene are both standing now, cheering for our side to win. Deliberate pockets the six and gets dead perfect on the 8, he can basically shoot and stop on both balls. The only question will be is he going to just tap-tap shoot them in, or is he going to go through the entire pre-shot routine. We're down to just seconds, I can feel it. It's so brutal, they have no clue we're betting on this!
Deliberate shoots the 8, and then surprises me by just pivoting his body without getting up, without chalking, or sighting the 9, and from the same stance as before just bunts the 9 ball in. I immediately look at the clock and it is still 7:48! I WIN!
I say to Gene, "Watch this!" and I started counting seconds out loud. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7...and at seven the clock ticked over to 7:49. I won the bet by seven seconds!
What a nail biter. I can't believe that 6 balls on a bar table starting with a straight in one ball from two run out players almost went over 12 minutes. But I guess I drew a pretty good line.
Needless to say Geno beat me in the finals and took home the cash that evening. But it was still a fun night, and the highlight for me was that sweat bet. A hard fought 2 hour 45 minute victory and some good memories.
