I had to think long and hard for this topic. I have had quite a few revenge fu@#s over the 24 years of pool. I truly don't think I can narrow it down to just one. I am pretty sure there are about six or seven that are close. But, this is definitely in the top three.
Somewhere around '97-98? Captain Steve and myself were on a weekend jaunt to Morehead City to play some and hang out on the boat (32 ft Trojan). I call him "Captain" due to the fact he's a qualified boat captain. Quite the commanding in stature, 6'4", 250, shaved head with a fu manchu and anchor earring, even throw in a deep voice. Well, we'd made this trip numerous times and always covered expenses. I was the "tourist." Wearing the flowered shirt, Sperry-like Cole Haans, and goofy shorts, I was a target for anyone that could make three in a row. He plays the local and drinks Jack to the point he's liable to do anything role. We made a good team.
Well, in the truck on the way down, I tell him this riddle. "You know how geese always fly in a 'V' pattern? Well, why is that one side is always longer than the other?" "Probably aerodynamics of the ducks conserving energy." "No, there's more ducks on that side." Well, this became our drinking joke. You know about "drinking jokes" if you drink much at all. In other words, it came up more than once.
We stop off and make a couple of small scores and finally make it to Havelock, where the base is. Airborne? I don't remember. I just know there's six bars within a three mile radius and all kinds of $5 and 10 dollar stuff. I've even picked up a couple of grand on one of our weekend excursions before. So, we stop in "One Eyed Jacks." They are playing a $1/$1 ring game on the big table and so I get in. (Side note: We'd been drinking non stop. Surprise, huh?) I'm doing OK when suddenly this tall, lanky fellow walks in with the Instroke and towel hanging from it. He's followed by a really thick guy and two lovely local ladies. They instantly hit every person in the place and what I call "goof on" them. (Knowing someone's not gonna play but make it known in front of everyone that they won't). Wow, the bells go off like I was fishing the Big Rock Marlin tournament.
"And what are you guys doin'?"
"Playing a buck and buck." I throw in.
"What the fu@#? Why don't you guys bet somethin' and try me some." I was being fucQed with in front of a crowd. Just so you guys know, this kind of shi# doesn't sit well with me unless you are very deserving.
"Well, whatya wanna do?"
"We'll get over here on the bartable and bet anything you want. Hundred a game?" and laughed out loud.
"You know what, fu@3 it, I'm in. I'm out guys. Screw together big boy."
Well, the locals warned me about this killer player, Bill (not real name for hopes of later action). He evidently had been feeding off of these guys for quite some time.
Well, after the banter, I think we agreed on $200 or 300 for six ahead.
"Hey, after I bust you up on the bartable, I'll finish you off on the big table." Bill was mind fu@#ing me.
"I guess we'll see." I have to admit, I was a little nervous. But, I like it.
So it began. I missed only one ball and was down five. He hooks me behind the seven shooting at the six. I jump it at a hundred miles an hour and draw it back about four or six inches, straight in on the seven. I get out. Then, things shifted. I was making two balls on the break and things were really rollin' my way. I got back to even.
"Nice cue, Bill. What is it?"
"Custom, you wouldn't know what it is."
"Really. Raise the bet?"
Well, fifteen or twenty minutes later, I'm reaching on top of the light. And.. out of sheer embarrassment, he posts again. Almost everyone in the poolroom has pulled up a chair, now. I gave them what they wanted, too. Thirty to forty-five minutes and I'm reaching on the light again.
"I'm through."
"Really, well what about all this shi@ about busting me up and finishing me off on the big table. You know what? You got the eight. Jump, Judy." I thought the whole poolroom was gonna laugh out loud. Then, the Captain stands up.
"You know what Bill? I have to ask you something. Do you know how when geese fly, they always fly in a 'V' pattern? And one side is always longer than the other?" Wow, I thought I was gonna fall over in the floor I was laughing so hard. "Well, do ya? You know why that is? Because there's more geese on that side. Now, are we done here?" Bill just walked out without another word. Steve and I sat around and heard all of the local guys talk about what a dillweed this guy was to them. We drank, and talked, and drank. Later that night, while sitting on the rear of the boat (stern?), Steve (after a fifth of Jack) says, "You know that guy was as tall as me when he walked in. I think you shrunk him."
I know this wasn't a revenge fuc@ing story, but definitely some of the most fun cash I've ever won, blah blah.
Somewhere around '97-98? Captain Steve and myself were on a weekend jaunt to Morehead City to play some and hang out on the boat (32 ft Trojan). I call him "Captain" due to the fact he's a qualified boat captain. Quite the commanding in stature, 6'4", 250, shaved head with a fu manchu and anchor earring, even throw in a deep voice. Well, we'd made this trip numerous times and always covered expenses. I was the "tourist." Wearing the flowered shirt, Sperry-like Cole Haans, and goofy shorts, I was a target for anyone that could make three in a row. He plays the local and drinks Jack to the point he's liable to do anything role. We made a good team.
Well, in the truck on the way down, I tell him this riddle. "You know how geese always fly in a 'V' pattern? Well, why is that one side is always longer than the other?" "Probably aerodynamics of the ducks conserving energy." "No, there's more ducks on that side." Well, this became our drinking joke. You know about "drinking jokes" if you drink much at all. In other words, it came up more than once.
We stop off and make a couple of small scores and finally make it to Havelock, where the base is. Airborne? I don't remember. I just know there's six bars within a three mile radius and all kinds of $5 and 10 dollar stuff. I've even picked up a couple of grand on one of our weekend excursions before. So, we stop in "One Eyed Jacks." They are playing a $1/$1 ring game on the big table and so I get in. (Side note: We'd been drinking non stop. Surprise, huh?) I'm doing OK when suddenly this tall, lanky fellow walks in with the Instroke and towel hanging from it. He's followed by a really thick guy and two lovely local ladies. They instantly hit every person in the place and what I call "goof on" them. (Knowing someone's not gonna play but make it known in front of everyone that they won't). Wow, the bells go off like I was fishing the Big Rock Marlin tournament.
"And what are you guys doin'?"
"Playing a buck and buck." I throw in.
"What the fu@#? Why don't you guys bet somethin' and try me some." I was being fucQed with in front of a crowd. Just so you guys know, this kind of shi# doesn't sit well with me unless you are very deserving.
"Well, whatya wanna do?"
"We'll get over here on the bartable and bet anything you want. Hundred a game?" and laughed out loud.
"You know what, fu@3 it, I'm in. I'm out guys. Screw together big boy."
Well, the locals warned me about this killer player, Bill (not real name for hopes of later action). He evidently had been feeding off of these guys for quite some time.
Well, after the banter, I think we agreed on $200 or 300 for six ahead.
"Hey, after I bust you up on the bartable, I'll finish you off on the big table." Bill was mind fu@#ing me.
"I guess we'll see." I have to admit, I was a little nervous. But, I like it.
So it began. I missed only one ball and was down five. He hooks me behind the seven shooting at the six. I jump it at a hundred miles an hour and draw it back about four or six inches, straight in on the seven. I get out. Then, things shifted. I was making two balls on the break and things were really rollin' my way. I got back to even.
"Nice cue, Bill. What is it?"
"Custom, you wouldn't know what it is."
"Really. Raise the bet?"
Well, fifteen or twenty minutes later, I'm reaching on top of the light. And.. out of sheer embarrassment, he posts again. Almost everyone in the poolroom has pulled up a chair, now. I gave them what they wanted, too. Thirty to forty-five minutes and I'm reaching on the light again.
"I'm through."
"Really, well what about all this shi@ about busting me up and finishing me off on the big table. You know what? You got the eight. Jump, Judy." I thought the whole poolroom was gonna laugh out loud. Then, the Captain stands up.
"You know what Bill? I have to ask you something. Do you know how when geese fly, they always fly in a 'V' pattern? And one side is always longer than the other?" Wow, I thought I was gonna fall over in the floor I was laughing so hard. "Well, do ya? You know why that is? Because there's more geese on that side. Now, are we done here?" Bill just walked out without another word. Steve and I sat around and heard all of the local guys talk about what a dillweed this guy was to them. We drank, and talked, and drank. Later that night, while sitting on the rear of the boat (stern?), Steve (after a fifth of Jack) says, "You know that guy was as tall as me when he walked in. I think you shrunk him."
I know this wasn't a revenge fuc@ing story, but definitely some of the most fun cash I've ever won, blah blah.
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