Well we got back from our Alpena adventure as I reported in a different thread. Our next mission was the private night in Phoenix. You may have seen the pics of that a couple days ago that Rick S posted of Rixx Images. We all had alot of fun and Corey, Hillbilly and Earl did a great job. The part that is left out of this day of the trip was that we went and played gold earlier in the day. Hillbilly is not that big on golf and has a hernia that he will be getting fixed when he gets back home so he wasn't able to play. So we went out on a wonderful Arizona day and at the firt tee the woofing starts.
Amazingly enough, I am not only the worst poolplayer in the world I am also the worlds worst golfer. I explained this to Corey and told him that Kim Davenport gives me a stroke a hole. Corey said "I can't beat Kim so I can't give you that kinda spot" I told him that I was probably giving him money and that it was a fair bet. Corey asked to se my swing first so I swung at a imaginary ball and did my best impression of Charles Barkley. Corey looked at me a little scared and asked if I was ok. Apparently he thought I was having a siezure. So I got 15 strokes out of him.
Earl and Corey are playing $20 a hole and have played together before and know each others speed. I didn't bet with Earl as I have played before and can beat the hell out of me. Corey was making fun of me the whole time and trying to shark me with his little comments, I will clean it up a little but he was questioning my sexuality, my gender in general and if this was the first course I had ever played on that didn't have a windmill or a clowns mouth.
Anyway, I stayed pretty close until the back nine and just digged it on a couple holes and that was enough to take me out of the bet. I tell ya Corey is close to his money cos was wasn't going to let me forget about what I owed him. These guys can for sure hit the golf ball, I mean really long and straight We all hada good time with it.
The next day We hada chat about trying to do a exhibition at a pool room that is real close to my house. It was a last min thing and so I called the number to see if we could work something out and get right to the owner. I told the owner that I had Corey, Hillbilly and Earl in town and we would like to maybe do a show there. He toldme "No thatn k you we don't need that" I asked him "What if we jusyt came in and did a little something for free if you give us some table time to practice?" he replies "No thank you we have too much going on tonight". Well I am amazed that he does not even what us in his pool room cos I said ah well youyare close tous so we will prob just come in and practice later tonight. "No, don't worry about it, you should just go somewhere else we are too busy with other stuff" WTF??? I told the guys and they are actually a little pissed that he don't even want us to come by. I have spoken to this ownerbefore and he is very proud of his poolroom. Corey said come on lets just go anyway, whats he gonna do kick us out? So we head over there. As we pull up to the pool room everything makes sense. No lights on inside and a big poster in the window saying "Space available". As sorry as I feel for the owner at this point I felt good that the reason he didn't want us there wasn't anything to do with us.
So Team CSI decided to call it a night as it was getting late anyway. We come back to my little home and as I look out the back patio door there is a cat I have never seen before trying to get in. For all of you who think Earl is not the nicest man let me tell you he loved animals. He wants to let the cat in. I told him no, I have no pets and don't want a cat to come in and think he lives here and tear up my stuff and then crap everywhere.
Earl says "He's cold and looks hungry" (This cat hadn't missed a meal believe me and it was in the 70's outside) Again I told him "NO IT CAN'T COME IN" Earl looked at me with one of those confused looks he has and said "You are gonna let the cat just die out there?" "Earl, the cat ain't dieing but if it comes in here and tears my leather couch and craps it will die for sure" Earl then goes to my freezer and makes a grilled chicken breast. No big deal my house is he house or any guest I haves house. Guess what he does?? Yep, takes the grilled chicken breast out and chops it up and gives it to the cat. I asked, why he said "I was going to eat it but I am giving it to the cat instead cos I am not cold hearted like some people" Wow ok now he is trying another angle. I told him "Ok, you wantthe cat inside the house?" "Yes" I explained that id the cat did any damage he would be responsible for it. He said ok, I said "if it claws my couch are you gonna buy me a new leather couch?" He said yes. So we have another visitor. As much as I didn't like it it was funny to see the softer side again.
Next I speak to the owner of Kolby's Corner Pocket in Tempe and tellhim we are going to swing by and he says he will take careof our time if we want to go in. Also he has a $1,000 added handi cap tourny this weekend and he would love it if we could play in it. So We make thedecision to play in the tourney which is being streamed as we speak I believe, knowing that we have to drive to Reno right after the finals if the guys get that far. Charlie is in the final 8 and so is Earl. So Team CSI are doing ok and considering it is handicapped and they have the max handicap against some strong players so my fingers are crossed for the guys. Well wish us luck on the road to Reno for the US Bar Table Championship. I just spoke to Bill Stock and he told me there is a foot of snow on the ground and its still coming down.
Amazingly enough, I am not only the worst poolplayer in the world I am also the worlds worst golfer. I explained this to Corey and told him that Kim Davenport gives me a stroke a hole. Corey said "I can't beat Kim so I can't give you that kinda spot" I told him that I was probably giving him money and that it was a fair bet. Corey asked to se my swing first so I swung at a imaginary ball and did my best impression of Charles Barkley. Corey looked at me a little scared and asked if I was ok. Apparently he thought I was having a siezure. So I got 15 strokes out of him.
Earl and Corey are playing $20 a hole and have played together before and know each others speed. I didn't bet with Earl as I have played before and can beat the hell out of me. Corey was making fun of me the whole time and trying to shark me with his little comments, I will clean it up a little but he was questioning my sexuality, my gender in general and if this was the first course I had ever played on that didn't have a windmill or a clowns mouth.
Anyway, I stayed pretty close until the back nine and just digged it on a couple holes and that was enough to take me out of the bet. I tell ya Corey is close to his money cos was wasn't going to let me forget about what I owed him. These guys can for sure hit the golf ball, I mean really long and straight We all hada good time with it.
The next day We hada chat about trying to do a exhibition at a pool room that is real close to my house. It was a last min thing and so I called the number to see if we could work something out and get right to the owner. I told the owner that I had Corey, Hillbilly and Earl in town and we would like to maybe do a show there. He toldme "No thatn k you we don't need that" I asked him "What if we jusyt came in and did a little something for free if you give us some table time to practice?" he replies "No thank you we have too much going on tonight". Well I am amazed that he does not even what us in his pool room cos I said ah well youyare close tous so we will prob just come in and practice later tonight. "No, don't worry about it, you should just go somewhere else we are too busy with other stuff" WTF??? I told the guys and they are actually a little pissed that he don't even want us to come by. I have spoken to this ownerbefore and he is very proud of his poolroom. Corey said come on lets just go anyway, whats he gonna do kick us out? So we head over there. As we pull up to the pool room everything makes sense. No lights on inside and a big poster in the window saying "Space available". As sorry as I feel for the owner at this point I felt good that the reason he didn't want us there wasn't anything to do with us.
So Team CSI decided to call it a night as it was getting late anyway. We come back to my little home and as I look out the back patio door there is a cat I have never seen before trying to get in. For all of you who think Earl is not the nicest man let me tell you he loved animals. He wants to let the cat in. I told him no, I have no pets and don't want a cat to come in and think he lives here and tear up my stuff and then crap everywhere.
Earl says "He's cold and looks hungry" (This cat hadn't missed a meal believe me and it was in the 70's outside) Again I told him "NO IT CAN'T COME IN" Earl looked at me with one of those confused looks he has and said "You are gonna let the cat just die out there?" "Earl, the cat ain't dieing but if it comes in here and tears my leather couch and craps it will die for sure" Earl then goes to my freezer and makes a grilled chicken breast. No big deal my house is he house or any guest I haves house. Guess what he does?? Yep, takes the grilled chicken breast out and chops it up and gives it to the cat. I asked, why he said "I was going to eat it but I am giving it to the cat instead cos I am not cold hearted like some people" Wow ok now he is trying another angle. I told him "Ok, you wantthe cat inside the house?" "Yes" I explained that id the cat did any damage he would be responsible for it. He said ok, I said "if it claws my couch are you gonna buy me a new leather couch?" He said yes. So we have another visitor. As much as I didn't like it it was funny to see the softer side again.
Next I speak to the owner of Kolby's Corner Pocket in Tempe and tellhim we are going to swing by and he says he will take careof our time if we want to go in. Also he has a $1,000 added handi cap tourny this weekend and he would love it if we could play in it. So We make thedecision to play in the tourney which is being streamed as we speak I believe, knowing that we have to drive to Reno right after the finals if the guys get that far. Charlie is in the final 8 and so is Earl. So Team CSI are doing ok and considering it is handicapped and they have the max handicap against some strong players so my fingers are crossed for the guys. Well wish us luck on the road to Reno for the US Bar Table Championship. I just spoke to Bill Stock and he told me there is a foot of snow on the ground and its still coming down.