The competitor cycle
- Thread starter Tin Man
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Guy Manges
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Demetrius, Why does this remind me of the last set of the 2022 Mosconi between Shane and Jayson... Guy
Dang Tinman, got me thinkin’.
I like how you touched on the idea that there is no way to eliminate your ego. I think I’m realizing this as I grow. It’s always going to be in the background, but it’s important to have the wherewithal to recognize the potential it has to affect my actions.
As it pertains to pool, how can we maintain a confident approach without the need to preserve that ego fueled self-image?
My best friends dad told me, “nobody’s above a suggestion and never be too proud to dig a ditch.” I might think I’m the best shot in the room, but I can learn from every opponent. Didn’t Efren say that he learned a lot of his “magic” by watching how lower level players fluked in shots? He approached it as a learning experience.
I always try to shake off a mistake by telling myself, “that’s how I learn.” But shoot, I still have to have the expectation that I’ll get it right next time. I don’t want to take the mentality that I’m just happy to be here. I don’t think that that leads to my best honest effort. I want to be humble, but I can sometimes psyche myself out.
Thanks for posting. I like the way you think.
I like how you touched on the idea that there is no way to eliminate your ego. I think I’m realizing this as I grow. It’s always going to be in the background, but it’s important to have the wherewithal to recognize the potential it has to affect my actions.
As it pertains to pool, how can we maintain a confident approach without the need to preserve that ego fueled self-image?
My best friends dad told me, “nobody’s above a suggestion and never be too proud to dig a ditch.” I might think I’m the best shot in the room, but I can learn from every opponent. Didn’t Efren say that he learned a lot of his “magic” by watching how lower level players fluked in shots? He approached it as a learning experience.
I always try to shake off a mistake by telling myself, “that’s how I learn.” But shoot, I still have to have the expectation that I’ll get it right next time. I don’t want to take the mentality that I’m just happy to be here. I don’t think that that leads to my best honest effort. I want to be humble, but I can sometimes psyche myself out.
Thanks for posting. I like the way you think.
Thank you Varmint!
Yes, there are many interesting ways this conversation can continue. How do humility and beginner's mind blend with quiet confidence in your abilities? Without ego desire fueling us, how do we find motivation to put in hours practicing and digging deep during competition?
I don't pretend to have all of the answers but I've definitely given those questions a lot of thoughts and have found answers that work for me to some extent. I do teach mental game and dig in to a lot of this stuff, this was just meant to be a snap shot that could help people look at their experiences in a new way. If by understanding this cycle it doesn't hurt so much to go through it then hopefully more people can enjoy this game a bit more with less negative energy.
Thanks Lawnboy!
I don't know what happened that set. I'm guessing someone got up big and then fell short?
That's pool...
I get it man. I respect that you took the risk to give up the known of your 9-5 and go all in on this.
This was a valuable video to see. It gave me plenty I will have to think about.
As far as the question above, I think at least part of the answer is in definitions. Your description of ego is excellent when you talk about building up false expectations and false images of yourself. Saw a definition of “fear” as False Expectations Appearing Real. Humility involves accurate assessment. If you are really good it is a false humility to say you are terrible. Possible that false humility may be pride in disguise.
For me I have had moments of success in the mental game by allowing myself the possibility of making a shot or winning a game. Saying to myself something like “I can win this game.” It is objectively true. Maybe I won’t. But I can make a ball. I can run 3 balls. Sure I could miss. But maybe I won’t. Maybe my opponent will give me ball in hand with 2 balls left. That can free me up to perform a little better. But I have a lot to learn and improve on in the mental game - your description of ego hit a little close to home.
As far as improvement, I think ego/pride can harm as much or more than motivate. How many of us avoid the hard drill or working on a weakness because it exposes us? Ego saying you are supposed to be able to do this drill etc...
I do like the image of the ego as a little league parent. That may help me shut that voice up sometimes
Hahaha. I know you meant it as a compliment but it sounded kind of funny. Like "Really, you're going to try to do this for a living?" It's kind of like when your buddy says "You're going to play so and so? Oh. Good luck. At least it's on a bar table..."
Seriously, the vast majority of what I do are the 3 day bootcamps which are all about the physical game. The mental game stuff I offer because it means a lot to me. The funny part is the people who need it the most are the same people who would never reach out to me. That's ok. I have a word for those people: My competition.
Stay strong brother!
Yes, false humility is definitely a form of ego. Ask me how I know. When I was a teenager I was all about it. The idea was to have higher standards than anyone else. Oh, he's a 790 Fargo? He's ok. Fedor is good. Everyone else is mediocre...This was a valuable video to see. It gave me plenty I will have to think about.
As far as the question above, I think at least part of the answer is in definitions. Your description of ego is excellent when you talk about building up false expectations and false images of yourself. Saw a definition of “fear” as False Expectations Appearing Real. Humility involves accurate assessment. If you are really good it is a false humility to say you are terrible. Possible that false humility may be pride in disguise.
For me I have had moments of success in the mental game by allowing myself the possibility of making a shot or winning a game. Saying to myself something like “I can win this game.” It is objectively true. Maybe I won’t. But I can make a ball. I can run 3 balls. Sure I could miss. But maybe I won’t. Maybe my opponent will give me ball in hand with 2 balls left. That can free me up to perform a little better. But I have a lot to learn and improve on in the mental game - your description of ego hit a little close to home.
As far as improvement, I think ego/pride can harm as much or more than motivate. How many of us avoid the hard drill or working on a weakness because it exposes us? Ego saying you are supposed to be able to do this drill etc...
I do like the image of the ego as a little league parent. That may help me shut that voice up sometimes
The idea was to shoot for the stars and hit the moon, and to motivate myself to close the gap between me and reality. Oh, and I would absolutely beat myself until I got there, that's the ticket.
People see how stupid that is when it comes to coaching kids or managing employees, but somehow we think we're sneaky smart to run our own ship that way. I wish I could say I grew out of it on my own, but I had a lot of guidance from some very experienced individuals who helped me get past that to some extent. I owe them so much. So this is all about trying to share my own mistakes so other people might benefit from them. Physical game is easier because you can watch and learn. But mental game requires a conversation. Thanks for chatting about it.
Guy Manges
Registered
Yep, Thats Pool...I don't know what happened that set. I'm guessing someone got up big and then fell short?
That's pool...
Guy Manges
Registered
Life... GuyThis was a valuable video to see. It gave me plenty I will have to think about.
As far as the question above, I think at least part of the answer is in definitions. Your description of ego is excellent when you talk about building up false expectations and false images of yourself. Saw a definition of “fear” as False Expectations Appearing Real. Humility involves accurate assessment. If you are really good it is a false humility to say you are terrible. Possible that false humility may be pride in disguise.
For me I have had moments of success in the mental game by allowing myself the possibility of making a shot or winning a game. Saying to myself something like “I can win this game.” It is objectively true. Maybe I won’t. But I can make a ball. I can run 3 balls. Sure I could miss. But maybe I won’t. Maybe my opponent will give me ball in hand with 2 balls left. That can free me up to perform a little better. But I have a lot to learn and improve on in the mental game - your description of ego hit a little close to home.
As far as improvement, I think ego/pride can harm as much or more than motivate. How many of us avoid the hard drill or working on a weakness because it exposes us? Ego saying you are supposed to be able to do this drill etc...
I do like the image of the ego as a little league parent. That may help me shut that voice up sometimes