Bad Sportsmanship?

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palmer54

Registered
Hello all, Long time lurker but decided to start posting mainly due to what came up last night. Glad to be here.

Last night in my APA 9-ball match I was thrown blind and the other team threw a skill level two who I have a long history with. I had to kick off my team a few sessions ago for a multitude of reasons and she and my wife had had words on numerous occasions. This a person I can live without seeing much less playing in a match. Well, Of course I play horrible, she plays great and gets alot of rolls, and wins. At the beginning of the match and the end of the match, I refused to shake her hand-which i would have refused to do win or lose. I do not respect her nor will I show her that sign of respect. I did wish her luck at the beginning and said good match twice at the end. I feel like I a justified in acting in a classy manner but not wanting to shake her hand. I didnt feel like this was a big deal

Well, as we all know, people who you have issues with always find ways to blow things out of proportion. This time she went around the bar telling people I respect and who I play with often along with friends of mine that I am a bad sport cause I lost to her. So what is your take, I say I am being a good sport giving her acknowledgment but refusing to have physical contact with someone who I feel is a horrible person, or am i a bad sport.
 
I dont shake hands, say good game or anything to certain people. Only words I might say to them are "push" and "foul." Life's too short to be fake. Next time don't even say good game. Don't be a jerk just pretty much stay out of their way and play your set.
 
I am the same way, there are some people, and they know who they are, we are better off not interacting with. Of course, it has nothing to do with me, it's them and it's all their fault. :)
 
If she offered to shake, and you refused, then I would say that is bad sportsmanship.

If you make it a practice to not shake anyone's hand, then that's a different story.

You're letting her control how you act when you are playing and competing in a sport.

Being a good sport, is doing what is right, regardless of your personal feelings.

my $.02

What she did after the fact, is also poor sportsmanship, but two wrongs don't make a right. Ever. Neither is it justification.

Here's a quick question for you. If you'd have shook her hand, would you have felt a need to post about it? To see if you were right in your decision? No reply is needed for that question.

as always...
 
I kind of disagree, even though I do see your point. Being a gentleman and a good sport is done out of choice regardless of how it is received. IMHO you should always offer the courtesy of a hand-shake and a "good game" regardless of whether you want to.

A lot of people suck at life and you don't have to respect them but leave all that off the table. Congratulating someone after a match well played in an "equal" contest deserves the appropriate response. Just my 2 cents.

If you can't play nice in the sandbox, don't play in the sandbox.
 
palmer54 said:
Hello all, Long time lurker but decided to start posting mainly due to what came up last night. Glad to be here.

Last night in my APA 9-ball match I was thrown blind and the other team threw a skill level two who I have a long history with. I had to kick off my team a few sessions ago for a multitude of reasons and she and my wife had had words on numerous occasions. This a person I can live without seeing much less playing in a match. Well, Of course I play horrible, she plays great and gets alot of rolls, and wins. At the beginning of the match and the end of the match, I refused to shake her hand-which i would have refused to do win or lose. I do not respect her nor will I show her that sign of respect. I did wish her luck at the beginning and said good match twice at the end. I feel like I a justified in acting in a classy manner but not wanting to shake her hand. I didnt feel like this was a big deal

Well, as we all know, people who you have issues with always find ways to blow things out of proportion. This time she went around the bar telling people I respect and who I play with often along with friends of mine that I am a bad sport cause I lost to her. So what is your take, I say I am being a good sport giving her acknowledgment but refusing to have physical contact with someone who I feel is a horrible person, or am i a bad sport.
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Short answer....Yes, bad sportmanship. Before the match it's customary to shake hands with your competitor. After the match it's also a good gesture to shake and say good match or something to that effect.
I have had many matches over the years with people I do not or ever will care much about, for one reason or another. It's difficult to shake their hand, but I force myself, just because I feel if I don;t, I will lower myself to their level.
However, after all that nicey nice stuff, I don't have to buy them a beer or even talk to them. I just put up a good front for the game and the one game only.
 
Ok

K Knight said:
I kind of disagree, even though I do see your point. Being a gentleman and a good sport is done out of choice regardless of how it is received. IMHO you should always offer the courtesy of a hand-shake and a "good game" regardless of whether you want to.

A lot of people suck at life and you don't have to respect them but leave all that off the table. Congratulating someone after a match well played in an "equal" contest deserves the appropriate response. Just my 2 cents.

If you can't play nice in the sandbox, don't play in the sandbox.
Click to expand...

After a friend of mine pointed out to me, I guess about a year ago, I prefer not to shake hands with people. A fist bump will work. I admit, I slip up and shake hands sometimes, just out of habit. But do you guys realize how many people go to the bathroom, and never even bother to rinse their hands, let alone use soap? My guess is, while I was in Vegas for 11 days, I saw 15% of the guys walking from the mens room, who stopped to wash their hands. Most of the guys walk out and never even looked toward the sink. I'm not OCD, but c'mon people.

As for the original post, as long as you wished her luck, and gave a good match after, you're ok. Thats my opinion
 
Thank you for your comments. I see that some feel like I was ok and some felt like I was in the wrong. That was the mixed feelings I got from others around last night. It is an interesting situation if it were to come up again, I dont know how I would want to handle it.
 
I'm not sure if it's bad sportsmanship or just being petty.

I can't understand why you would acknowledge her good shots etc... throughout the match and then decide to not shake her hand.

Either be a good sportsman/cordial before, during, and after the match or not at all.
 
not shaking hands after a match can be seen by many as bad sportsmanship so her perception is justified. regardless of who i play i strive to shake hands before and after a match whether win or lose. i feel it is common courtesy. i had a player on a team i captained who would walk away without shaking hands, i got tired of making apoligies for him. this is part of the reason i left the team. it is after all a game of recreation for most of us so why be so uptight. JMHO

Mike
 
Swallow your pride and shake her hand. You may not want to and you may not like it, but it doesn't mean that it's wrong to do so.....after all your game with her isn't your relationship with her.
 
palmer54 said:
Hello all, Long time lurker but decided to start posting mainly due to what came up last night. Glad to be here.

Last night in my APA 9-ball match I was thrown blind and the other team threw a skill level two who I have a long history with. I had to kick off my team a few sessions ago for a multitude of reasons and she and my wife had had words on numerous occasions. This a person I can live without seeing much less playing in a match. Well, Of course I play horrible, she plays great and gets alot of rolls, and wins. At the beginning of the match and the end of the match, I refused to shake her hand-which i would have refused to do win or lose. I do not respect her nor will I show her that sign of respect. I did wish her luck at the beginning and said good match twice at the end. I feel like I a justified in acting in a classy manner but not wanting to shake her hand. I didnt feel like this was a big deal

Well, as we all know, people who you have issues with always find ways to blow things out of proportion. This time she went around the bar telling people I respect and who I play with often along with friends of mine that I am a bad sport cause I lost to her. So what is your take, I say I am being a good sport giving her acknowledgment but refusing to have physical contact with someone who I feel is a horrible person, or am i a bad sport.
Click to expand...

it's easy to throw sportsmanship out the window when there's bad blood. I've been in this situation, I know how hard it is to put sportsmanship first. As a captian I always try lead by example, plus i have an awsome partner who always brings out the best in me. when confronted by these situations I always think to myself what would her advice to me be?

I'm pretty sure in this situation she would always want me to take the high road and be the better person, even if it was someone she didn't like either.

You should also keep in mind that if a person is out to get under your skin, showing a bit of class in face of this totally undermines thier efforts.
 
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She beat you fair and square on the table. Shake her hand and play nice until the match is over, then flip her off from across the room. Maybe key her car as you leave. :D
 
Thanks for all your input guys. I want to point out I wouldnt have shook her hand weather I won, lost, or the building caught fire. But, after reading alot of your posts, I see where I should at least give a half hearted handshake to at least show respeat to the game and others.
 
Sounds to me like you worry way too much over what people think of you.

You want her approval, or for her to think you're an OK guy, evidenced by you telling her "good luck" and atta boys after a good shots and/or "good match" at the end.

Then you worry about what she's telling "your friends at the bar". If they're your friends, she's not telling them anything they don't already know. If they're not friends, who gives a rats ass?

Now you're coming on here looking for our approval (folks you don't even know) and confirmation that your bad sportsmanship was justified.

It wasn't.

Brutal truth is that it's this kind of behavior that tarnishes our sport.
 
K Knight said:
I kind of disagree, even though I do see your point. Being a gentleman and a good sport is done out of choice regardless of how it is received. IMHO you should always offer the courtesy of a hand-shake and a "good game" regardless of whether you want to.

A lot of people suck at life and you don't have to respect them but leave all that off the table. Congratulating someone after a match well played in an "equal" contest deserves the appropriate response. Just my 2 cents.

If you can't play nice in the sandbox, don't play in the sandbox.
Click to expand...

Tap, tap, tap.
:thumbup:

If you believe you are the better person, you should act like it.

Easily said, I realize. Situations develop, and many times we don't have the luxury of thinking out how we should react to a given situation. Hindsight is much more accurate.
 
I'd rather be a bad sport all day long after reading this thread. In most cases its not like you are choosing to play this person. It's cause of league or a tournament when you run into people that you'd rather see them play russian roulette with a 9mm. All I'm saying is you don't owe your opponent anything other than a fair chance to play their game.

The process of Flipping the coin or lagging, telling push outs or calling shots, asking someone to watch a hit, or saying you fouled is really all the conversation that is needed for a match to take place. As long as you do that and don't sit there and constantly shark the person, you are a good sport in my book. There's no rule saying you need to be courteous and nice just because you are playing someone. We aren't raising our children to be better people in a game of pool, no need to act like the model citizen especially if the person you are playing is a bastard.
 
VonRhett said:
Sounds to me like you worry way too much over what people think of you.

You want her approval, or for her to think you're an OK guy, evidenced by you telling her "good luck" and atta boys after a good shots and/or "good match" at the end.

Then you worry about what she's telling "your friends at the bar". If they're your friends, she's not telling them anything they don't already know. If they're not friends, who gives a rats ass?

Now you're coming on here looking for our approval (folks you don't even know) and confirmation that your bad sportsmanship was justified.

It wasn't.

Brutal truth is that it's this kind of behavior that tarnishes our sport.
Click to expand...
Actually, it was discussed last night in the bar and it was pretty split on if it was bad sportsmanship or night. I am not worried about what she thinks i am asking the question to known pool players on their opinion on what happened. I didnt come here looking for approval or justification. You seem to be coming off really hard on this one cause there are alot worse things going on in pool that "tarnishes our sport" than a no handshake at the end of a match. Lets no flame on me for asking a question.
 
The hand shake is about respect for the game,not the person.In the future swallow your pride and be the better person.I can tell you people look down on shrugging off a hand shake,it is bad sportsmanship whether you have personal differences or not.Everyone makes mistakes ,the right thing to do is admit it was wrong and make it right the next time you see them.
 
peteypooldude said:
The hand shake is about respect for the game,not the person.In the future swallow your pride and be the better person.I can tell you people look down on shrugging off a hand shake,it is bad sportsmanship whether you have personal differences or not.Everyone makes mistakes ,the right thing to do is admit it was wrong and make it right the next time you see them.
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I am getting the idea that it was wrong and disrespectful to the game. I will attempt to do better in the future. thanks for the ideas.;)
 
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