what to do about stress

[TheThaiger]

Hmm. I still feel it's all innate. You's either got it or you ain't.

Composure and temperament are as important as skill. Difference is, you can improve your skill quite easily.

 

[Matt90]

Good post !!

I agree. I also think most fear, stress, anxiety, call it what you want -is delusional because chances are your not being chased down by a lion fighting for your life. It comes down to coping skills and im sure there are a few simple things people can do to calm down some better than others. Some people, smoke, drink, eat, think positive thoughts, visualize, hum songs, etc etc.

My advice to the op is to find out what your afraid of and work on that. Losing, missing balls, being dissappointed in yourself, expecting more from your self, people judging your game, etc, etc, are all part of pool. If you can learn to surrender and accept these things, it may help with your nervousness. Good luck.

I agree and have suffered from this ailment terribly !! The bottom line question is as you so wisely asked "what are you afraid of ?" I love it !!
All these great "thinkers" and do gooders on this forum go all around the actual problem and this lady NAILED IT !! I really appreciate honesty and people who are not afraid to ask the right questions .It's really no different than all the people that go to the doctor and say I am depressed , the doctor then loads em up on meds .There are a small handful of people with true chemical imbalances who need meds "small". Why not ask those people why or what it is that is making them depressed and get them to work on it . Sorry to go on a rant but it can truely change some ones life let alone there game if a person who cares enough to risk making them mad will ask the right question at the right time .What are you afraid of ?I love it !! This lady even mentioned Surrender and Acceptance !! I just freakin LOVE IT !!

 

[Matt90]

Good one Joey

Some things like fear are learned and can be "un-learned", simply by placing yourself in the same situation over and over until you come to realize the old adage, that there is nothing to fear except fear itself.

I'm positive there are people (other than myself) who never feared losing in a pool tournament but after getting a stiff dose of reality, they developed a fear of opponents who run out like water. They weren't born with that fear of high caliber opponents, they learned to fear in competitive circumstances and they can "un-learn". At least that's the way it with me.

I can't leave you any more green but let me just say this post is a bit better than the earlier one where you suggest to drink a beer then wait 10 mins and drink another beer .Of course you know I abused my beer drinking priveleges many years ago and don't see that as a good option .As a matter of fact if you ever see me drink one beer and WAIT 10 minutes to drink another one ,you better clear the pool room .Bad things are about to start to go down At least for the last 22 years and some change I have not been thrown out or tore up any pool rooms or equipment and have not drank the First beer (that's the key) .Btw Joey this type of waiting and control may mean you do not have the gene for the disease of addiction which I'm sure you know .Believe it or not I play the better players better and don't play every player the same as I would as if I was playing a pro .I am working on it and I believe some wise words you passed on to me over the phone one day help with that.

 

[Matt90]

keep coming back

That is a pretty debasing response. It is possible to compliment one person in a thread without insulting everybody else who responded.

I think you should read all the replies again. Most of them may not have used words that you are impressed by, but most of them gave thoughtful (I understand that you don't like thinking, but sometimes it works) responses which related lessons which worked--for them. Maybe these lessons won't work for you, but that doesn't mean that they were sidestepping the issue.

Very few people respond to threads like these if they can't relate to the topic. Talking about weaknesses is not easy for most--even on a relatively anonymous forum. You basically just replied to all of these people by saying, 'That's stupid.' I'm hoping that wasn't your intention.

Stay strong, congrats on the sobriety (been on a 3-month hiatus from alcohol myself).

dld

I meant no ill will . It's very unfortunate if you or anyone else took what I said incorrectly but I have nothing to apologize for here .I too am a great "thinker" and do gooder .My statement was simple in that the lady nailed it when "we" even myself at times dance around it .Again I make no apologies here for anything I have said or will say .Just know my heart was in the right place and all literature ,opinions , and post are at the mercy of those who would and can interpret what is written or said.Touchy aren't we ?:duck: As the lady asked "What is it we are afraid of ?"I hope you put another 3 months together ,it gets better ,then it gets different ,then better....

 

[Matt90]

very insightful

:thumbup:

Figure out ways to recognize that the grenade exists. A tourney/match-up in pool is not something that really ever changes. They all go through the same rituals every time. I would venture that the OP starts feeling nervous/anxious at the same point in the ritual. Is it during warm-ups? Is it at the first break? Is it hill-hill?

Once a person recognizes when and why it happens, he can figure out how to deal with it. As Ms. Crimi said, there are tons of books and online information to read about this.

One of the easiest things to do is recognize the onset of the anxiety, before it blows up. At that moment, force yourself to smile. It has been shown in studies that simply smiling releases endorphins and serotonin.

Shoot, just recognizing the pattern and specifics of said pattern should make a person happy enough to combat some of the situation.

dld

D, I thought this was very insightful as well.
:thumbup:

 

[nevermiss]

The fact that you are writing a post about your inability to handle pressure tells me that you have it embedded in your mind that you cannot play under heat. In my opinion, you need to lose this perception of yourself because it has become a self fulfilling prophecy.

If I had to guess, you might let errors that you make in a match, errors that you would make while practicing, affect you more than they do playing for fun. This then affects your attitude and you relapse into this mindset of "I cannot play under pressure" leading to a snowball effect of negativity.

Everyone feels pressure and I believe that it is a good thing if you learn to accept it and even welcome it as part of competition. If you didn't care, what is the point? I have begun playing more recently and gambling cheap trying to improve my game, and my experience is that once I learned to enjoy the pressure and use the feeling to focus and bear down it is an asset. Putting yourself out there like this is not an easy thing to do, so I hope that you find your solution. Best of luck.

 

[JoeyA]

I can't leave you any more green but let me just say this post is a bit better than the earlier one where you suggest to drink a beer then wait 10 mins and drink another beer .Of course you know I abused my beer drinking priveleges many years ago and don't see that as a good option .As a matter of fact if you ever see me drink one beer and WAIT 10 minutes to drink another one ,you better clear the pool room .Bad things are about to start to go down At least for the last 22 years and some change I have not been thrown out or tore up any pool rooms or equipment and have not drank the First beer (that's the key) .Btw Joey this type of waiting and control may mean you do not have the gene for the disease of addiction which I'm sure you know .Believe it or not I play the better players better and don't play every player the same as I would as if I was playing a pro .I am working on it and I believe some wise words you passed on to me over the phone one day help with that.

Matt,
I thought I would repost what I said. I don't recommend people to drink alcohol. The person who was asking for help did drink, unfortunately until he was inebriated, but to his credit for saying so.

Here's what I said:
"You could continue to drink alcohol, except stop completely after you have had two drinks. Space the two drinks apart and treat them as if they were medicine and had to be taken over a period of time. If you can't do that, abstain from the alcohol and do the following:"

I don't believe I said anything about drinking a beer every 10 minutes and I was giving advice to the person who drank to excess when they played, not advice for the rest of the pool world.

The truth is that all of us use and take things to make us feel better. Some of us have to monitor how much and how often we indulge ourselves.

I like coffee, even at night. It doesn't keep me from sleeping. I like chocolate and organic dried mango slices from Whole Foods but the dentist says it's bad for my teeth because I overindulge. I like an occasional alcoholic beverage or two and worry when I like having a few, because I know I am walking a thin line. I like a cold glass of sweet and tart lemonade on a hot summer's day while trimming the lawn but know the sugar is not good for me. I like the endorphins kicking in hours after a long hard workout and a bottle of spring water brings tears to my glass eye.

 

[Snapshot9]

Stress

Practice, tournaments, and small gambling will help you to overcome part of the stress, but make no mistake, stress is about you, and what is inside of you. Learning to control your emotions and your body is not an easy task.
Martial arts, meditation, exercise, are just a few things that helped me. When I was younger, I also participated in many other sports, like softball, racquetball, indoor soccer, ping pong, dodge ball, and others.

 

[TheThaiger]

I think people should bear in mind the OP clearly plays at a high level when coming up with solutions - a level few of us can match, probably. There's a world of difference between being able to hold your nerve in a pub match and a national championship, for instance.

I don't think there IS an answer, other than to be physically fit and happy in your private life. I think being able to quickly forget a defeat is important, too, as is taking heart from your victories.

 

[dorabelle]

I agree and have suffered from this ailment terribly !! The bottom line question is as you so wisely asked "what are you afraid of ?" I love it !!
All these great "thinkers" and do gooders on this forum go all around the actual problem and this lady NAILED IT !! I really appreciate honesty and people who are not afraid to ask the right questions .It's really no different than all the people that go to the doctor and say I am depressed , the doctor then loads em up on meds .There are a small handful of people with true chemical imbalances who need meds "small". Why not ask those people why or what it is that is making them depressed and get them to work on it . Sorry to go on a rant but it can truely change some ones life let alone there game if a person who cares enough to risk making them mad will ask the right question at the right time .What are you afraid of ?I love it !! This lady even mentioned Surrender and Acceptance !! I just freakin LOVE IT !!

Thank you......

 

[Matt90]

Joey , Joey ,Joey !

Matt,
I thought I would repost what I said. I don't recommend people to drink alcohol. The person who was asking for help did drink, unfortunately until he was inebriated, but to his credit for saying so.

Here's what I said:
"You could continue to drink alcohol, except stop completely after you have had two drinks. Space the two drinks apart and treat them as if they were medicine and had to be taken over a period of time. If you can't do that, abstain from the alcohol and do the following:"

I don't believe I said anything about drinking a beer every 10 minutes and I was giving advice to the person who drank to excess when they played, not advice for the rest of the pool world.

The truth is that all of us use and take things to make us feel better. Some of us have to monitor how much and how often we indulge ourselves.

I like coffee, even at night. It doesn't keep me from sleeping. I like chocolate and organic dried mango slices from Whole Foods but the dentist says it's bad for my teeth because I overindulge. I like an occasional alcoholic beverage or two and worry when I like having a few, because I know I am walking a thin line. I like a cold glass of sweet and tart lemonade on a hot summer's day while trimming the lawn but know the sugar is not good for me. I like the endorphins kicking in hours after a long hard workout and a bottle of spring water brings tears to my glass eye.

I am really battin Zero on how my post are interpreted today:idea: . You post some of the best stuff on AZb ,Please don't think I was judging , it was just a better post for me to relate to is all .I like good italian food and probably "use" all kinds of things to change how I feel .I just try to stay on top of it and keep it in a positive light.You sir have been a fine example of how to live a well rounded life and a good example for me and many others.
Not everyone who smokes a little wacky weed once in a while or drinks a few beers at a tournament is an addict .I could and probably should write a book about these things but this is a pool forum and the thread was about getting past the stress .If I think about all the good things and good friends I have like Joey A , Lock n Load ,and a few others it helps me relax as well too.No time for Negative is a good code to live by as well as play by.:thumbup: