A Powerful Mental Attitude in Pool - Accepting Defeat

[CJ Wiley]

When I was on the road playing high dollar matches there was a lot of pressure....at times if I didn't win I wouldn't have any money for food, gas and shelter. I had to come to terms with losing, it happens, and looking back it was the losses that improved me and my game the most, not the victories. The way I learned to overcome fears of losing was to face it, even embrace it......they say "what a person resists, persists!" If losing persists we become "a loser" and that was not an option for me!

There were many times in my early career that I was getting beat so bad I'd just give up, at that point something magical happened - suddenly I had nothing to lose, I just gave my game up to my total subconscious, the a part of me that loves "nothing to lose scenarios" - I liked the feeling of having my back up against the wall, taking on the world, there's nothing more dangerous than putting a man in that position......I'm sure you can relate, I know you've been in that situation several times!

After seeing this pattern I started doing it before my matches - I'd imagine being defeated and if it had any permanent effects, it never did...the only person that really cared was me (and my partner if they were betting on me).....if anything, every time I've lost it's actually had positive effects, it forced me to learn something, or gave me a burning desire to train harder to improve!

This is a Powerful Metal Attitude, "to truly win against better players, I must accept and be okay with losing first.....only then, after fear and anxiety vanish can we perform our absolute best!"

'The Game is the Teacher'

 

[thenuke]

CJ, I know exactly what you are saying. At the New Mexico State 9-Ball tournament in 1988 (?), I was in a match with Marco Marquez.

I was in stroke, but I was sort of choking because of my opponent's reputation. I was down like 5-2. I just mentally told myself, win or lose,

I was going to just play my game. NO FEAR. I ended up winning that match 11- 7 or 8.

Went on to beat Dick Lane for the hotseat. Then over a 5 Hour wait for Dick to get back to me and beat me in finals. Slooooow agony

playing Dick, if you know what I mean. Randy Goetlicher used to run a lot of good tournaments back in the day.

A side note - Jimmy Moore told me he liked my stroke. Quite a compliment from one of the greats.

One other great memory, Buddy Hall said to me, Good shooting Mr. Newkirk. I had just eat a road player from Michigan in a

1-pkt tournament in Oklahoma City. For the life of me, I cannot remember his name. But I will always remember those 2 compliments

from 2 of the best cueists of all time.

 

[CJ Wiley]

CJ, I know exactly what you are saying. At the New Mexico State 9-Ball tournament in 1988 (?), I was in a match with Marco Marquez.

I was in stroke, but I was sort of choking because of my opponent's reputation. I was down like 5-2. I just mentally told myself, win or lose,

I was going to just play my game. NO FEAR. I ended up winning that match 11- 7 or 8.

Went on to beat Dick Lane for the hotseat. Then over a 5 Hour wait for Dick to get back to me and beat me in finals. Slooooow agony

playing Dick, if you know what I mean. Randy Goetlicher used to run a lot of good tournaments back in the day.

A side note - Jimmy Moore told me he liked my stroke. Quite a compliment from one of the greats.

One other great memory, Buddy Hall said to me, Good shooting Mr. Newkirk. I had just eat a road player from Michigan in a

1-pkt tournament in Oklahoma City. For the life of me, I cannot remember his name. But I will always remember those 2 compliments

from 2 of the best cueists of all time.

Marco was a talented player, that's for sure. You must have been at the Corner Pocket in Albuquerque where they had tan colored tables. I played in one of those tournaments, New Mexico was almost my home state back in the 80s. Steve Shaw was probably the best player in the state at that time.

Yes, playing Dick Lane was torturous he made you earn each game and made the chair very uncomfortable. That's a great feeling to have legends like Jimmy and Buddy compliment your game, I know you got in the ring with a lot of great players in your time.

When I've told players how I developed my money game abilities they don't like to even think about losing, this is a huge weakness they consider a strength. Anyone that's scared of losing is better off playing for funnies, because it's virtually impossible to win against a seasoned gambler unless they play at a much higher level.

 

[SBC]

I get into this same mindset when the opportunities I get at the table are much more limited than my opponent's. What can you do when they get all the rolls? Sticking you safe by accident, lucking in balls or flopping into position?

All you can do is play better....that is always the answer.

 

[ChrisinNC]

I get into this same mindset when the opportunities I get at the table are much more limited than my opponent's. What can you do when they get all the rolls? Sticking you safe by accident, lucking in balls or flopping into position?

All you can do is play better....that is always the answer.

What you describe are the times that are a true test of your mental strength - when you are not getting outplayed by your opponent but just getting out-lucked. You just have to hang in there, not show your frustration, and just figure that your opponent’s lucky rolls are eventually going to come to an end. Problem is when it happens in a tournament matchup of only one short set.

 

[Geosnookery]

What helps is reminding myself that I’m not a professional player. I play because I enjoy billiards. I like to do my best. One time in high school I competed in our provincial judo championships and made it to the national finals. Where, I lost 9 out of 10 matches. I was ready to quit as I was devastated. My father reminded me that I had won a math scholarship for highest marks and to find pride in that and told me to keep at Judo for the satisfaction and not Trophies. He proved right even though I was never at a top Level I enjoyed it for the fitness and social aspect.

The point: I’m good at other things in life and don’t need to measure my success by my performance on the table. Loosen up. Have fun.

Another variable: character. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And if you still lose, be gracious in defeat. They sound like cliches but are true.
CJ brings up this topic and it’s coincidence that I recently watched an older video in which he puts a thrashing on Earl Strickland. Earl ‘gives up’ and he didn’t improve his image in my books. CJ was definitely the better man on the table that day in more ways than one. If I lose I want to do it with pride. If I win I want to be gracious to my opponent.

Also, we usually meet up again. Joe Frazier said before his first fight with Ali that win or lose He’s going to make sure that Ali respects the name Joe Frazier.

 

[CJ Wiley]

What helps is reminding myself that I’m not a professional player. I play because I enjoy billiards. I like to do my best. One time in high school I competed in our provincial judo championships and made it to the national finals. Where, I lost 9 out of 10 matches. I was ready to quit as I was devastated. My father reminded me that I had won a math scholarship for highest marks and to find pride in that and told me to keep at Judo for the satisfaction and not Trophies. He proved right even though I was never at a top Level I enjoyed it for the fitness and social aspect.

The point: I’m good at other things in life and don’t need to measure my success by my performance on the table. Loosen up. Have fun.

Another variable: character. When the going gets tough, the tough get going. And if you still lose, be gracious in defeat. They sound like cliches but are true.
CJ brings up this topic and it’s coincidence that I recently watched an older video in which he puts a thrashing on Earl Strickland. Earl ‘gives up’ and he didn’t improve his image in my books. CJ was definitely the better man on the table that day in more ways than one. If I lose I want to do it with pride. If I win I want to be gracious to my opponent.

Also, we usually meet up again. Joe Frazier said before his first fight with Ali that win or lose He’s going to make sure that Ali respects the name Joe Frazier.

Judo is another art form that applies to all aspects of life.

When we learn to not go against negative forces and reframe them into a positive result are far ahead of the general population. So many pool players playing the "victim role," complaining about getting bad rolls and how lucky their opponent is/was. These same players won't see the many opportunities they didn't capitalize on which gave their opponent the chance to get lucky.....this is being willfully blind, and mentally stuck.

When we unlock the mysteries of pocket billiards we find the game is perfect, even consistent luck is a skill. I try to take full responsibility where the balls go after I shoot, my philosophy is if they don't go where I want, they Always go somewhere better! This mind set eliminates "rolls" from the equation.

I like what you said about Joe Frazier, he was one of my all-time favorite fighters! Ali was a great showman and talented boxer, but he was overrated by the public, and Joe didn't get propped up by the media. Minnesota Fats followed a similar scenario in pool, he was charismatic, a great story teller, and his rivalry with Willie Mosconi was classic!