Funny Things Said to You at the Pool Room

About six years ago, I'm at the local room in central PA and playing one of the regulars, an old gruff named Steve Gustafson who died during COVID (RIP). Had the white hair and the Wilford Brimley mustache and was dry wit. This Saturday night, we had a trio of guys come in from, based on the language they were speaking, a Middle Eastern country and take the table next to ours. Nice dudes, not an ounce of trouble, but exceptionally loud. Like yelling at each other as normal conversation loud. Steve was at the table while these guys were in the middle of one of their yell chats when he shuffled over to me at my chair.

"We got the Armenian Deaf Squad over here."

As he made his way back to the table, I'm doubled over in tears. He makes a couple of balls, sees I still haven't recovered and walks back.

"I don't even know if they're Armenian but I needed it for the joke."

God, I miss that guy.
 
Mensabum said:
I got lucky and was playing this kid, 550 on his best day, when I heard one of the old guys who were watching say "Kid's a lost ball in the high weeds." Had to stop shooting for that one.😉
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I've also been told "not to let the doorknob hit ya where the dog shoulda bit ya", on my way out of a few places w full pockets.😉
 
I was sweating a tournament at a local pool room, sitting next to a friend. The waitress, who had the former house pro's baby, was complaining about lack of child support or even help from his Mom. She says, "Never let a pool player get you pregnant." He replies, "Don't worry. I'd never let any of these guys touch me." Funniest line I'd ever heard.
 
A favorite is, "I shoot so good, I could make a nun take her clothes off. No! Wait! I Could make the whole convent take their clothes off."
 
The usual group of guys in the pool hall, decided to mix it up and play some scotch doubles which was new for us. I was paired up with a guy who said one of the dumbest things I have ever heard, he said it with a straight face and was dead serious. It was my turn at the table and I was getting frustrated being left without a shot by my partner as bad as by my opponents & mumbled something about not having a shot & playing safe. He said "don't play safe, play to win!"

I couldn't come up with anything better than "don't say shit like that, it makes you sound stupid" & he still didn't get it.
 
Cannot said ... it involved Dieckman , a waitress, and my wife. When Dieckman told a young waitress to bend over more to received a better tip! unstill, my wife walk in while she was bend over!!
 
I have posted this before, and was not said to me, but to this day 25 years later it's still the oddest idea about pool I have heard.

Two guys at a table, just bangers, one asked "what is chalk for anyway?" as he was using it. The other replied "Well, you see how some of it falls on the table as you use it? It's to season the cloth so it plays better over time."

Have not heard a more incorrect or more interesting misconception since.
 
Witnessed X rated.

2 guys are playing 1 pkt and a friend who doesn't play much pool and no 1 pkt is watching. Player A makes a really nice 3 railer from what appears to be a trap. The ball is hit absolutely perfect speed just falling in.

The spectator starts "Oh my god" and the opponent exclaims "Wow". Player shoots another ball towards his hole while the spectator is still carrying on about what a beautiful exciting shot the 3 rail bank was.

Player B is down to shoot and Player A is saying Jesus guys lick that pussy work your dick in inch by inch until you bottom out and it sounds like you 2...."Oh my god. Wow"..
Player B is laughing so hard he miscued.
 
ive played guys giving them 2 mulligans a rack.

dont give them at golf as they may quit betting if they hit two bad ones in a row. gives them an excuse.
but did spot a guy, hit till you are happy off the tee shot. except pat 3's
 
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